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AIBU?

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Original poster

Talk me out of buying this house!

301 replies

RainbowMe · 21/05/2019 10:41

The husband and I have spent the last five years making our house a home, and we've just got it exactly how we want it. We decided the time was also right to start trying for a baby, and are currently in our second two week wait so far. All being well, the plan is for me to give up work and be a stay at home Mum for a good few years before going back to work and possibly thinking about buying a bigger house.

Everything was ticking along nicely, but then... a house came up for sale that I have dreamed of living in since I was a little girl! I told my husband expecting (hoping) that he would tell me not to be silly etc, but he is now more excited about it than I am Shock

There are many reasons we should not buy this house...

The biggest one is that it would add 80k into the mortgage. It would stretch us to the absolute limit of what we'd be allowed to borrow and would take the stay at home Mum idea completely off the table.

It has no central heating or mains sewage (storage heaters and a log burner; septic tank). I know these things wouldn't be a big deal to many people, but we'd have no money left to get the heating done and the septic tank would worry me (I am a huge worrier).

The house itself is no bigger or nicer than our current one (both smallish three bed houses of around 1000 square feet). Our house has useful things like a garage and a downstairs loo which this one doesn't.

But this one is in a really special location and is very unique for our area. The garden is like a park and there are no neighbours for about 2 miles in either direction (my absolute dream). It kind of feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity. I know there are other rural properties like it, but very few in my "patch". We already live in a very nice village down the road and I know we are very lucky to have what we've got, but it's not the peaceful rural life I dream of. I know this makes me sound like a spoilt brat and is a nice "first world problem" to have. But I just couldn't sleep last night thinking about this house, and now I can't concentrate on my work either Blush

Someone tell me to stop being silly!

OP posts:
HearMeSnore · 21/05/2019 15:19

If it was me, I wouldn't. But only because I have an only child who relies on nearby pals for company, and I'd hate for her to feel isolated growing up.

But if I had lots of kids I'd feel different and would love a place in the country with log burners and a big garden for them to run around in.

Also I never had the option of being a stay at home mum. If we could have managed it I'd have jumped at the chance.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 21/05/2019 16:14

I am in basically the same situation but choosing between 2 we want to buy.

After much soul searching I went with the “nice” house not the dream possibly expensive nightmare house

And I think Viques nailed it

Lets get it straight , the house is no larger than your current one, is a poorer layout, has poorer facilities that need expensive updating, there is no need for you to move due to work or other commitments, the mortgage would stretch you to the limit (not to mention survey,solicitors, moving costs) and buying the house would put paid to your dreams of the family life you envisaged.

In fact the only things you say in its favour is that the garden is like a park (good luck with keeping that in order ) and there are no neighbours for miles. (Great news if you have an emergency, the car won't start and there's snow on the ground) . I think you need better reasons for buying it than these.

This house will not meaningfully improve your life. It’s the same size, just costs more and will demand more time (Reno and garden)

Baskerville · 21/05/2019 16:31

I'd go for it, but as I would rather eat my own head than be a SAHM, your other 'fantasy' is incomprehensible to me, so no competition.

Amammi · 21/05/2019 16:36

How secure is your husbands job OP? Is Brexit likely to affect him?

Rafflesway · 21/05/2019 16:48

A relative of mine bought a lovely house in a pretty affluent S. E. village.

Their property has a septic tank but - for some strange reason - theirs has to be emptied every month at a cost of £179 each time. 😱

Also, I agree with pp's about your current property sounding ideal for starting your family. The "Dream house" sounds very isolated and I would be worried about security. (Years ago, a similar house close to us but with no neighbours around a mile either side was raided early hours. The DH was stabbed but survived. However, wife was raped and badly beaten. No neighbours to hear/see a thing and this was a very respectable area 😥.). Finally, your DC could hugely resent being away from friends in later years. The extra mortgage payment and years of renovations will create unnecessary stress over and above the normal worries new parentage brings.

Sounds idyllic, I agree, but my ultra pragmatic head would say no.

helpmum2003 · 21/05/2019 17:11

Based on my experience of having a house with a very large garden I would say no - if you need to work to pay the mortgage then you'll need help in the garden as well as contributing a lot of time yourselves. Big gardens are expensive.

Then there's the money to be spent on the house.....

Our house was actually in a village and as the kids become teenagers the lack of independence became an issue. Your potential situation is worse.

We never had any problems with our septic tank.

Having moved the reduction in time and financial commitments is fab. Feel a bit regretful that it impinged on my time with the kids...

cakesandphotos · 21/05/2019 18:09

I would do it I think. You might not get the chance again. Please put on the link, I'd love to see it!

knitpicker · 21/05/2019 18:15

Make an offer which takes into account cost of central heating

OnePotMeal · 21/05/2019 18:33

Oh, OP, you've got to go and see it at least! Childhood dream!!!

But, oh dear, what a lot of dismal sensible people on the thread. Sad

MumUndone · 21/05/2019 19:35

Link! Link! Link!

MaudBaileysGreenTurban · 21/05/2019 19:52

FGS post a link OP Wink

Chimpd0g · 21/05/2019 19:53

so much easier to answer if we can see it Wink
Grew up with a septic tank, it was a bit of a nightmare but I'm sure things have moved on since then

BBInGinDrinking · 21/05/2019 19:56

I'd also love to see it, but would I post a link if this was my thread? Probably not!

Oakmaiden · 21/05/2019 20:10

Hmm. For me it would make a difference if it was a home I could see myself living in forever, or if I would need to move to something bigger in a few years.

3in4years · 21/05/2019 20:17

Your incomes and savings are similar to ours before we bought this year. I'm not sure what mortgage you are getting but I would say don't stretch yourself to no savings. Running the new house may cost more each month and you may have to live on less after mat leave/ part time work/ childcare costs.

Baskerville · 21/05/2019 20:25

Loving your name, MaudBaileysGreenTurban. You’re way too good for meek, wet Roland, though.

floraloctopus · 21/05/2019 20:35

No matter how beautiful it is, I wouldn't buy a house without central heating.

TrixieFranklin · 21/05/2019 20:37

I wanna see Grin

Excited101 · 21/05/2019 20:45

I think it’s an insane idea... in a wtf rather than fun way

Skyejuly · 21/05/2019 20:46

Link!!

ralphfromlordoftheflies · 21/05/2019 20:52

I'm surprised that so many people are saying don't do it. I bought a house with far worse problems on my own with a newborn and it was fine. One room/job got done at a time. A large garden might be a chore to one person, but a joy to others. It's a house you've dreamed of living in and you and your husband both like it, won't you kick yourself if you don't at least view it?

MaudBaileysGreenTurban · 21/05/2019 20:58

Haha, thanks Baskerville...poor Roland Grin

IceRebel · 21/05/2019 21:04

I'm surprised that so many people are saying don't do it.

I can't see why so many are saying go for it.

The dream house sounds like a money pit, it will leave them with a much bigger mortgage and they will spend even more years renovating, after having just come out the other side of 5 years of this. Also and most crucially, they will still be looking for a bigger house in a few years time. Because at the end of the day it's the same size as their actual house, and the current house isn't big enough.

Dirtyjellycat · 21/05/2019 21:07

7 pages in and no link? YABVVVU.

We need to see the property to make an informed response Wink

Mycatwontstopstaring · 21/05/2019 21:10

It’s just a house. If buying it means that you don’t get to be a stay at home mum, you will hate that house every time your child cries at nursery drop off.

(Not saying anything wrong with working mums etc etc just saying I think she’d regret the decision)