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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel disgusted with myself :(

108 replies

WinterfellPrincess · 18/05/2019 19:21

I've been vegetarian for 10 years. Partly for moral reasons, partly because I don't like the thought of eating meat - the thought always made me feel nauseous. But it's a personal choice, I don't judge others for what they chose to eat.

I went to an East Asian restaurant, and ordered a vegetarian dish. The dishes were not in English. The dishes arrived, and the waiter gave me what I thought was mine. It looked like it was, lots of vegetables etc.

I ate quite a bit of it, until I realised there was meat in it - it were prawns underneath the vegetables. I realised they had given me the wrong one. The worst thing is I'm pretty sure I ate chicken, as the veggie dish was supposed to have tofu in it, and I thought that's what it was. I don't remember what meat tastes like.

I feel awful - the worst thing is, someone at the dinner party made a huge deal about it and brought it to everyone's attention.

I've barely been able to eat since, and I feel a fraud to call myself a vegetarian. Some of the vegetarians at the table definitely judge me for not realising, saying 'I would have definitely realised if it were me'. I want to cleanse my whole body somehow, I tried to make myself vomit but failed.

I feel stupid and disgusted with myself for not realising.

OP posts:
Thetruthwillout80 · 18/05/2019 20:18

Your friends sound really pompous, and are more than likely contributing to you feeling ashamed/ill. It's not a game of who can be the most vegetarian. These things happen. That's life. Your intent wasn't to eat meat. Focus on that.

I've been a veggie for almost 30 years. I can guarantee you that I've unwittingly eaten meat, especially in the days that I was a huge drinker.

Your friends have tried to shame you, and it's worked.

Crazycat16 · 18/05/2019 20:21

Flowers I totally understand your disgust.

I once ordered a veggie meal and half way through was in a panic and made everyone on my table look at my plates &check what I was eating before dragging the waiter over-turns out they were ‘meaty’ looking mushrooms they had used but I was distraught & I hadn’t even eaten meat! Op your friends shouldn’t be judging you- they are awful for doing so, it’s not like you went off to order a mchamburger ffs.
However, it was accidental so please stop beating yourself up. Draw a line under the incident-write and complain to the restaurant if it helps- but, end the disgust and guilt TONIGHT.
Get all your feelings out tonight and tomorrow go on with your life knowing you do your best day to Day.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 18/05/2019 20:22

Don't be so hard on yourself.
You can't even call it a blameless mistake. If you didn't know.

ManchesterBorn · 18/05/2019 20:24

'I would have definitely realised if it were me'

bollocks! Badly cooked cheap chicken taste of nothing. It was an honest mistake, move on. Your friends are idiot.

The veg you eat have caused lots of animals to be killed by machines in the fields, that doesn't seem to bother many people. Little mice mangled in a harvester is quite a grim sight, and no one cares. So your idiotic friends might as well be eating them for all they good they do to these animals.

IcelandicYoghurt · 18/05/2019 20:24

I went to a restaurant recently with my mum, who has been vegan for about 40 years, me and my dad who are veggie, and my meat eating DP. We were given a starter af fancy bread which the waiter said had sun dried tomato in it...after trying it DP was a bit Hmm and said it tasted like chorizo, but the waiter avian assured us it was tomato. It wasn't until I found a but chunk with obvious bits of fat in it that we asked him to check with the kitchen and found out Shock. My mum especially was very very pissed off as you can imagine. (She ended up writing to them and they agreed to give staff extra training and gave us a a free meal). My point is that it happens to everyone. It's grim but it's not your fault and it doesn't make you in any way "not a vegetarian". Flowers

cocodash · 18/05/2019 20:31

But... Did you die???

slashlover · 18/05/2019 20:37

I understand OP, I've been veggie for over 25 years and the thought of eating meat makes me feel sick HOWEVER you didn't know. It wasn't a deliberate act on your part.

The other veggies are the table are dicks to judge you. It's all well for them to say they would have known but there's no way to tell is there? From the other POV, I've lost count of the people who have caught me eating a Beef and Tomato Pot Noodle and been shocked to learn that it's actually veggie.

