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Original poster

Talk me out of buying this house!

301 replies

RainbowMe · 21/05/2019 10:41

The husband and I have spent the last five years making our house a home, and we've just got it exactly how we want it. We decided the time was also right to start trying for a baby, and are currently in our second two week wait so far. All being well, the plan is for me to give up work and be a stay at home Mum for a good few years before going back to work and possibly thinking about buying a bigger house.

Everything was ticking along nicely, but then... a house came up for sale that I have dreamed of living in since I was a little girl! I told my husband expecting (hoping) that he would tell me not to be silly etc, but he is now more excited about it than I am Shock

There are many reasons we should not buy this house...

The biggest one is that it would add 80k into the mortgage. It would stretch us to the absolute limit of what we'd be allowed to borrow and would take the stay at home Mum idea completely off the table.

It has no central heating or mains sewage (storage heaters and a log burner; septic tank). I know these things wouldn't be a big deal to many people, but we'd have no money left to get the heating done and the septic tank would worry me (I am a huge worrier).

The house itself is no bigger or nicer than our current one (both smallish three bed houses of around 1000 square feet). Our house has useful things like a garage and a downstairs loo which this one doesn't.

But this one is in a really special location and is very unique for our area. The garden is like a park and there are no neighbours for about 2 miles in either direction (my absolute dream). It kind of feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity. I know there are other rural properties like it, but very few in my "patch". We already live in a very nice village down the road and I know we are very lucky to have what we've got, but it's not the peaceful rural life I dream of. I know this makes me sound like a spoilt brat and is a nice "first world problem" to have. But I just couldn't sleep last night thinking about this house, and now I can't concentrate on my work either Blush

Someone tell me to stop being silly!

OP posts:
Bessiebigpants · 21/05/2019 21:15

I'm currently living in my crazy dream house.Dodgy heating leaking roof filthy dusty and freezing in the winter. We have the spare cash to do all the jobs but, it's a killer with work and 3 children.However would I do it again absolutely With a baby probably not but I know I would be kicking myself if someone else was living here. Go and see it I walked into my wreak and knew I was home!Smile

whatisheupto · 21/05/2019 21:44

Even if you go back to work and put baby in childcare it doesn't sound like you'll have any earnings left over to go towards the increased mortgage. You say your salary is low..... and childcare is so high.
On the other hand, bear in mind you are better off applying for a bigger mortgage before you have children. Once you have to declare dependants as well, you will struggle to pass affordability checks based on what you've said.

crimsonlake · 21/05/2019 22:23

I cannot believe I have read 8 pages and still no link.

FIRSTTIMEMUMMA81 · 21/05/2019 22:30

Post link to the house?

hammeringinmyhead · 21/05/2019 22:41

Oh god. Having a baby is HARD. I would make life as easy as possible on yourself if TTC and this house will not do that. Land needs maintenance and mowing and if you're anything like me keeping a newborn warm but not too warm in winter is a source of anxiety in itself.

candycane222 · 21/05/2019 22:54

Freely confess to not having rtft but would say that we bought something a bit similar over 20 yrs ago when expecting dc1. It still isn't finished and the land geels more like a burden to me now, though it was nicer while we still believed we get on top of it all one day Grin

On a more serious note the house was cold and very damp, and took nant 10s of thousands to make properly warm and dry (roof, heting, floors etc) and we were mot able to fix it before dc1 developed (fortunately pretty mild and now mostly outgrown ) asthma - but I still feel badly about it.

PoohBearsHole · 21/05/2019 23:00

I did it pregnant and with a newborn.
Very rural
It is hard at times, I had moments of true misery.
But, 10 years in, I wouldn’t swap a second! I’m so happy here, love my shabby garden, have renovated when funds available and made do happily when not.
Not everyone is the same, and from your op it sounds like you and dh are willing to give it a go. You are basing all cons on something that hasn’t happened? Might not happen or could tomorrow! I took a chance and it was the right one. Literally only you will know if you really want this, not strangers on the internet 🙂

Honeyroar · 21/05/2019 23:25

Raffles way your friend really needs someone to investigate her septic tank, it sounds blocked up (or are they putting bleach and other no nos down?). We just got our tank emptied at £120 and it hadn't been emptied for about 8 years until then.

We also have no gas (have oil central heating and a log burner, which I adore) and our own water supply. We are over a mile from the nearest village and only have one close neighbour (wish we didn't!). I grew up in a similar type property. We loved having a huge garden/meadow to play in, had friends locally and got driven to play dates initially, then went on my bike or pony when older. I went through a period of hating where I lived in my mid teens, but realised how fab it was when older. My houses have always been ongoing projects or building sites both as a child and as an adult.

The only negative I see in your post is the stretching financially, particularly while Brexit is looming. But I'd go and have a look, you might not actually feel right in the house when you get in it!

NKFell · 22/05/2019 00:19

Well said @Honeyroar! There are too many townies on this thread Wink oh and I used to meet friends and go to nearest village by pony Grin my brother used to sing ‘we’re gonna party like it’s 1699’ Grin

I grew up very rurally on a farm and feel very lucky to have done so. I’m 30 now and remember the ice on the inside of the windows, the odd bat getting in my room in the summer Grin and I wouldn’t change a thing, I wish I could do the same now for my children although still live fairly rurally oh and my parents have never ever had a problem with their septic tank- learn the do’s and don’t’s and you can’t go wrong with them.

HiJenny35 · 22/05/2019 00:32

Nope, really think about it. Will you still love it when you have to go back to work and leave your baby? Yes loads of mums have to/choose to but you've already said you wouldn't want to. Yes it so once in a lifetime house but your children are only babies once. With my first I worked and massively regret it. With my second we changed things so that I could stay at home. I would have massively resented it if I'd made a choice that stopped me doing that.

