WIBU? - Child waking the street

[Iltavilli]

We live on a cul de sac with a ginnel (alley for non-northerners) at the bottom, so it is often used as a cut through for people walking children to the local schools about half a mile away. Leaving the house this morning around 8am (huge lie in as I normally leave at 6am), a girl of around 7 or 8 was being walked to school by her mum.

The girl was banging what looked like two plastic sticks together, quite loudly, and was shouting “get up, get up, it’s time for school and work” all the way along the street. She was about 100 metres ahead of her mum, but mum was laughing along and not trying to stop her. I said to the girl that some people, like nurses, work at night and need to sleep in the morning so they can take care of people the next night. The girl burst into tears, and as mum got to where we were (outside my house) shouted at me for making her daughter cry.

Given the weather is so warm, and people have windows open to sleep, was I wrong to ask the girl to stop - but also to explain why she should stop?

Honestly, I’m not sure if this is real because it’s so ridiculous.

If it is, no Y absolutely we’re NBU and the mother was dim.

Just to add though, that some kids cry at the drop of a hat. Usually when they hear the word 'no'! It doesn't mean they are seriously upset or harmed by the experience.

id tell my dd not to do that.

Femalebornandbreed

Mums net. The land where it's perfectly acceptable to use your mobile in a nursery classroom causing disruption, where adults take offense to every little situation, but 7 year olds carnt act like 7 year olds at 8am on the school run

^ this.

What a strange unpleasant thread.”

Thankfully, by the time most children have reached 7, they have been taught that being rude and inconsiderate is not normal, acceptable behaviour.

3 or 4 maybe, so you teach them otherwise. 7, no.

How do these 7 or 8 year olds cope at school when their teacher asks them to stop talking, messing about or whatever?

Do you think they all burst into tears and their mother comes in and tells the teacher off?

I work nights. I wouldn't be asleep by then. But even if I was I do expect noise. It sounds like it was a one off. It it was a regular thing I would say something.

It’s more concerning that you believe that children should never be taught / modelled good behaviour.

Not once on this thread have I said that is my belief. Either respond to me and discuss what I said, or don't respond at all. I won't waste my time responding to the rest of your post.

@IWannaSeeHowItEnds - if people are regularly trying to explain to your children how to behave then you might want to think again about how you're parenting. If you agree and they aren't nasty to your child then why should there be an issue? Just say to your kid "look, everyone can see if you behave badly".

Hmm... torn on this one, also wanted to point out that I’m a Northerner and it’s a snicket .

That aside, I agree the Mum should have intervened and tried to stop her but also don’t think 8am is unreasonable on a weekday. I do think you have to expect noise around school time if you, ya know, buy a house near a school...

Also have to say that night workers expect noise during the day because most people are not nocturnal so they buy ear plugs.

It's absolutely staggering the level of genuine selfishness some people show on this thread.

This is not a seven year old being a seven year old, this is not a matter of SEN. This is a complete lack of parenting and a sense of entitlement because she has a child.

No, a child does not get to run through the street at 8am banging plastic sticks and shouting, nor should they do it at midday or 3pm, whenever. Because it's bloody rude and anti-social and could affect people sleeping.

You'd have it if at 7pm you were trying to get your child to sleep and you heard someone running through banging sticks and shouting. It's the same principle, it's only different because it's you it inconveniences.

OP, I feel you were extremely restrained. If this had happened on our street, DH would have been up and out of bed in a flash and would have given both mother and child an earful about appropriate behaviour with a police badge in hand.

I reiterate one final time, this isn't about a child's right to fun. This is about the impacts it has on other people. A mother and a sleeping baby, a shift worker who if they don't get enough sleep could result in someone dying, an ill person, an old person, another child who isn't well.

If what you're reading on this thread makes you think that everyone is being too dramatic and you feel 'it doesn't matter', trust me, it does.

Well done OP for saying something. I'd be too gutless to but would have wanted to.

I don't think 8 a.m is too early to make normal noise but what this child did was not normal noise and was deliberate and nasty. Her mum should have been ashamed of her and supported you.

**Again, attaching adult understanding to a young child. A 7/8 year old child despite the words she was using was not deliberately trying to wake everyone up.

Mumsnet never ceases to amaze me with the lack of understanding regarding child development.

I was referring to this. Doesn’t sound like the op was attaching adult understanding to the child. She explained to her in a child friendly manner. The mother was leaving her to it and teaching the child she is right to be waking up the street.

Then you spoke about child development so I answered that point. I’m not sure what you meant by that though.

You did the right thing. The mum probably thought her little angel was being cute . I’ve told children off for bad behaviour, if their parents won’t. I’m happy to be that person .

