Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What should I have done?

92 replies

BrainScience · 21/05/2019 21:15

Feeling a bit shit at the moment due to a variety of things but topped by a situation earlier.

I collected my dc’s from school this afternoon. They were both exhausted as 6yo had forest school and 3yo had a trip to the beach (involving a mile walk). I needed to stop at the local shop on the walk back from school as we had nothing in. I go to this shop probably 3-4 times a week, am friendly with most of the staff.

I’m carrying dc’s book bags in one hand and shopping basket in the other. As soon as we get in the shop 3yo lies down on the floor. I tell him to get up as people will stand on him but he refuses and starts crying. I put the bags down, pick up dc2 and carry him to what I need, going backwards and forwards between basket on floor with bags and shelves.

A lady who works there that I haven’t seen before tells me I can’t leave my bags there, they’re a health and safety hazard. I tell her I’ll move them if they get in someone’s way (only one other person in the shop at the time) and she tells me they’re in her way, she was going to stack some shelves right there. So I pick them up and put them out of the way in the next aisle. She follows me and says I can’t leave them there either. I’m a bit fed up at this point and just say ‘it’ll be fine, I won’t be a minute.’ She marches off and then comes back and says ‘is that your child on his own on the other side of the shop? He needs to be accompanied.’ 6yo is doing what he always does - gone to look at the magazines, not touching them, just looking and the whole shop is 4 aisles so not like he’s going to get lost/ snatched/ explode.

At this point I just say ‘oh for gods sake’, pick up the bag, walk out and leave the basket while woman is shaking her head at me like I’m the most incompetent person in the world. Now I have no food for breakfast and fobbed dc’s off with a sandwich for tea as we have nothing in. Dc’s were too tired for me to drive them to a shop, if they fell asleep in the car we’d be up until midnight.

What was I supposed to do? The whole time she was just looking at me as if my children were being animals and I was completely useless. Was shop lady being a twat or was I just being a pita? I’m so annoyed.

OP posts:
sailorcherries · 21/05/2019 21:37

*bag on his back

HRoosevelt · 21/05/2019 21:37

Rice pudding for breakfast? And definitely have a G and T now

MaryPopppins · 21/05/2019 21:38

I was being devils advocate. And imagining the school bags and basket were genuinely in the way. In my local co-op they would be as it's so bloody cramped.

The woman really could have and should have helped OP. If she had time to follow and moan she had time to help.

Had I have been in the shop at the time and saw someone struggling I'd have helped either with the showing or the bags.

And imagining my local co-op. Which is in fact only 3 aisles. I certainly wouldn't have my 6yo out of my sight in it. Just my opinion.

Dizzywizz · 21/05/2019 21:39

I would give the banana with angel Delight for brekkk, or make the cake to have in slices possibly with peanut butter on?! Hot chocolate to frink

LucyAutumn · 21/05/2019 21:39

Wow she should have helped you, especially if it was that quiet. You're only human and she must have seen you were struggling, what appalling behaviour Shock

ShirleyAvenue · 21/05/2019 21:39

Cakes with peanut butter for icing and banana slices on top for breakfast?

Original poster
BrainScience · 21/05/2019 21:40

No milk left sadly. Also not quite 2 cans of g and t left anymore. So that’s out for breakfast.

I could have got 6yo to carry the bags/ basket if I thought about it. But at the time I just wanted to get food and get home before one of them exploded from tiredness. I have no intention of complaining about her, I’m sure she wasn’t telling me anything she wasn’t trained to. It just reinforced the view that I’m a bit crap at all this!

OP posts:
sailorcherries · 21/05/2019 21:50

You're not crap at it. Is there a cafe or anything nearby that you could leave slightly earlier and get some toast//hot roll for the walk to school? Or a drive-thru, as a one off? Even McDonald's have bagels and porridge.

slithytove · 21/05/2019 21:51

Egg mixed with banana fried as pancakes

thegreatcrestednewt · 21/05/2019 21:54

imagining my local co-op. Which is in fact only 3 aisles. I certainly wouldn't have my 6yo out of my sight in it. Just my opinion

Helpful. What do you think could happen?

Soconfusedandlost · 21/05/2019 21:54

Please will you come and be my life coach?

