Coffee shops

[Kingoftheroad]

What do you expect from a good quality coffee shop?

I was having a discussion with a friend who owns a small chain of independent coffee shops. I mentioned that I’m not keen on having people queue up behind me for take away food whilst I’m enjoying either a peaceful few minutes to myself or chatting with a friend etc.

What, in your opinion makes for the ideal coffee shop?

Honestly I’d like a non-busy shop that can do table service. So preferably they’ll only do take away if you bring your own cup.

Decent selection of teas - Leaf in Liverpool is fab for this. I like chai but not chai latte which is a spiced syrup and horrible.

A couple of different coffees would be nice, and staff that are interested and can explain the differences - just ‘this one’s from Peru and is stronger than the Guatemalan one’.

Comfortable chairs. Not necessarily armchairs. Clean toilets.

No cats. Can’t think of anything worse than animals in a food and drink establishment.

It’s my dream to run a hip little coffee shop in Camden and live round the corner in a lovely town house. I’m about £3million away from that ever happening though

My number one annoyance about coffee shops, which none of them seem to care about, is doing some acoustic work, especially in places with all wooden tables, chairs, and floors, as most of them are! By the time their crappy overly loud music is playing, the coffee machine is grinding, the milk steamer is going, cups clattering, and knives are getting dropped on the floor, all echoing throughout the whole place off all the hard surfaces, I can't stand it!

No loud music. Tables not packed together. Clean - a lot seem to have food crumbs all over floor and chairs.
Staff who listen - so many times I order a coffee and it's wrong

Space. A variety of table sizes. Decent cake at less than £3 a slice. Prices clearly marked so I don’t end up spending almost £8 on two slices of cake because there were no prices anywhere and was too awkward to ask for them to put them back. A good variety of drinks. Proper chai tea from tea bags rather than that syrup that just tastes like fish to me... (can you tell I’ve had a bad cafe experience recently?)

Service that isn't slow as molasses.

Veggie food that is displayed and cooked separately so there's no cross contamination. Veggie food should not be touching fish or meat.

Clear signs to indicate allergens and if veggie or vegan.

Cleanliness. Tables often have a film over them and are sticky despite being wiped. Not spraying cleaning stuff. I was sprayed in the face by someone cleaning a table a few weeks back. I have asthma but even if I didn't I don't want chemicals sprayed near me or my food and drink.

Clean highchairs. They often have food mashed into them and broken straps.

Space between tables so if you have a buggy it's not going to be in anyone's way. And so you can't hear everyone else's conversations.

Decent toilets with soap and effective driers.

Skimmed milk. So many places don't have it and I can't stand semi or full fat.

A choice of veggie children's food.

Friendly staff, I always go to my local Nero because they are so, so lovely in there. For example, when DS was small they would tell me to go sit down and they'll bring me my drink and I could pay as I left.

Comfortable seats! So sick of perching on foldable garden chairs with slats, or even worse, those hipster school chairs from the 1960s.

And decent decaf coffee for pregnant / breastfeeding mums or anyone else who wants to or is forced to drink the stuff.

A choice of coffee, and I don't mean americano, latte etc, I mean from different countries and different roasts.

Decent coffee( not burnt-and for staff to know if their coffee is strong or mild if I ask), and proper, not dishwasher pale, tea for DH.

Real cake which is not the price of a whole cake for an inch we are slice of dried rubber.

Fresh baguettes/ panini would be great it interesting fillings.

Buggy parking would be good but I realise that makes cost efficiency a problem.

Not huge sharing tables

Clean loos with a baby change.

No tables inundated with people using eternal free WiFi on one cup of tea three hours later when DH And I have bought lunch and drinks and want a quick sit down. This is my biggest pet hate. A time limit on Wi-Fi usage at busy times.

Decent coffee at a reasonable price would be a start.
Overpriced, overhyped shite for the most of them.

@Aimadre you can drink regular coffee when pregnant or bf. Unless of course you have a multiple cup a day habit I seem to remember it was 90mg caffeine a day or one strong coffee/3 teas/ one small bottle Mountain Dew I might have got the caffeine rise wrong there but it equates to the 1 cup/3 cups/1 bottle. I always read in American books how pregnant women can't have caffeine so maybe it's more of s thing outside the UK? I always go off coffee when pregnant though and after dc3 I've stayed off it. Don't deprive yourself unnecessarily!

For me it's all about atmosphere. I don't like it if it's too quiet. I like music in the background. I also like windows and a bit of character. Not just everything plain white with plain tables. I like to relax and enjoy my surroundings when I treat myself

clean shop, clean nice toilets
home made cakes/ food (choice of sweet and savoury)
not to ram jammed
nice staff

Decent cup of (Yorkshire) tea with proper semi skimmed milk - no UHT or skimmed shite.

No poncey real leaf tea diffusing things.

No leaky tea pots.

A China cup is nicer for tea but a mug will suffice. No massive big coffee cups please as the tea goes cold too quickly in them. You need different cups for coffee and tea imho.

Make sure your hot chocolate is properly hot, not lukewarm and too frothy.

I don’t like coffee so have nothing to say about that.

Oooh yes if you're doing coffee refills then you really should offer that to tea-drinkers too. At least hot water refills - they can reuse their bag/leaves if they will. It's such a bummer when cafes offer 1 free coffee refills but don't do the same for tea (common here).

Now I want to know what the problem is with (poncy) infusers Puppy :D

No kids

Decent seats that are the right size for the tables they are being used for. I am so tired of independent cafes trying to be cool with their mismatched, reclaimed chairs. They are rickety, uncomfortable, and half the time you can’t actually properly pull them up to the table.

Stools can also do one. Uncomfortable fuckers.

My requirements are minimal - large quantities, nice lattes, not rammed to the rafters with every local childminder letting their charges run riot. And loyalty points I can save for an emergency fix when skint. Take out cups that have lids that stay on would be good too - none of those stupid off-centre cup and saucer design statements Costa have which wind me up and make carrying stuff more annoying factoring in the whole artistically arranged off-centre cup on saucer thing. And if it's got busy and there are no seats - evict the prat on the Macbook (it's always a Macbook and usually a hipster beard) who's been there since 9.01 am with the same cup of coffee he's kept 1mm liquid in to keep dibsing his table.

I don't do coffee shop elitism really.

I’ve thought of more!
Functioning locks on the toilet doors
If family friendly then a baby change unit, even just one of those fold down ones on the wall of the toilet stall

Also don’t advertise your cafe as dog friendly but have coffee-table height tables! People’s dogs WILL steal food off the tables and usually the kind of people who don’t train their dogs not to steal people’s food are also the same people who stand there saying ‘oh dear’ and vaguely calling the dogs name or telling you it’s fine and they’re friendly without making any physical effort to move the dog away or stop it from licking your cake...

Not allowing all their tables to be taken up with people "working" ot having very loud meetings.

I go in for a bit of peace and a coffee.Not to listen to Mergers and touching base crap.

Chairs that are an appropriate height for the table. Good fresh baked goods not defrosted cake and stale pastries.
No one being a wanker over how people take their coffee.

Pet hate - pastries and food on an open counter for everyone to cough and sneeze over whilst queuing. I want food that is germ free, so please put it behind or under a cover.

I used to visit a fantastic small coffee shop for coffee, but never ate there as the uncovered food counter was so full that your arms would brush against the food display whilst queuing, and breathe all over it.

Also some stylish modern coffee shops have terrible acoustics, all hard surfaces and loud noises so headache inducing.