To be livid

[TreaclePumpkin]

DH and I have just been doing the usual bedtime routine with our two little ones and they have both been down now at least a 90 mins.

In between all this, DH has been getting dinner ready too. I've been doing laundry, but have been within the vicinity of the kitchen where he has been popping back and forth - even offering to chop the potatoes (but he said he had done them). Had a chat whether or not he was also going to have Mac n cheese (I can't anyway, because of the gluten).

BUT, he has now, as he has plated up his dinner, asked me if I'm eating????????

He has a plate piled high of lamb shank, potatoes and sausages in bacon (didn't spot any Mac n cheese in the end) and he's made none for me!

I have some some toast this morning and some popcorn and some fruit during the day. I've had a busy day with the baby so didn't manage to eat anything proper. Went to the supermarket and whilst there called DH to ask what he wanted for dinner and if I could get anything. He said he wanted the lamb shank at home.

Now he's said he assumed I'd eaten, because the extra couscous from our toddler's dinner had disappeared, so he thought I ate that.

All I had done was tidy up a bit (he had sat with him through dinner whilst I bathed baby) and put it in the fridge.

But if he thought that, why ask me if I'm eating at all at that point?

I just said it was fine, I can microwave something, but I'm soooo annoyed. I know I'm not BU - I just needed to rant. I was really looking forward to a proper meal tonight. And it's just too late for me to bother to start anything now.

He is normally not like this - still a typical man in most things, but genuinely a kind, considerate man, doting father etc etc. However, right now I feel like I'd be well within my rights to LTB!

Ps - Just seen he has left me two roast potatoes in the kitchen

I’d want to kick him. Why did you say it was fine?

Cook yourself something delicious tomorrow and nothing for him. Perhaps leave a couple of potatoes in the fridge for him.

What a selfish, thoughtless man.

wow that sounds like quite the feast.

I would be fuming.

Why didn't he ask if you were hungry or wanted something? Is that not just manners to ask?

Do you usually eat seperatly or cook only for yourselves?

I wouldnt have let it go so easy... Actually I would have prob caused a right scene if that was me.

Can you get gluten free macaroni, make mac and cheese tomorrow and eat it all yourself?

Do you usually eat together/cook for each other?
What did you answer when he asked if you wanted the macaroni?

LTB

I’d have asked him to share.

Even if he genuinely misunderstood at that point when it became crystal clear he should've cooked for you too, with his plate piled high he should've split the food in two, it sounds like there was plenty. YANBU.

If you're gluten free why did he think you'd eaten the couscous? Anyway, it seems quite rude not to ask if you want anything if he was cooking for himself regardless of whether you'd already eaten or not.

No that's really really shit and incredibly selfish of him. Have you told him how hurt you are by how thoughtless he was?

My husband doesn't even get a glass of water without asking if I want one too. No way would he think it was ok to cook a full on toast without making something for me too, especially if I had been doing bedtimes and laundry all night!!

So why didn't he split the meal? Sorry but that really is quite nasty behaviour. You really shouldn't have said it was fine.

Really hope you didn’t leave the baby in the fridge, OP .

And yes, nothing quite presses the buttons like it being ‘too late’ to turn round and cook, but you’re hungry for something nice. Sounds like your chap had plenty, couldn’t he have offered to share?

so he cooked a meal, for himself, and nothing for you?
oh i would go off, he would be cooking his own dinner for the next fucken month, asshole

It's just bizarre, do you both normally cook for yourselves and ignore the other?

I hope you have a pizza in the freezer or something, you need it!

I also hope that you have told him that you are very hungry and were looking forward to a meal.

Takeaway - if there is something local gf.

He was thoughtless and made an assumption that you had eaten, we all need to remember not to make assumptions and be considerate of each other. Might be useful to (gently) point this out to your dh and ask him to show more consideration in the future. If he carries on with being thoughtless then you might have to be a bit more forceful with your views, but hopefully it is a one-off.

How weird. Dh and I always eat together and discuss it in advance. He’s on lates today, so I made chilli ready for when he wanted it and I ate later.

How does it even happen that one partner is cooking whilst the other is doing housework and the cooking partner doesn't think to cook for the other partner too? Like what goes through a person's mind who could do that? It's almost unbelievable. Why did you tell him it's fine? It's not fucking fine in the least!

@Cherrysoup DH is on lates today and I made chilli so we could eat at different times!

How is that kind and considerate?

Really weird and actually pretty nasty behaviour from him. Is he normally that selfish? Order yourself a blow out takeaway, enjoy every minute of it and don’t cook for him again until he profusely apologises.

Toast, popcorn and fruit has seen you through the day??????

That's really odd. Do you often cook separate meals?

Was there only one lamb shank which he knew he wanted the whole of so assumed you were having something else, therefore just cooked for him? But you assumed the lamb shank would be shared and he was cooking for both?

But how would he think his actions remotely normal?