Single mum of 2 year old and 6 month old. The 2 year old doesn't want to sit in the trolley or walk next to the trolley. I'm thinking of getting a ruddy long stick, tying her to the end and putting it across my trolley like a lance (massive h&s violation, my local asda Hitler would weep)

Soconfusedandlost · 21/05/2019 21:55

Meant to add there is no force on earth stronger than your own child when it wants to shit all over your plans

Cryalot2 · 21/05/2019 21:56

How horrid Flowers why do things happen when you are feeling crap ?
I would mention the incident to the person who is normally in the shop. Do you know the manager to speak to?

lazyarse123 · 21/05/2019 21:56

She should have offered to help you, I work in a shop and the 6yr would be fine but the basket on the floor is a major trip hazard, we have a lot of elderly customers who's eyesight isn't very good. But she could do with some people skills.

pandora206 · 21/05/2019 21:57

If it's a plain cake mix (rather than chocolate or something exotic), I'd make that up, mash the banana and stir it in and put in a blob of peanut butter for good measure and call it banana bread. Or leave the peanut butter out and put it on top when it's cooked.

There are several recipes for peanut butter and banana cake/bread online so it should be an okay combination, and fairly healthy too.

AudacityOfHope · 21/05/2019 21:58

My 6 year old goes to look at comics and toys in Tesco when he's bored. I said this a few weeks ago on another thread and dozens of people practically keeled over in horror Confused

LillithsFamiliar · 21/05/2019 21:59

Some shop staff worry that unattended children will trash the shop.
I don't think there's anything you should have done. Your DCs were tired. You were trying to shop as quickly as possible. And the shop assistant seemed determined to find fault no matter what you did. Flowers

moreismore · 21/05/2019 22:01

I was going to say egg and banana pancakes! They are really tasty.

Also she could’ve helped you out, you were doing your best.

Also if it’s at all an option get your shopping delivered (if you don’t already!)

TriciaH87 · 21/05/2019 22:03

If shop lady had an issue and any decency she would have offered to get a trolley if have them our tiny coop has a couple or to put your bags by the till for you. Probably new and been given all the crappy jobs to do so she's on a power trip.

SparklesandFlowers · 21/05/2019 22:03

slithytove beat me to it - fry the egg and banana together. They could have some peanut butter on the "pancake" too.

The shop assistant WBU. If your stuff want in people's way then she could have just left you to it for 5 mins (or helped, even better).

Enjoy the G&T!

StellarLunar · 21/05/2019 22:04

On the contrary OP, it sounds like you're doing a great job. You didn't cry, shout or say rude words to the woman in the shop. She was being horrible. She could have helped you. And although technically she had a point re bags in the aisle she should have offered to move them behind the till or wherever and she could have watched the 6 year old. She sounds like a bitch.
Half a banana and hot chocolate is fine for breakfast.
Enjoy your g&t

Original poster
BrainScience · 21/05/2019 22:04

Yes, the basket and bags almost certainly were in the way. But I couldn’t physically hold them and there are no trollies. Also there was only one other person in the shop, although I would have probably had to do the same if there were more people there. I need to fashion some kind of outfit out of hooks so I can secure bags/ children/ baskets etc to my person at all times.

In other news I found some cookie dough in the freezer so we’re having cookies for breakfast. Thanks for cheering me up x

OP posts:
SparklesandFlowers · 21/05/2019 22:04

*wasn't

aquietlifeplease · 21/05/2019 22:10

I work in a small similar sounding shop and I would have offered to stick the school bags behind the till or somewhere safe and helped you with your shopping. I also would not have worried about your elder child who was obviously fine and not about to wreck the shop! The woman was a cow and not helping the situation at all, you are doing a great job don't let one misery guts get you down!

Proseccoinamug · 21/05/2019 22:13

You’re not crap at it OP.

My seven year old goes to the corner shop alone. As long as your six year old wasn’t disruptive or touching things, what’s going to happen to him in the same bloody room as you?

If there was nobody in the shop you could have left the three year old lying there and ignored him but what you did by picking him up was equally valid.

Wonder what magic solution the shop lady would have come up with in your shoes?

I’d write to the manager but that’s just me!