To be livid

[TreaclePumpkin]

DH and I have just been doing the usual bedtime routine with our two little ones and they have both been down now at least a 90 mins.

In between all this, DH has been getting dinner ready too. I've been doing laundry, but have been within the vicinity of the kitchen where he has been popping back and forth - even offering to chop the potatoes (but he said he had done them). Had a chat whether or not he was also going to have Mac n cheese (I can't anyway, because of the gluten).

BUT, he has now, as he has plated up his dinner, asked me if I'm eating????????

He has a plate piled high of lamb shank, potatoes and sausages in bacon (didn't spot any Mac n cheese in the end) and he's made none for me!

I have some some toast this morning and some popcorn and some fruit during the day. I've had a busy day with the baby so didn't manage to eat anything proper. Went to the supermarket and whilst there called DH to ask what he wanted for dinner and if I could get anything. He said he wanted the lamb shank at home.

Now he's said he assumed I'd eaten, because the extra couscous from our toddler's dinner had disappeared, so he thought I ate that.

All I had done was tidy up a bit (he had sat with him through dinner whilst I bathed baby) and put it in the fridge.

But if he thought that, why ask me if I'm eating at all at that point?

I just said it was fine, I can microwave something, but I'm soooo annoyed. I know I'm not BU - I just needed to rant. I was really looking forward to a proper meal tonight. And it's just too late for me to bother to start anything now.

He is normally not like this - still a typical man in most things, but genuinely a kind, considerate man, doting father etc etc. However, right now I feel like I'd be well within my rights to LTB!

Ps - Just seen he has left me two roast potatoes in the kitchen

@Chocmallows he did offer to stay down and finish off the laundry - but I wanted some time on my own. The baby is up every 90 mins or so, so him going up first actually meant he got to deal with one of the wakings. I was happier loading the tumble dryer

I'm in bed now - I've told him. He has apologised. Says he got tired of asking because I've said I didn't want anything for the past two weeks - assumed I would just say no. Don't know why he thinks that. He made me a sandwich for dinner just yesterday. And at least half of the time I'm making dinner for us, so he isn't having to do any asking, but we both end up eating.

Anyway, I guess that's that. Tomorrow is a new day

Why did you say it was fine and why didn't he offer to share his food when he realised you didn't have any? You obviously needed food, he had foot and he didn't give you any.

Your bar is very low as to what you'll accept OP. You've only eaten crap today because of him.

So he cooked himself a large meal, and didn't bother to cook you anything because he thought you'd be full up after eating leftover couscous from a toddler's meal?

Wow.

I don't understand why you didn't immediately respond with "what the actual fuck?" & insist he split the meal with you getting the larger portion!

Sounds like he hasn't really done anything wrong as such, he's asked you for the last 2 wks if you want him to cook for you, you've said no. He's stopped asking assuming you will tell him if you want food. He cooked, you said everything is fine. You know that if you asked he would share - you didn't ask. He didn't know you hadn't eaten because when he asked you said everything was fine....

So what's he really done wrong apart from not been able to perform a mind reading trick?

Greedy fuckwit. Is he overweight?

My mouth literally dropped open, reading that. What a FUCKER.
I'd be livid too, and I'd be divvying the food on his plate up to share!

@TreaclePumpkin you have so many threads about being upset, all about a different person, husband, servant, parent, what would make you happy? Seriously?

Bizarrely selfish behaviour on his part and you said nothing, you are the stupid one here! Get stuck in next time and sort it out straight away, no good ranting on here, we can’t sort your dinner out for you!

In this situation, I know full well what my husband would be getting for his dinner tonight......

My dinner however would be a delicious smelling and tasting favourite food of his, but in a single portion.

2 things stand out to me here.

1. If you want to shift baby weight, you are going the wrong way about it. Perhaps find some recipes you can both enjoy and eat a proper meal together.

1. He is a selfish arse. My dh and 1 would never dream of getting something for ourselves without offering. Even a cup of tea or some chocolate.

calpoppincalpol Lol at someone always having to sound like their family eat like Tiny Tim “a lamb shank and a sausage is more meat than we eat in a week”, it’s not a meal I’d choose to eat and agree it’s a lot of meat but no need to exaggerate.

@Alicewond errr, are you feeling ok? Do you really think that I'm crying in a heap somewhere because I didn't get some dinner? Do you really think I meant to LTB over this? Do you expect me to post on AIBU about all the things that make me happy every single day too? Are you that concerned about my wellbeing?

In all my years of being on mumsnet, I doubt I've created more than 10/15 posts total - and even then, I'm not always posting about being unhappy about something.

Why are you are even stalking all my previous posts anyway? How weird.

Anyway, this level of engagement has been far more than you deserved from me in the first place. I shan't be responding to you again.

Thank you, next.

I’ve read something very similar before. The it was pizza and couscous that time I believe. Can’t remember the details.

My exDH did this once and I went crackers.
Selfish beyond belief.

@wombat1a but I haven't been saying no everyday for two weeks, that's what I was trying to say. Even if I did speak up, he can't go back in time and I wasn't going to wait another hour or so for him to make some more.

I'm not fussed that he didn't share - like I said, it didn't occur to me for him to anyway. It's not like there is zero food in the house, I could have made something else if I really wanted to.

Anyhoo, I was a bit annoyed last night, I'm more than over it this morning. My DH is lovely - everyone makes mistakes and he has apologised.

This whole thing is just bizarre. Unless you're having issues with DH or it's normal to eat separately, it could only have been down to a genuine misunderstanding (as you say this is not like him).. if it were me I would have just been utterly confused as opposed to livid! Odd.

Just as an aside OP you do need to make sure you eat properly... preferably with some actual veggies. I know only too well It’s really easy to slip into that snacky half-eating. This is meant kindly ok?

Not being funny but he should have said sorry and given you his dinner seeing as he can have Mac and cheese and you can't? That's really annoyed me on your behalf

@Divebar Yes, you are right about that. Still figuring out how to do life with two kids - I don't know how everyone else does it! And I don't always eat great, especially when it's just me at home during the day. Definitely something I'm trying to work on.

@TreaclePumpkin yes I was terrible for not eating properly when I was at home with 2 kids. They are a lot older now but I still try to batch cook something on a Sunday and freeze in one portion pots so I've got a decent meal for those afternoons and evenings when I can't be bothered making a veggie meal from scratch for me. Comes in handy when I work from home too otherwise I would just live on satsumas and coffee!

LTB

Amy’s kitchen do a great gluten free and dairy free mac cheese btw.