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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU? - Child waking the street

411 replies

Iltavilli · 21/05/2019 17:24

We live on a cul de sac with a ginnel (alley for non-northerners) at the bottom, so it is often used as a cut through for people walking children to the local schools about half a mile away. Leaving the house this morning around 8am (huge lie in as I normally leave at 6am), a girl of around 7 or 8 was being walked to school by her mum.

The girl was banging what looked like two plastic sticks together, quite loudly, and was shouting “get up, get up, it’s time for school and work” all the way along the street. She was about 100 metres ahead of her mum, but mum was laughing along and not trying to stop her. I said to the girl that some people, like nurses, work at night and need to sleep in the morning so they can take care of people the next night. The girl burst into tears, and as mum got to where we were (outside my house) shouted at me for making her daughter cry.

Given the weather is so warm, and people have windows open to sleep, was I wrong to ask the girl to stop - but also to explain why she should stop?

OP posts:
clairemcnam · 22/05/2019 17:33

But I grew up in a time when it would have been normal for strangers to tell you to stop doing something annoying.

teyem · 22/05/2019 17:35

Then, would they run away when they saw your Mam?

clairemcnam · 22/05/2019 17:41

No, but if my mum heard me being told to stop doing something, my mum would have more of a go at me than the stranger.

SuperMam123 · 22/05/2019 17:43

Good for you, I'd have done the same thing and have done in the past as my oh works night shifts. Extremely rude of the mother to allow this. My ds 5 can be loud leaving the street to go to school at 8:30, I always tell him to be quiet as people might have worked at night like his Dad. It's not right to presume, there are many reasons why someone might be asleep at that time.

teyem · 22/05/2019 17:48

So, a radom comes up to your kid, who is ahead of you and you can see you kid is now crying...you yell, "hey, what's the problem?!" or similar and they mumble something and run off to the train station.

And, that's not a weird moment for you?

Original poster
Iltavilli · 22/05/2019 17:52

Oh @teyem you’re trying really hard here!

The mum did not yell “hey what’s the problem” she shouted in my face. As mentioned I wasn’t clear (mumbling) as she was too busy shouting to hear never mind listen, and oddly enough I did have a train to catch.

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 22/05/2019 17:52

teyem

If she were that bothered about "randoms" approaching her child maybe she should have been closer and parenting better?

Femalebornandbreed · 22/05/2019 17:56

*Really? Do the actual words not give you a clue?

Dd3 was in bed going to sleep the other night singing ‘daddy is best dsis is a pooh pooh’

I didn’t take it literally.

I can’t honestly believe some small child got out of bed, left the house armed two plastic sticks with the malicious intent of fucking every ones sleeping up.. at 8am. It’s hilarious every one is gnashing their teeth at at the thought Grin

somecakefather · 22/05/2019 18:01

Good for you, I'd have done the same thing and have done in the past as my oh works night shifts

So does mine and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop normal noise of a morning.

Snakelight · 22/05/2019 18:07

Of course YANBU.

There's no way that children walking down the street, shouting for people to wake up whilst banging sticks together is normal noise. Can't say I've ever encountered it before.

There's a difference between children loudly playing and purposefully being loud to try and wake people up. Children should not be discouraged from playing but should be discouraged from deliberately disturbing people.

Obviously the child was not being malicious or even thoughtless; she didn't know better, but now (following a polite explanation) she does. It's a shame that's couldn't come from her parent but that's not OP's fault.

WaxOnFeckOff · 22/05/2019 18:08

OP has stated that they only have one toddler living in the street. I think it's more likely that OP is not used to kids normal noise levels. I also think OP has exaggerated her OP. The child was passing through the street, it wasn't prolonged noise. It was a child walking to school, that's it.

No, OP lives in a street that is a cut through to school, i'm sure she is aware of what "normal" child noise is.

somecakefather · 22/05/2019 18:16

No, OP lives in a street that is a cut through to school, i'm sure she is aware of what "normal" child noise is

Leaving the house this morning around 8am (huge lie in as I normally leave at 6am)

OP is not normally there at 8 in the morning so no, I think she is totally unrealistic about her expectations of children.

