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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel disgusted with myself :(

108 replies

WinterfellPrincess · 18/05/2019 19:21

I've been vegetarian for 10 years. Partly for moral reasons, partly because I don't like the thought of eating meat - the thought always made me feel nauseous. But it's a personal choice, I don't judge others for what they chose to eat.

I went to an East Asian restaurant, and ordered a vegetarian dish. The dishes were not in English. The dishes arrived, and the waiter gave me what I thought was mine. It looked like it was, lots of vegetables etc.

I ate quite a bit of it, until I realised there was meat in it - it were prawns underneath the vegetables. I realised they had given me the wrong one. The worst thing is I'm pretty sure I ate chicken, as the veggie dish was supposed to have tofu in it, and I thought that's what it was. I don't remember what meat tastes like.

I feel awful - the worst thing is, someone at the dinner party made a huge deal about it and brought it to everyone's attention.

I've barely been able to eat since, and I feel a fraud to call myself a vegetarian. Some of the vegetarians at the table definitely judge me for not realising, saying 'I would have definitely realised if it were me'. I want to cleanse my whole body somehow, I tried to make myself vomit but failed.

I feel stupid and disgusted with myself for not realising.

OP posts:
Iamtheworst · 18/05/2019 19:49

From a moral point of view if it was the wrong order no additional animal died. