What should I have done?

[BrainScience]

Feeling a bit shit at the moment due to a variety of things but topped by a situation earlier.

I collected my dc’s from school this afternoon. They were both exhausted as 6yo had forest school and 3yo had a trip to the beach (involving a mile walk). I needed to stop at the local shop on the walk back from school as we had nothing in. I go to this shop probably 3-4 times a week, am friendly with most of the staff.

I’m carrying dc’s book bags in one hand and shopping basket in the other. As soon as we get in the shop 3yo lies down on the floor. I tell him to get up as people will stand on him but he refuses and starts crying. I put the bags down, pick up dc2 and carry him to what I need, going backwards and forwards between basket on floor with bags and shelves.

A lady who works there that I haven’t seen before tells me I can’t leave my bags there, they’re a health and safety hazard. I tell her I’ll move them if they get in someone’s way (only one other person in the shop at the time) and she tells me they’re in her way, she was going to stack some shelves right there. So I pick them up and put them out of the way in the next aisle. She follows me and says I can’t leave them there either. I’m a bit fed up at this point and just say ‘it’ll be fine, I won’t be a minute.’ She marches off and then comes back and says ‘is that your child on his own on the other side of the shop? He needs to be accompanied.’ 6yo is doing what he always does - gone to look at the magazines, not touching them, just looking and the whole shop is 4 aisles so not like he’s going to get lost/ snatched/ explode.

At this point I just say ‘oh for gods sake’, pick up the bag, walk out and leave the basket while woman is shaking her head at me like I’m the most incompetent person in the world. Now I have no food for breakfast and fobbed dc’s off with a sandwich for tea as we have nothing in. Dc’s were too tired for me to drive them to a shop, if they fell asleep in the car we’d be up until midnight.

What was I supposed to do? The whole time she was just looking at me as if my children were being animals and I was completely useless. Was shop lady being a twat or was I just being a pita? I’m so annoyed.

Rubbish customer service. Complain. Shop assistants are supposed to help customers in their shops, the clue is in their job title

This

1vandal2

Best just stay at home then. 😂

www.aliexpress.com/item/32689014437.html

Get yourself a shopping basket on wheels op, you can fit everything in it, save your spine and I bet 6yo wants to pull it around for you.

Failing that rig a carrier on the scooter so you can put 2yo to work!

Jobsworth was not assisting the shop or you.

Ah OP. We are all just doing our best at any given moment, juggling kids and bags and responsibilities. You were not in the wrong.

The shop lady could've helped you but chose instead to give you a hard time. Not kind. She could've offered to put your basket at the till or helped get things from the aisles. Your 6 year old was fine and not misbehaving. I really don't think your child could've been abducted or involved in an accident! I used to cycle to the shops to get bread at that age!

What a bitch. Stuff like this is why it’s so hard to take my twins (both with ASD) anywhere.

My local shop are fantastic, I’ve had to dash in there with the double buggy many times and they’ll stand and entertain the boys while I run round grabbing what I need. Or they’ve said I can leave my bags etc with them if I have my hands full.

She could have helped you rather than criticised you.

Complain to Coop Food:

www.co-operativefood.co.uk/contact-us/

I don't have toddlers. I wouldn't survive myself if I did. But, using the power of imagination, being the bitch that I am, this is what I would have done:
turned to her, smiled (genuinely, not maliciously) and said: "Do you know how really to be helpful? Fetch me this, that [give a short list] and have it ready by the till please. That if you want my custom."

and take it from there. If I were around you, I'd ask if I can help (like get you the items you need why you calm your child). Hope you have otehr shops around you where good people work, not arseholes.

She was a twat and she made your life more difficult than it had to be. No need for it and I would probably be inclined to complain.

Having said that, you should think about ordering a weekly shop so you don’t fall short and need to drag over tired school children around the shop- recipe for disaster!

What a stupid woman
Why didn’t she help you?
She could of either put the bags behind the til or collected the 3things you needed.....wth was the matter with her?
Give your kids whatever for breakfast, they won’t care! Then go elsewhere for your shopping!

A tricky situation that's for sure! Never forget that you're not the first to be there though - it was your turn this time, it will be someone else's next time. It reflects in no way on your parenting or children, it is just something that happens that sadly, some people who have been through conveniently forget about, whereas the ones who remember, will catch your eye, smile or even often to help.

In this situation, I would have no shame in either a) staying there and seeing it out, b) carrying a tantruming child with me, c) looking about for the kind person to catch my eye and offer help or d) direct the shop assistant with what help you require. "Could you just pop my basket over there please, I have my hands full at the moment ".

Sorry you had a tough day. Sorry the kind people were busy too. You coped though regardless

Could you do online shops in future to make things easier?

I'd report the woman in the shop, but then I'm petty.

Yes, technically YWBU, but, the shop worker could have just shown a little compassion and said they'd put your bags by the till and just have given you 3 minutes to whip round and get what you needed.

No, it's not her job to make your life easier, but a bit of kindness goes a long way.

Oh you poor thing, why didn’t she help you out? If that had happened to me, I’d boycott that shop for good. That’s my general rule actually, if I experience rude staff somewhere, that’s it... I vote with my feet!

She was mean. But I'd try to pick up what I'd run out of before picking up tired & irritable children. Get it on the way there maybe? Or when they' ve been dropped off at clubs?

Book bags are stupid. I don’t know why adults are always carrying the things around. I’d get a rucksack and shove them in and keep some space for shopping too. Then, in theory, you can enlist the 6 year old to help shop and wrestle the 3 year old too.

But that doesn’t change the fact the shop assistant could have been a lot kinder and understanding.

YABU you should have told her to F off

Thank you all for being gentle with me. I have managed to survive today without feeling like crap. I’ve now got enough food in the house to see us through a nuclear winter.