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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU? - Child waking the street

411 replies

Iltavilli · 21/05/2019 17:24

We live on a cul de sac with a ginnel (alley for non-northerners) at the bottom, so it is often used as a cut through for people walking children to the local schools about half a mile away. Leaving the house this morning around 8am (huge lie in as I normally leave at 6am), a girl of around 7 or 8 was being walked to school by her mum.

The girl was banging what looked like two plastic sticks together, quite loudly, and was shouting “get up, get up, it’s time for school and work” all the way along the street. She was about 100 metres ahead of her mum, but mum was laughing along and not trying to stop her. I said to the girl that some people, like nurses, work at night and need to sleep in the morning so they can take care of people the next night. The girl burst into tears, and as mum got to where we were (outside my house) shouted at me for making her daughter cry.

Given the weather is so warm, and people have windows open to sleep, was I wrong to ask the girl to stop - but also to explain why she should stop?

OP posts:
bananaontoast1 · 22/05/2019 07:43

To the lass who doesn't understand regional dialect (dunno how to tag people) - ginnel is a Lancs/West Yorkshire term. Pretty commonly said too, my husband says it all the time.

It's a tenfoot round here though.

In regards to the thread as a whole, 7 year olds 100% have the capacity to understand you don't do this sort of behaviour - and even on the off chance they don't fully get it, that's why they need teaching. A lot of parents are utterly useless and lazy, and if they're not going to do their jobs correctly why not someone else?

frasersmummy · 22/05/2019 07:46

What makes everyone think the child was deliberately trying to wake everyone up..

She was probably just partying her mother.. Wake up.. Its time to get up... Making fun of her mum or whatever
She wasn't deliberately saying the whole street had to get up.. Ffs

Anyway it's the school run. Family were passing by... Not standing outside for any length of time

Live and let live..

MsTSwift · 22/05/2019 07:48

Good call op. Hell is indeed other people

NoSauce · 22/05/2019 07:59

Even without possible shift workers sleeping, who wants to hear some kid shouting and banging first thing in the morning? Why her mother didn’t tell her to pipe down I don’t know. Probably one of those airy fairy type.

my2bundles · 22/05/2019 08:04

Some of the noise outside my house in the last 10 minutes. Multiple adults setting of to work chatting, laughing, running for buses. Teenagers chatting, laughing, greeting g friends and running for buses. Primary kids and parents going to school, parents talking on phones, kids laughing with friends, cars racing up and a bin collection. It's morning, it's commute time and rush hour.

WaxOnFeckOff · 22/05/2019 08:08

My2, again, that's normal everyday noise which you learn to tune out, someone banging and shouting doesn't fall into the same category. OP has stated she lives in a residential cul-de-sac, not Oxford Street at rush hour.

WaxOnFeckOff · 22/05/2019 08:12

I'd also add that I live in a cul-de-sac next to a school and currently the only noise is bird song. There will be the odd car door/passing and then a bit of kid chit-chat closer to 9.

Acis · 22/05/2019 08:15

What makes everyone think the child was deliberately trying to wake everyone up

I think there's a bit of a clue in the fact that she was shouting "get up, get up, it’s time for school and work"

nwybhs · 22/05/2019 08:29

I think there's a bit of a clue in the fact that she was shouting "get up, get up, it’s time for school and work"

Again, attaching adult understanding to a young child. A 7/8 year old child despite the words she was using was not deliberately trying to wake everyone up.

Mumsnet never ceases to amaze me with the lack of understanding regarding child development.

WaxOnFeckOff · 22/05/2019 08:37

Really? I'm sure from age 2 or 3 mine would play "wake up" mummy or daddy if you pretended to sleep. They knew by school age that that was a game and it was for toddlers to play at home. A 7 or 8 year old would definitely understand what they were doing or should. OP has done well to educate the child since her mother clearly didn't.

