AIBU to think I need to carry some kind of health warning with me at all times? (Lighthearted)

[Aberforthsgoat]

I am six weeks pregnant and OH MY GOD THE GAS.
I’ve never experienced anything like it, I’m like a walking noxious, toxic waste plant or something.
It’s frequent and horrendous and mortifying and it doesn’t seem to matter what I eat - NOTHING MAKES ANY DIFFERENCE.
Luckily I get to work from home a lot of the time but even I’m appalled by my own stench.

Aside from shoving a scented candle up my backside, any suggestions would be gladly welcomed. Attacking pot pourri to my clothes perhaps, dry petal by dry petal?

Please reassure me this doesn’t last the whole time?

You could get those pants that have a mint-scented charcoal layer in them?

Is there anyone you particularly don't like? You could get silent but deadly revenge.

Mint farty pants... you learn something new everyday! 😂

www.myshreddies.com/ These are just charcoal I think, but I'm sure I've seen mint-scented ones somewhere...

bloody love Mumsnet

Mint farty pants indeed - if anyone had told me I was going to be thrilled to find such an invention, I would never have believed them. @DanielRicciardosSmile thank you for sharing this wisdom, I am more than a little intrigued.

@blackeyedgruesome I salute you. Now I just need to plot how to get them alone in a lift. Wouldn’t want to accidentally take out any innocents

Peppermint tea worked wonders on my pregnancy gas.

But I'm now thinking of searching the internet for minty charcoal pants....

I’ve just got out of bed to make a peppermint tea @orangehandtowel seeing as I don’t have any minty fart pants to hand right now.
I’m very interested in them but wow are they eye wateringly expensive. But then, what price do I put on the power to contain these fumes?

Charcoal tablets work really well, but not sure if you can use them during pregnancy.

I will
Investigate @cheshirecat thank you

I really cannot believe I can create such horrendous smells.

There's a type of charcoal tablets that's even safe for dogs

Oh my. You know it’s bad when your own brew knocks you out!

I say open a window, strike a match and keep your head high and your arse proud.

But be careful where you aim that match - don't want you going up like a WMD!

Pleased to report I survived the night and didn’t set anything on fire. Bedroom definitely needs fumigating though.
Today I shall be guzzling peppermint tea and researching charcoal products!