PickAChew · 22/05/2019 00:42

In 10 years time, even with everything else perfect, you'd crave more space

OK, so not helpful now...

Shadow1234 · 22/05/2019 02:03

Does your husband have a secure job? (as asked up-thread). How would you cope if he was to lose his job? Have you accounted for interest rate rises? Council tax rises? Would you still be able to go on holiday, or would you be prepared to sacrifice a holiday if it came to it?

I seriously think you have to weigh up the pro's and cons involved, because there is a lot at stake here.

Monty27 · 22/05/2019 04:36

Shamelessly marking awaiting a link OP 😊

SecretWitch · 22/05/2019 05:27

Also awaiting link

I lived in a house with no central heating heating. Getting up in the mornings was a displeasure I hope to never cope with again.

twoheaped · 22/05/2019 05:33

We moved into a house like this.
We are fed by a spring, so had to press

twoheaped · 22/05/2019 05:40

Oops Blush
Had to install a pressurised system for the heating. That cost £15k.
Off grid, so no gas. We went oil, a 2,500 litre tank costs us about £1300 to fill, depending on oil prices. Over the year, we will fill the tank 3 or 4 times, depending on the severity of winter. We do light the coal fire, a tonne of coal costs us £260 and lasts a winter.

If we had stayed where we were, we'd be mortgage free with a large disposable income.
Instead, we have a mortgage and now have to save up to get jobs on the house done.
Do we regret it? No, not one bit.
We don't ever see ourselves leaving here, we love our little plot of rural idyll.

BlueBrushing · 22/05/2019 05:47

I don't understand, OP. Would you have free chilcare available? You mention that you would need to work to pay the mortgage, but your entire salary would go towards childcare, so how would you have enough to pay the mortgage? Unless you have free childcare, this is obviously not an option. Have you even costed this?!

tenredthings · 22/05/2019 05:48

There's a lot to be said for not having close neighbours. Could a child safely cycle to the village as otherwise you'll be forever driving them.

Original poster
RainbowMe · 22/05/2019 06:15

Morning all,

Thanks again for all these responses. It's really helped us weigh up all the positives and negatives. I've loved reading about some real experiences as well (NKFell, I would totally love to "party like it's 1699" lol!!).

We've decided it's unlikely we will go for it. The first big issue is the finances. Our outgoings would increase by 2-300 with the mortgage alone, and likely other bits on top. That would eat up nearly all of husband's remaining wages each month. There would be very little of my earnings left after childcare costs, which we never wanted to do anyway. The savings we've built up would be largely wiped out, and we've so carefully been putting it into pots for things like a new car which will be needed within the next couple of years.

Second problem is sacrificing being a stay at home Mum - it's something I've wanted so much, and what's the point in having the lovely property if I'm working all the time and can't enjoy / maintain it properly?

The third big problem is my anxiety. Part of the reason we've only just started TTC is because I've spent years trying to get on top of this, with limited success. I really wanted to feel more relaxed than I do before thinking about babies, but I've tried so hard and I think I am just an innately anxious person. I don't want to throw financial worries and a troublesome property into the mix! I think it would be terrible for my mental health.

I've always said I'd never buy a house that needs serious work as I'm not cut out for it. I'd never buy a "project" home. Everything we've done in our (modern) house is cosmetic, and I've even found that stressful. I think I've given the impression that this house is in a state which it isn't - it looks to be in lovely condition inside and out. The windows aren't old, the decor is lovely, bathroom and kitchen I would say done within the last couple of years. Floors look very nice (though of course this is all from carefully taken pics). It is just the heating that's the issue. But I appreciate that it's an older house and will probably have various problems that I wouldn't think of, having only ever lived in newer homes. And that land. I think I underestimated how much work something like that would be.

Having said all that..... we are going to book a viewing! This is almost entirely to rule it out (I know, I do feel bad for likely wasting people's time). But I just want to see it for myself. I'm going to go in with a mental checklist of "this is why it would be a mad idea". I need to do it so that I can stop obsessing and properly put the idea to bed :)

Once we've ruled it out then I might post the link!! Haha. Sorry for not doing it so far. As we've started TTC I will probably become a more regular poster on here, and I'm keen to remain anon!

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 22/05/2019 06:18

Link it and name change?

HogMother · 22/05/2019 06:29

Will you be competing against investors and builders who want to knock it down and build a few semi detached new builds? That’s the only reason the price may be so high.
We’re doing up a house from 60s, well looked after, but needed a rewrite and now all the walls have holes in. We have kids and it’s a nightmare. Love the house, but the dust looks so much thicker when you have a baby.

Rarfy · 22/05/2019 06:33

Didn't read the full thread just your first and last post OP and I think you are making the right decision based on your desire to be a stay at home mum.

I've always thought how wonderful it would be to be a stay at home mum but unfortunately not possible for me due to finances. I am currently on maternity leave now and the thought of going back to work and leaving dd in childcare is becoming quite consuming. Absolutely dreading it and not being able to take her to school and collect makes me feel unbelievably sad.

Poppyfields21 · 22/05/2019 06:46

I also think link and NC Grin

crimsonlake · 22/05/2019 10:10

Still no link, I am out.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 22/05/2019 11:17

I would be against it purely on being os far away from civilisation. ...I grew up with many pals with hippy parents living the dream of isolated living...
The bottom line? Their kids missed out massively. ...there was no public transport so yu either had to be permanent taxi or try and ensure your kid had to stay over til someone fancied driving over to collect them...I had four different pals in slightly different areas.....they loathed it...and 30 years on are still fed up that their parents didn't consider their needs as teenagers