7 year olds don't possess the emotional ability to realise this in the way adults do. She wasn't being inconsiderate, she was being fucking seven.

This is exactly why it’s the parent’s responsibility to teach them. Which the parent in this case was clearly not doing.

I think you were a bit over zealous OP. She's a child. Possibly she was being a bit wet for bursting into tears but that's about it.
Are we all supposed to creep about all the time in case someone is trying to sleep?
There was a skip delivered at 7am on my street the other day & that woke me up - I should have run out & asked them to be quiet immediately! Or the bin men who come at 6.30?

I work nights. I wouldn't be asleep by then. But even if I was I do expect noise. It sounds like it was a one off. It it was a regular thing I would say something.
Exactly - if it was a regular thing then I think having a word would be justified.

OP, I feel you were extremely restrained. If this had happened on our street, DH would have been up and out of bed in a flash and would have given both mother and child an earful about appropriate behaviour with a police badge in hand.

For banging a couple of sticks & a bit of shouting by a 7 year old? Really??!!

@MRex, sometimes people object to children doing things that the parent is perfectly happy for them to do, which is why I prefer adults to go through me if they object to my children's behaviour. If I think they are reasonable and have a point,vI will then tell my children myself not to do it.
An example from when my DC were young was somebody objecting to my son running on some grass. It wasn't a private garden or a flower display, so I don't know why they objected but they did and told my child off. I considered that rude and unreasonable and I told that person if they had something to say then say it to me.
The mother in the OP thinks her child's behaviour is fine, so the OP needs to explain to her why it isn't. The behaviour isn't really the child's fault.

We all raise our DC as we think best and since we don't always agree I think it's best to talk to the parents rather than the child, if the parent is present.

Cheesy, No, as we've already discussed, these are all necessary parts of life and none are done deliberately to wake people. This was deliberately done to disturb people so it was entirely different.

I did wonder if the child had been learning about knockers-up at school

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knocker-up

But even if she had there was no need to re-enact it!

This really a horrible thread.
Ok the little girl was loud, judging all children as loud, noisy, annoying offspring is unfair.
The names her DM been called.
This is a thread of misery.

The names her DM been called.
you mean the woman who was laughing at her child waking up the neighbourhood and who shouted at the OP?

I think posters have been really restraint about her frankly.

I salute the OP, who had the guts to do - nicely- what we all want to and should!

As a night shift worker now and previously a shift worker that could finish at 3/4 in the morning, I've always slept while the rest of the world carries on. You do learn to tune out everyday 'normal' noise, and know what you can sleep through and what you can't. So for instance if I'm nights before bin day I don't go to bed before they come, I rearrange my sleep pattern as best I can, if there's road works or building works going on I'll ask them for the duration and times so I can arrange to sleep elsewhere. A few immediate neighbours actually let me know now if they have stuff planned. Sometimes though there's unavoidable and unplanned noise and I just have to suck it up, what pisses me off though is deliberately making noise that impacts on the whole neighborhood, just because you can - and it doesn't matter who's in bed, who's got a baby napping etc, it's someone else affecting people's quiet enjoyment of their own home. Why on earth is that acceptable? From anyone?
I agree that at 7, the child probably doesn't understand the implications of her behaviour, however isn't that what parents are supposed to do? Teach children these things? Regardless of who may have been in bed or who may not, the child's actions were unacceptable, shouting, banging and singing may be enjoyable for a 7 year old, but they need to be taught that it's not for everyone else and negatively impacting on others has concequences. The mother here failed to teach her child that, the OP having a quiet word were the concequences. The fact the child cried is irrelevant, given the fact the OP was reasonable in her approach. Another child may have not cried, some children learn that crying can manipulate a situation and do so to avoid punishment, some children are just very sensitive, some children wouldn't have given a stuff. You can't allow everyone to do exactly what they want regardless of impact just because they might get upset - they need to learn to be considerate of others.

The names her DM been called

you mean the woman who was laughing at her child waking up the neighbourhood and who shouted at the OP?

Honestly some posters really have vilified this mother and child and turned them both in to something really menacing. Bizarre.

No one knows if this child actually woke anyone up never mind a neighbourhood.

No one knows if this child was actually seven

No one knows if this child wasn’t actually being that loud or her mother laughing ( mum could have just been happy he’d daughter was happy going to school) and it’s just op exaggerating to get the MN mob burning torches out.

No one knows if op considers herself the bastion of all that’s right on her turf and enjoys putting people straight ( she gets a bit twitchy when people have a different opinion - it’s possible..)

No one knows if this thread is real.

No one knows if this thread is real, well it's MN.

We are just replying to the scenario, even if it didn't happen, it has and will happen to others in real life.