To report this man trying to kiss me at the bus stop

[frangipanny]

I'm 35, waiting at the bus stop when a young man comes along and asks me about bus times, get into a conversation and I say I'm going home as I have 2 kids and he says he is an actor, he starts showing me his insta as my bus arrives, I say goodbye and he gets me in a kind of headlock and "kisses" me. I'm like "get the fuck off me" and run to get on the bus. Presumably there will be cctv. Naively I thought I was too old for this fucking shit.

Don’t have second thoughts OP. You’re doing the right thing. He assaulted you! If he had punched you in the face would you be having second thoughts?

This behaviour often escalates if it hasn’t done already. They need to find this guy and get him away from any more potential victims.

Did you get the feeling he was weird before this happened

Not really! Thought he just seemed like an arrogant young man tbh! Boasting about how much he earns as an actor etc

That’s horrible you are right to report it - it’s a sexual assault and he is abnormal. If he thinks it’s ok to do that to a stranger in the street goodness knows what else he thinks is ok.

You are absolutely right to report - this is intimidating, harassing behaviour and could escalate if the bus hadn't arrived or if nobody had seen you etc.

Well done it sounds like you're coping with a nasty situation well

Sorry what happened OP definitely report it x

I'd a similar situation and it really did leave me shaken. It's hard to articulate exactly why it's so unpleasant.In my case I dropped off an item with a customers father and he insisted on making me tea etc.When I was leaving he decided he needed a kiss and was really forceful. I could quite honestly have beaten the living daylights out of him as he's quite frail and has agraphobia so can't leave the house but I escaped that house with my knees knocking and feeling faint.You've done the right thing and I hope the police can pursue it.

@EleanorReally

Did you get the feeling he was weird before this happened?

Irrelevant victim blaming.

🙄

Sorry that happened to you op

You were right to report it. The fact that you question yourself shows just how used to this shit we are and just how often it happens.

Fuck that shit

Good luck

Well done for reporting him OP, I hope the police can identify him from CCTV.

Who the hell do some men think they are?

I got followed in town by someone who didn’t approach me but moved from shop to shop with me and finally hissed insults in passing. I went to the police station and sure enough, he’d got previous and they knew who I was talking about from my description. So we’ll worth alerting the police and well done for getting away from him.

You were right to report it. The fact that you question yourself shows just how used to this shit we are and just how often it happens

Sums it up perfectly.

Hold on. I thought we clarified in a different thread that trying to kiss someone was not assault?

I haven't "clarified" anything

Trying to kiss someone is most definitely assault, especially if the person doing it gets the other in a headlock to do it.

I dont know what's on the other thread but I think getting a stranger in a headlock and trying to force unwanted contact on them sounds like assault.

And according to victim support website:

'If someone intentionally grabs or touches you in a sexual way that you don't like, or you’re forced to kiss someone or do something else sexual against your will, that’s sexual assault.'

Well anything that requires restraint in order to do it is clearly not consensual...

I suppose the thread title is misleading. He grabbed me and kissed me while I was trying to push him away.

Thanks all for your supportive messages, I wonder now if he was trying to stop me getting on the bus, which is scary.

What he did is sexual assault. Definitely make a statement to police so he is charged if caught.

please do go and report. Hopefully they’ll have CCTV and will be able to catch him.

Can you take someone along to the station with you, for support.

Sorry that happened to you @Streamside , I felt like that afterwards too, I was like "what the fuck just happened"

my question was not victim blaming.
my message was deleted because i swore - how boring

It all happens so quickly doesn't it?! You really don't ever no how you'll react until it happens and your fight or flight kicks in (or not) - you did really well and doing the right thing for others by reporting x