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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to want to be forced into sorting out who's going where for CHRISTMAS at the beginning of July?

52 replies

Birdly · 20/07/2007 07:31

Surely I'm not the only one who doesn't want to get embroiled in this until, ooh, November at the earliest.

OP posts:
harpsichordcuddler · 20/07/2007 07:32

hahaha lol.
no we haven't had this conversation yet but ime September is the appropriate time

dazedorconfused · 20/07/2007 07:32

I don't want to but MIL needs to be out foxed so I can see we will need to start planning soon that she doesn't come here - even though we'll make it look like we wanted her to!!

WideWebWitch · 20/07/2007 07:35

We never go anywhere, we stay at home, just the four of us and it's lovely.

BandofMuggles · 20/07/2007 07:37

DorC how do you manage that then???

dazedorconfused · 20/07/2007 07:42

BofM - well I couldn't claim to be an expert, I've managed 2 successes but one failure! Hoping though this could be my third successful year!

BandofMuggles · 20/07/2007 07:46

Don't think you could get away with it every year.
After fiasco of 2006 Boxing Day, DH is going to have to pull out the stops to get me there this year. Thankfully she didn't ruin my actual Christmas day.

dazedorconfused · 20/07/2007 07:53

I have to say I am feeling apprehensive about this year - hence early start (sorry Birdly!). SIL has outstepped us already by announcing they will be abroad for Christmas!
To make you feel better Bridly - MIL may only be contacted in Nov re: plans!

slinkyjo · 20/07/2007 07:58

omg i havent eventhought about xmas yet lol NO your not being unreasonable at all

agalch · 20/07/2007 08:04

Well because i am the one who always has my parents and db and his gf and their 6 children i will be checking with them fairly soon as to whether or not they are gracing me with their presence again this time.

Have to put in turkey order fairly soon cos i like to make sure i get a good un from my local turkey man.

Realise it must be a pain but i need to know.Nobody brings a thing either so if db is bringing all his kids/or none i budget accordingly.

beansprout · 20/07/2007 08:07

Unless there is a reason such as budget or overseas travel arrangements, I really can't see why anyone would need to start talking about this now!

Original poster
Birdly · 20/07/2007 08:08

DoC - we've been outmanoeuvred already, it seems, so I don't blame you!

WWW - !

OP posts:
kslatts · 20/07/2007 08:15

Unless you are booking to go away at christmas, then I don't think you need to start thinking about it until at least October. YANBU.

Budababe · 20/07/2007 08:15

Well I need to as need to book flights but can't decide what to do.

DH wants all my family to come here - we have biggest house - can put everyone up, etc etc. But it means them all flying here and one sis not keen as will have 3 yr old plus 4 mth old, one sis is bi-polar and holidays and xmas seem to be triggers for her and final sis has fiance with child from previous relationship that he wants to see at xmas obv.

So we will end up going to Dublin again probably but that stresses my parents out as then everyone comes to them for Xmas day. Last year it was all NEARLY great but bi-polar sis insisted on being involved and bringing a dessert and a potato dish and then had an episode cos she got stressed so they were late and we Dad and DH had everything timed.

Am thinking of us renting a house for a week and hosting Xmas day but DH is not keen.

Was afraid to bring subject up with my Mum as she stresses so much but doesn't actually do anything!

Bah humbug already and I usually love Xmas!

amidaiwish · 20/07/2007 09:10

ooooooooooo nooooooooooo i can't bear to think about it already

here is what usually happens

DH's entire family come here on christmas eve (2 sis, 1 bro, all with dp and 2 or 3 children each) and i do a big roast dinner for everyone

then we have to kick them out in the evening so we can clear up/pack up and get over to my parents house in time for midnight mass and stay there until boxing day. total exhaustion nightmare.

how am i going to get out of this this year? it is all TOO MUCH. getting stressed even thinking about it.

amidaiwish · 20/07/2007 09:10

plus MIL too of course, but i have to say she is fab and v relaxed/easy to have around.

LilRedWG · 20/07/2007 09:15

LOL - I slipped into a conversation with DH last week that, this year I don't want to go visiting everyone on Christmas Day. We see both families on Boxing Day and IMO that's plenty, but DH likes to visit family and I know MIL will want us there for Christmas lunch.

I like being at home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to take DD to church in the morning and then have lunch and lots of wine.

HappyMummyOfOne · 20/07/2007 09:17

We dont go anywhere either and never have done despite MIL asking us over every year. We tell her she is quite welcome to come over and see DS for as long as she wants but he should be home xmas day to play and relax and enjoy christmas.

Even though she doesnt stay for dinner, she is good though and usually brings turkey and her fab stufffing so that all I have to worry about is the veg. I tend to make a cake or dessert with DS on xmas eve and she takes it back with her.

I'm sure come September she'll issue the usual invite but think she would be schocked if we took her up on it lol.

katz · 20/07/2007 09:21

i guess this isn't the thread to say that we planned christmas 07 in july 06!!

Filchymindedvixen · 20/07/2007 09:23

sigh, do we have the same family...? My sister wants us all to go to hers - which will be fab, but I do not feel like talking about christmas in bloody Junbe which is when she starting hassling us.

Weasleybug · 20/07/2007 09:25

I have already had my first conversation about it but it was a 'our house should be finished by christmas which is sort of a shame as then we don't have an excuse NOT to host christmas'.

We do tend to start having to plan early though due to trying to keep lots of people happy. I am planning this one early this year with a view to thinking if we plan this one right then NEXT year (yes, 2009) we can stay at home and not see anyone !

Ulysees · 20/07/2007 09:25

no not being unreasonable IMO.
I have had a conversation with exdh about this but only because we need to sort out where the boys will be? I'd be ok with him coming here though as we get on ok

Weasleybug · 20/07/2007 09:26

dur sorry that should say 2008

lissie · 20/07/2007 09:42

we decided on the 27th dec that we would spend xmas at home! last year was a nightmare. ds didnt get to play with any of his toys coz we were dashing around, they're adults, they can come to us ffs!

CrookshanksWhiskers · 20/07/2007 10:08

My dh usually moans if anyone mentions xmas before 1st December (yeah - bah humbug - lol) but he learned his lesson last year when poor ds got whipped into hospital with bronchialitis on 22nd December (he was just 6 weeks old poor love). We still had some presents to buy, all the presents to wrap (as well as the paper to buy first) and all the food to buy when ds & I got back out at lunchtime on xmas eve.

It was a very makeshift xmas but we managed it (dh even cooked xmas lunch as I was still frazzled after 2 days in hospital watching ds have horrible but necessary things done to him). I think we were all so glad to be spending it at home with a much improved ds & his then 21mo sis that we'd have been happy with beans on toast. As it was dh even managed a turkey crown!

I've already informed dh that all gifts will now be bought & wrapped by 1st December & my food order will be with M&S as soon as they'll accept it - I'm taking no chances this year.

andiem · 20/07/2007 10:17

my advice go away or stay in your house we have this every year with in laws about who goes where and frankly I have had enough. Last year we went away and it was fab my mum doesn't mind what we do but there are sulks tantrums etc from mil
I feel my ds needs to be either at home or on holiday as a family with noone else