AIBU about ham, or is DH

[Blackswing12]

Our marriage is very troubled at the moment, new baby, sleep deprived, yada yada.

We've been having a lot of arguments lately, some the same old stuff, some new old stuff I can deal with, new stuff is hard, as it involves my family. In particular my dad, who is extremely annoying and needy, finding himself dumped by his partner and post surgery, so been spending more time with him lately, a few issues has cropped up with DH about this but have kind of dealt with it.

Now, back to the ham

Today, DH text me while he was at work and I was looking after DD1 and DD2 asking if I was going to Aldi over weekend,can I get him some ham trim,mayo, apples and "Best of both" bread.

I go to Aldi as I need to pick up a few bits for my dad who is unable to go shopping g at the moment,picked up a few bits for our upcoming holiday, then picked-up the bits DH wanted.

Just sat down after getting DDs to bed and this is the conversation:

DH "did u look at that ham when you bought it?" (I'm sensing a tone here too)

Me "yeh why, is it out of date?"

DH "it's not ham trimmings (it is) it's six thick pieces of ham, it's inedible,unusable why didn't you look at it when you bought it"

Me "are you for real? I had both squirming DDs in the trolley and your having a go for not looking at the ham?"

DH "I've now got to go out tomorrow and get ham and I didn't want to just because you couldn't be arsed to look at it"

We are now not talking!?
A bit stunned to be honest.

AIBu to not check a pack of ham trim before putting it in the trolley? Ham trim does come in all different shapes and sizes to be fair but come on?!

It's quite clearly not about ham is it ?

The relationship is obviously struggling, I think maybe a bigger conversations needs to be had.

In relation to the ham, I am very fussy about ham (and other foods) and would get frustrated if my DH kept getting my request wrong, but in this situation he needs to get over it, it's bloody ham trimmings for god sake, just get the scissors and cut it up.

Playing devil's advocate, I suppose the point is he wanted the shaved-thin slices of ham trim; if OP has bought some thick slices of ham, then unless they've got a bacon slicer at home, there's no way of making the thick slices into thin ones (which some PPs have suggested doing).

That all said, thick slices of ham are not inedible and he is behaving like a toddler. He wanted thin sliced ham sandwiches and he's going to have to make do with thick sliced ham sandwiches - tell him, tough titty.

If the trimmings are as in the picture above then they look like shite ‘formed’ ham and you did him a favour not buying it 🤢

Too thin, too thick, not big enough, look like pigs arse etc

Thanks !🤣

So op. To clarify you didn't buy the wrong ham. But you bought this ham trim thing, and in it was thick slices, not bits pigs arse and his issue is the shape is wrong? So you didn't dig through the packs looking for what is the right shape?

Bluntness100 that's exactly his point,that I didn't dig around to get the shape right

Then he can definitely fuck off.

Does he usually behave like a toddler?

Well we have had "leave my house now" type arguments over the washing up, but never over pig products. YANBU

cutted up ham

this is basically the cutted up pear thread, but with a man-toddler

Blimey. That's proper dickish behaviour, has to be said.

He’d rather the floor scrapings than the decent stuff?
The sliced ham is inedible compared to his usual assortment of sloppy sweepings is it?

There’s no accounting for taste is there?
Bleurgh.

I was going to say it sounds like he’s feeling the kick of no longer being number 1 in your life, some men can really feel abandoned when a baby comes along, but then I realised this is DC2, he should be used to not being the centre of your universe by now! You’d have hoped he’d have grown up a bit.

Though I suppose if you’re running around after your Dad as well, he might be feeling like what he asks for just doesn’t matter?

I don’t really get why he’s going acing such a big stomp though? If it’s thick but small bits it’s probably too difficult to make it thin, but the world isn’t going to end if he has thick ham in his butties. If it really doesn’t appeal could he not just have marmite or something and use the ham in another way (like pasta).

You posted about a lot of things so I suspect you think this is part of the bigger picture that desperately needs sorting out.

You need to talk. Maybe not tonight though.

He can enjoy digging around to get the right shape ham for evermore now. You are not in anyway being unreasonable, OP, your husband is and being extremely childish as well.

See I read this as you'd bought (the much nicer) thick slices of ham when he wanted trimmings, but actually he is annoyed because you did buy trimmings but didn't root through the packs of trimmings for one that had the right size 'bits'. Even if he had told you exactly what sort of bits he wanted it wasn't guaranteed they would be there, nor is it reasonable to expect you to search for one in a pile when shopping with your DC and DF. He's a dickhead in short.

Its ham. Better than he wanted. If he doesn't like it he can go buy his own.. let him take the kids at the same time,
Tell him to go & find a life
Dick

Processed meat and red meat is generally bad for our health but that's not a reason for marital breakdown! Your hubby is being a twat lol

How positively Dickensian with your ham trim!

My DH used to complain about the way I washed his shirts. He had a particular way he wanted them placed in the machine. He wanted them hung on a particular hanger and buttoned in a particular way. He now washes his own shirts.
Tell him to pick up his own ham.

Really, I thought you has bought completely different ham. So get expected you to search for the correct shape ham !!! jog on !!!!!

Absolutely never, ever going to happen... Do you normally search for correctly shaped cutting of crap ham for him ?

Pictish "The sliced ham is inedible compared to his usual assortment of sloppy sweepings is it?"

It's not sloppy sweepings, it's just thrbiff cuts from the same ham, all the stuff that was a funny shape, it didn't slice properly etc. It's great!

OP, your DH can just go out and get his own ham.make sure he takes both kids with him though.

Get him some billy bear ham, to suit his mood (ie, stroppy toddler)

I love Aldi ham trim - but as long as you didn’t substitute for water think ham - your dh is an arse

i bought some ham from the reduced in tesco and pleased with my bargain thought i might have a slice before I put it in the fridge

it was in a white deli bag with the label sealing the bag, and then when I opened it I realised it was not a few slices, but was just the end of a big bit of ham....lazy fuckers hadn't even sliced it

anyway, i made a coffee and sat down and ate my solid wodge of ham like a big pink lollipop. YUM!

I've lost count of the times that my DH has done favours for me like this and not quite got the right thing. One example is coffee flavoured ice cream when the shop didn't have the strawberry cheesecake I really wanted. Inwardly I was like (who buys COFFEE ice cream of all the other flavour options there would have been?????) but I know that he tried his best so I didn't make a deal of it.

With or without wriggling DD's YANBU.

Well that was weird. I'm afraid I'd have punched him in the balls and considered leaving him. A man who is this fussy about the shape of his ham does not deserve a wife, or indeed, ham.

This thread has made me put ham trim on the list for the next time I go to Aldi. I hadn't noticed it before and it sounds quite good and great for pasta, wraps etc.

So what if it isn't the 'right' shape, it sounds like a good way to get naice ham for the cost of crappy ham.

I've just finished off some slightly crappy sliced ham from tesco, and as it wasn't great, I chopped it up and mixed it with grated cheese, onion and mayonnaise and used it that way rather than just in slices.

Your DH sounds like a twat BTW.