MRex · 22/05/2019 18:17

I have a DS plus loads of kids on our road, nevertheless I can inform those who are worried that it is possible to have a lot of normal child noise and yet still be disturbed when an occasional kid starts shrieking, especially at this time of year with windows open. Thankfully on my road you can usually briefly hear one or another adult dealing with small noisy one(s). Standard noise when they play in the street isn't disturbing, screaming or shrieking is disturbing. I think most of us understand that.

SuePerbly · 22/05/2019 18:52

YANBU OP.

Just asked my 8 year old DD what she thought. She said the child shouting was naughty and her mum should have told her off. So children can think about their impact at that age.

I am oop North and we all have no hesitation at kindly telling each other's children here, when they are misbehaving.

Any sweary responses from parents would end up with the child being pitied and the parent roundly being looked down on.

Most parents, me included, thank the adults who have told off our "little darlings" as they invariably have a point.

Parents need to actually parent their kids instead of thinking they are "funny and spirited" - no, they are behaving like brats, due to ineffective parenting.

Love the mowing around the settee comment Grin

Femalebornandbreed · 22/05/2019 18:58

Just asked my 8 year old DD what she thought. She said the child shouting was naughty and her mum should have told her off

Ffs Grin

SoupDragon · 22/05/2019 19:08

This thread certainly shows which parents don't give a shit whether their children behave badly enough to annoy others. It explains a lot.

Nad no, I don't believe children should be "seen and not heard". I just think they should be taught good behaviour and consideration.

BoneyBackJefferson · 22/05/2019 19:11

Femalebornandbreed

It’s hilarious every one is gnashing their teeth at at the thought

It is hilarious that the frothers are gnashing there teeth at those that expect a child to be parented.

MRex · 22/05/2019 19:27

Out of interest, those who are so concerned about a stranger letting their child know if they cause a disturbance... Why exactly are you concerned? Your kids will grow up in a society; whether you think the person's comment is fair or unfair you can discuss it with your child, so what is the reason why you don't want them interacting with another adult?

TigerTooth · 22/05/2019 19:32

I do wonder how cross you were with her to make her cry. If her mother hadn’t stopped her then she thought it was okay/ funny.
If you really did say it nicely and explain then that’s not unreasonable but if you growled at her or shouted and made her cry then that was a bit mean imo.

somecakefather · 22/05/2019 19:42

This thread certainly shows which parents don't give a shit whether their children behave badly enough to annoy others. It explains a lot

Again you're being very dramatic. My child is very well behaved. She's had lots of compliments on her manners. I've never been called into school about bad behaviour. Never had any complaints or remarks when she goes to friends houses. She has rules to follow at home, is disciplined if need be etc. Just because I don't agree with you and others about this, you don't have to resort to insulting people and their children. I could make up any old bollocks about 'the people on this thread and their children who agree with OP'...

Grumpymug · 22/05/2019 19:42

This thread certainly shows which parents don't give a shit whether their children behave badly enough to annoy others. It explains a lot.

It certainly does.

Nad no, I don't believe children should be "seen and not heard". I just think they should be taught good behaviour and consideration.

Which by this thread, a lot aren't, and it's not just a case they're not being taught, lack of good behaviour and consideration is actively being defended in the same anti social way, which is re-enforcing to the children that there isn't a problem when there is.

FrancisCrawford · 22/05/2019 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Langrish · 22/05/2019 20:38

Somecakefather

You are being very dramatic. It was 2 plastic sticks and a bit of singing.”

Or, to most people, deliberately inconsiderate behaviour. Do you not teach your children to consider others?

livefornaps · 22/05/2019 21:48

To be fair, I'd have let both the mother and daughter have it.

WaxOnFeckOff · 22/05/2019 21:50

OP is not normally there at 8 in the morning so no, I think she is totally unrealistic about her expectations of children.

So, given that most posters here agree with the OP are we all unrealistic too?

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