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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be livid

74 replies

TreaclePumpkin · 21/05/2019 22:09

DH and I have just been doing the usual bedtime routine with our two little ones and they have both been down now at least a 90 mins.

In between all this, DH has been getting dinner ready too. I've been doing laundry, but have been within the vicinity of the kitchen where he has been popping back and forth - even offering to chop the potatoes (but he said he had done them). Had a chat whether or not he was also going to have Mac n cheese (I can't anyway, because of the gluten).

BUT, he has now, as he has plated up his dinner, asked me if I'm eating????????

He has a plate piled high of lamb shank, potatoes and sausages in bacon (didn't spot any Mac n cheese in the end) and he's made none for me!

I have some some toast this morning and some popcorn and some fruit during the day. I've had a busy day with the baby so didn't manage to eat anything proper. Went to the supermarket and whilst there called DH to ask what he wanted for dinner and if I could get anything. He said he wanted the lamb shank at home.

Now he's said he assumed I'd eaten, because the extra couscous from our toddler's dinner had disappeared, so he thought I ate that.

All I had done was tidy up a bit (he had sat with him through dinner whilst I bathed baby) and put it in the fridge.

But if he thought that, why ask me if I'm eating at all at that point?

I just said it was fine, I can microwave something, but I'm soooo annoyed. I know I'm not BU - I just needed to rant. I was really looking forward to a proper meal tonight. And it's just too late for me to bother to start anything now.

He is normally not like this - still a typical man in most things, but genuinely a kind, considerate man, doting father etc etc. However, right now I feel like I'd be well within my rights to LTB!

Ps - Just seen he has left me two roast potatoes in the kitchen Hmm

OP posts:
ElizaPancakes · 21/05/2019 23:12

This is such a bizarre thing to do.

Antigonads · 21/05/2019 23:12

What a weird set up.

Divebar · 21/05/2019 23:13

Who cooks 1 lamb shank?

thegreatcrestednewt · 21/05/2019 23:13

Ffs. Ask him to share his food with you. What a weird set-up.

AtSea1979 · 21/05/2019 23:13

@craftycorvid that made me howl! Grin

LizB62A · 21/05/2019 23:13

That's just so thoughtless of him.
Is he always this selfish?

StillCoughingandLaughing · 21/05/2019 23:14

I would have thought it was standard to ask ‘Have you eaten?’ before beginning cooking.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/05/2019 23:17

What on earth is wrong with him? This is beyond stupid behaviour. Is he always so fucking idiotic?

expat101 · 21/05/2019 23:20

Men can be so irritating and thoughtless at times.... bet he doesn't do it again!

RavenLG · 21/05/2019 23:21

Very thoughtless and selfish to be honest. I find it odd he would start cooking just for himself at all to be honest. And at the point you said it was fine I definitely would have said something though. Otherwise he won’t think anything is wrong?! then I’d order a pizza and eat it all without offering him so much as a sniff!

Smelborp · 21/05/2019 23:21

Why on earth did you say it was fine? It clearly isn’t and nor should it be. You should have told him how hungry, tired and disappointed you were. You still can.

MyKingdomForBrie · 21/05/2019 23:29

I cannot understand how you told him it was fine? How did he not immediately put half of the food on another plate? Absolute bullshit that he 'thought you'd eaten' because the toddlers leftovers had gone. Absolute selfish arsehole.

TreaclePumpkin · 21/05/2019 23:31

@sackrifice @HippyChickMama *i meant I couldn't eat the Mac because of the dairy (it's a gluten free Mac because he can't have gluten)

On occasion we eat different meals (we don't necessarily always like what the other is eating) or I will have eaten earlier than him (depending on when he gets home) etc. But that's always established beforehand. It would never even occur to me to get dinner going and not ask him if he wanted some too. We usually just eat the same thing

@ZippyBungleandGeorge There were two shanks - I bought two because I expected us to eat them together at some point. To be fair, sharing his dinner didn't even cross my mind (to weak with hunger to think - lol), so I won't blame him (too much) for not offering.

After he finished eating, he's come back and said he didn't even like the shank (too bland) and that he doesn't really fancy eating the other one - so it will likely go off and have to be chucked. I don't know if he is trying to make me feel better by saying I haven't missed out on anything good or if he is just trolling me now.

He's gone to bed now, I'm at the dining table with biscuits, some haribo and a cup of tea (waiting to get clothes from washer into dryer 6 mins left). Couldn't be bothered with anything else. He doesn't know I haven't eaten properly all day. He'll be annoyed at me for having eaten so crappily, but I know he's going to feel bad about shankgate too

@Craftycorvid Just checked! Definitely no baby in the fridge Grin

I told him it was fine in that way that means it's totally not fine.

But when I go up I shall calmly tell him how he royally pissed me off tonight. He'll probably be mortified.

But this rant (and your responses) has made me feel better. I shall go to bed with my belly full of junk food, with a smile on my face.

I'll be having that other shank tomorrow - he can make it for me (hopefully better than the one he made himself).

OP posts:
MrsTommyBanks · 21/05/2019 23:32

What a git! I'd be raging.

madcatladyforever · 21/05/2019 23:34

You need to go and tell him you are pissed off he couldn't be bothered to cook you anything. I would have thrown his plate out of the window the selfish bastard. Wtf.

TreaclePumpkin · 21/05/2019 23:36

Not sure why half of that is in bold - sorry! Confused

OP posts:
BlackPrism · 21/05/2019 23:40

That's really fucking rude. You ask before not after you've cooked ffs

BlackPrism · 21/05/2019 23:42

If he finds the shank bland then he needs to learn to season....

Ginlinessisnexttogodliness · 21/05/2019 23:45

I’d put the other lamb shank on the pillow next to him

ElizaPancakes · 21/05/2019 23:49

So not only is he a completely selfish chef he's also terrible and doesn't know how to season a lamb shank and would rather it was wasted than be cooked with some seasoning?!

Is he drunk or something?!

MereDintofPandiculation · 21/05/2019 23:54

I have before now shared my lunch with someone I barely know because they've turned up to an event and found they've left their packed lunch behind. I cannot imagine leaving a partner to go hungry when I had a full plate of food.

calpoppincalpol · 21/05/2019 23:58

😐 do two ( or one in this case) people need a meal of plates piled high of lamb shanks, potatoes and sausages in bacon?
I mean thats a lot of meat for two adults for just one meal? Thats more meat then we ( family of five) eat in two weeks.

calpoppincalpol · 21/05/2019 23:59

and the salt will be sky high.think of your kidneys and blood pressure op. I think dh did you a health favour to be honest

Chocmallows · 22/05/2019 00:06

He cooked, but just for him and didn't offer to share when he realised his mistake?

You're up and he didn't offer to sort the laundry out?

Things are really unbalanced and unfair in your home!

TreaclePumpkin · 22/05/2019 00:11

@calpoppincalpol he eats a lot - he's a big guy. And this isn't what we would normally eat of an evening - especially not a weekday evening, which is I think why I felt so sad I missed out on the treat. But I guess, I still have baby weight to shift and that wouldn't have helped (though nor will what I've actually eaten today Blush)

OP posts:
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