BlueMerchant · 18/05/2019 20:46

It's done now. Forget about it. It's not worth your time worrying and I really wouldn't give two hoots what the prats at the table thought. Whoopee Doo you had a bit of chicken and saw a prawn.
I really wish this was the type of thing I had time to sit and overthink.

ManchesterBorn · 18/05/2019 20:53

eating a Beef and Tomato Pot Noodle and been shocked to learn that it's actually veggie.

that in itself should put you off! Even if they use free range eggs, which is not a given.

Icklepup · 18/05/2019 21:00

A lot of vegetarians started life eating meat, it's not like you can't be vegetarian because you've eaten meat accidentally.

bloatedbird · 18/05/2019 21:02

@SoCallMeMaybe alcohol in food, chocolates is one.

Picking up a wrong glass is another.

10 years in AA and still won't go near the coq au vin Wink

LilQueenie · 18/05/2019 21:04

You wouldn't always realise it was meat if you are not used to it. Sod what other veggies say I'm one and no judging from me.

Marlena1 · 18/05/2019 21:08

I once ate some of a lasagne that I thought had been made from quorn. I knew it tasted different but I'd had a few drinks. I stopped eating once I realised but definitely didn't feel bad about about it. These things happen, I thought this thread was going to say that you just couldn't resist a big juicy burger or somethingGrinLet it go if you can, you are doing your best.

Iamtinkabella · 18/05/2019 21:12

it really is ok, you have not done anything ridiculously awful. i know someone who has been a vegetarian for years (30+) and loved the look of steak at a meal. asked to try it and then regretted it instantly. atleast you never chose to do itGrin

slashlover · 18/05/2019 21:17

that in itself should put you off! Even if they use free range eggs, which is not a given

It's soya.

VioletCharlotte · 18/05/2019 21:22

I'm vegetarian and would be upset by this too and it would put me off food for a bit, especially Chinese food. Try not to beat yourself up though, it's not your fault at all.

mouldyhousemouldylife · 18/05/2019 21:24

Honestly get a grip in the nicest way possible

AmeriAnn · 18/05/2019 21:32

My daughter is vegetarian and occasionally she will end up eating something non-vegetarian because I've screwed up. I make a mental note to do better and I never ever tell her. Why would I? It's not her fault but she'd still feel bad

No it certainly isn't her fault - it's yours! My late mother also thought it was funny to try to sneak meat into vegetarians meals. I never ate anything she cooked.

I've been a vegetarian for 45 years.

Pinkyyy · 18/05/2019 21:34

Bit of an overreaction OP. Trying to make yourself sick was foolish.

Nancydrawn · 18/05/2019 21:38

Your friends sound like dicks.

ScreamingLadySutch · 18/05/2019 21:48

That's all a bit of a torment, OP, over some prawns.

Please be kinder to yourself, and find a more balanced view of life x

Stiffasaboard · 18/05/2019 21:48

I’m a very strict vegetarian and I don’t judge you one bit. And I think it’s a really easy mistake to make if you were passed the wrong dish- a few small bits of chicken in amongst sauce and the like would not be immediately obvious

The veggies who made a big deal and called you out are arseholes and probably have not been very strict themselves plenty of times and doing that classic masking by being all holier than thou.

Don’t be upset. You didn’t knowingly order or buy meat. Your choices remain completely valid.

Please dont feel bad.

WorraLiberty · 18/05/2019 21:51

Huge overreaction OP and very dramatic.

I thought you were going to say you're worried about getting the shits, due to your body being unable to cope.

That's what happened to a friend of mine when she ate a meaty meal in very similar circumstances. She was ill for days unfortunately.

She was annoyed with herself but more in the way someone with a wheat intolerance (for example) might be if they didn't check the ingredients in their food.

Pringlemunchers · 18/05/2019 21:56

Listen. I have been veggie for longer than I have forgotten !! Shit happens. It's crap , but not intentionally !! I know exactly how you feel. But we try and try and sometime , shit happens . Learn from it , move on. It's on , it was not a choice made by you , but a mistake be others xxxxxx

Pringlemunchers · 18/05/2019 21:56

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