Forgot to send money for cake sale

[DKmamma]

There was a cake sale at school yesterday and, naturally, I forgot all about it so my two weren't sent with any money. Whoops.

My son came home in tears because only he and one other child from his whole class didn't get a cake. There were others whose parents had forgotten, but whilst they were all lucky enough to have a cake bought for them by one of their friends my son was not one of "the chosen ones".

AIBU to think that school could have handled this better and that leaving just two children out for the sake of 20p per cake is downright cruel?!!

I would have paid 10 times the amount the next day to avoid his upset and disappointment. I always contribute to fundraising at school, both with money and time. I just find it so difficult spinning all these plates and remembering what's happening when and on this occasion I forgot his 20 bloody p.

From the OP, it doesn't seem like a one off, though.

There was a cake sale at school yesterday and, naturally, I forgot all about it so my two weren't sent with any money.

It is common for you to forget school things, OP?

I got sick of cake sales - queuing, forgetting money etc, so we never get anything from the cake sale, but when it comes round to my kids' classes to provide cakes, I provide two good sized tray bakes (sell for maybe £20 at the sale?), so that's my contribution. It's important financially to contribute, but I hate the admin around it every week!

My 7 Yr old would also have been in tears, however I would have accepted it was my disorganisation that was the issue and not expected him to be subbed by anyone. We are working on his (over) reactions but it is a long process

I wasn't there to sort it out, but the teachers were

How many "one offs" are they expected to fund?

it was an unfortunate mistake but its not reasonable to expect the staff to pay for your mistakes and those of other parents. We have all done this, we just have to suck it up and take the blame, its not fair to blame the school for not funding our mistakes.

It’s a tough one as I assume it was a fundraiser so while I fully believe you would have contributed the following day, many wouldn’t & if they have lots that do this then they won’t make any money!

I hope your son feels better soon.

Don’t beat yourself up too much, we all do this! I’ve 2 kids who attend different school as one is in an SN school & keeping up with all the goings on is tough!!

I was going to suggest putting a few pound in their bags permanently so they always have but I see you’ve already done this I do this with my older daughter now so she doesn’t miss out.

Yabu

You dropped the ball. It happens.

Just have a little purse with some coins in each book bag. Chat with your son and explain we forget sometimes but he will have money next time and it’s ok to share with friends. I agree it’s not for teacher to get involved, you could have deliberately not sent money as you did want him eating sugar, he has allergies, you disagree with cause fundraising for etc.

Thank you @bridgetreilly behavioural expert for that blunt response. I did exaggerate with the tears thing tbh, but jeez, you're a friendly one aren't you?!

Disclaimer: I accept it was entirely my fault and not school's and I accept full parental responsibility for my children (WTF?!) ...but I wasn't there at the time and just think they could have given the 2 (that's TWO) kids a cake

...these were brownies baked by year 5 for Fairtrade awareness, rather than a PTA fundraiser.

My Dd recently made and decorated cakes for a school bake sale, handed the box over to the teacher and then remembered I had forgotten to give her money (I’d thought the sale was the end of the day not playtime) - in that situation I would have expected the teacher to quietly give one of dd’s cakes back and ask me for the money later but no, dd watched her mates eat the cakes she’d made & decorated and was made to go without😞. Not the end of the world but mean, I thought.

Did they actually ask for cake? Did anyone know they hadn't had cake?

I think that it's mean. Our school definitely just let's kids without money have a cake. I know because I once forgot to send money in. According to the dc there's one lad who's family never sends in money, he still gets a cake!

If you're prone to forgetting, next time put a note on an A4 sheet right by the front door the night before. CAKE SALE! or whatever it is.
Always works for me.

OP I’ve forgotten stuff like this before now and while it’s a shame etc that young children miss out I wouldn’t have expected their friends or school to pitch in with the money, I remember once DS coming out of school a bit fed up when all his friends had cakes but he soon forgot about it.

It’s unpractical and unfair to have expected school to have paid.

Completely agree with PP who said the teacher can't be sure if you want them to have cake or not, I can imagine some parents kicking off that there child is not allowed sugar etc.

You know when they talk about building resilience? Well this is that - your child misses out and experiences a feeling of disappointment, you commiserate and acknowledge their feelings and then come up with a strategy for what to do next time. Then your child feels better. In fact if you never make a mistake that's not helping them learn real life skills.

Wasn't expecting the teacher to pay ....just to let him have a cake

have given the 2 (that's TWO) kids a cake grin

Just 2 in the whole school (how do you know this) or 2 in that class?

The problem with school subbing until the next day is what If you didn't give him money because you didn't want him having cake? Then school would be over stepping boundaries and taking away parental choice

Should this not read, I am a bad mum, I forgot to give my children any money to buy a cake.
Then I tried to blame the teachers ...

I now leave a couple of quid in his bag so no stress if we forget on the day It's a couple of quid so he can treat any pals whose parents have forgotten, as pals have lent him money when we forgot, prior to the emergency money system being devised.

The problem with teachers giving kids the cake is next time, a couple more kids know teachers gives them a cake without the money.. then a couple more... Some fundraising efforts are abysmal as many children forget money, some don't bother bringing it, the ones that don't have money,is it because they forgot or because parents don't want them to have one?

Chasing parents for payment / forgotten items is a massive waste of office time.

If it was my child she would have thought "oh, I don't have money i can't get cake" and been quiet about it.

I have served tuck at disco and would always give a child with not enough money something as would most I know. Also most teachers would sort it too.

The problem for my child is she would not have spoken up and she would have kept a happy face until she could tell me. So I don't know how anyone could help her. It would be unreasonable to expect the teacher to watch every child get a cake and fix any issues when already trying to supervise her class at a fun activity.

I just find it so difficult spinning all these plates and remembering what's happening when and on this occasion I forgot his 20 bloody p.

Cakes aside, what kind of system do you have? Parents these days are effectively PAs and have to have good software!