User8888888 · 22/05/2019 08:38

Thing is you see it all the time that some parents just can’t be arsed to tell their kids when they’re being annoying. There is a mega divide at my daughter’s gym class between the parents that enforce waiting for your turn, not pushing in, not hogging equipment etc (the vast majority) and the odd few that don’t give a shit and let their kids do what they want because they are spirited and delightful.

my2bundles · 22/05/2019 08:50

Mums net. The land where it's perfectly acceptable to use your mobile in a nursery classroom causing disruption, where adults take offense to every little situation, but 7 year olds carnt act like 7 year olds at 8am on the school run.

cookiechomper · 22/05/2019 08:50

I can see why it annoyed you but you involved yourself unnecessarily. When you make things your business, there's always a chance that there will be consequences. In this case it was the mother being rude to you. If this kind of thing doesn't bother you then it's fine.

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 22/05/2019 09:00

On the other hand, if you can’t be arsed to parent your kids, you can’t really get pissy when someone else does your job for you, cookie. It swings both ways really.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 22/05/2019 09:06

Well done op

TeddybearBaby · 22/05/2019 09:18

I like to think I know a little bit about child development since I counsel them for a living @nwybhs. It’s more concerning that you believe that children should never be taught / modelled good behaviour. Emotional intelligence needs to be taught, they won’t just understand these things. The girl doesn’t sound like she has much resilience since just a simple ‘ooh be careful with all that noise I think nurses might be trying to get a good night sleep to look after their patients’ made her ball. I’d have thought she’s not used to being told anything. Ever. I feel sorry for her tbh. Her mother is letting her down.

By the way it’s believed that age 8 is when a child has the capacity to not be be selfish off their own back.

myusernamewastakenbyme · 22/05/2019 09:22

Well done op....at least some people still have consideration for others.....so glad my kids are grown up judging by the amount of stupid indulgent parents on this thread bringing up entitled spoilt brats.

Femalebornandbreed · 22/05/2019 09:26

Mums net. The land where it's perfectly acceptable to use your mobile in a nursery classroom causing disruption, where adults take offense to every little situation, but 7 year olds carnt act like 7 year olds at 8am on the school run

^ this.

What a strange unpleasant thread.

Tolleshunt · 22/05/2019 09:27

What teddybear said.

The average 7-8 year old is perfectly capable of understanding what they are doing, in this situation. They might temporarily forget in the heat of the moment, when following an impulse, but should be very much capable of remembering when reminded.

They need to learn. And can't do so unless they are taught

What age should we delay the teaching till, then, if 7 or 8 is too young?

We do our kids no favours by underestimating their abilities and having low aspirations for them. 7 or 8 is actually late in the day to begin teaching consideration, respect, manners, empathy etc.

NoSauce · 22/05/2019 09:32

Even if the child in question didn’t realise it wasn’t on to be shouting at people to get up at that time of day her mother should have known it wasn’t really fair. Evidently she didn’t, so the OP had to step in.

Hopefully in future she’ll think on before her daughter decides to be unnecessarily loud while walking down the street and have a word a word in her ear.

ichifanny · 22/05/2019 09:34

Well done , I’m a nurse and I get sick of the it’s 7.30 so every fucker in the street can get up fuckers , who can’t comprehend that not everyone is in the same schedule as them .

FrancisCrawford · 22/05/2019 09:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ichifanny · 22/05/2019 09:39

It’s exactly the sort of thing I’d say to my 6 and 8 year old if they did the same , if people don’t explain this sort of thing to children they grow up like entitled adults who think everyone is the same as them .

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 22/05/2019 09:48

oh no, a 7 year old cried!!!! Horrors. I bet a thousand baby unicorns died when that happened, think about that, OP, hey, HEY?? Grin

This thread sums up exactly why I hate most people and their offspring. Inconsiderate fuckers the lot of them.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 22/05/2019 09:49

I think you ought to have spoken to the mum, rather than the child. Waking people up on purpose because you think it's time they were awake is rude and arrogant - it is the mother's fault, since she has allowed her child to think this is reasonable behaviour. So you should take it up with her.

I don't like people telling off my DC if I am standing right there. I prefer that they speak to me and if I think they have a point I will talk to my children - to do otherwise undermines the parent and I think is quite rude. Obviously if I'm not there and my DC are misbehaving I'm okay with another adult politely telling them to stop.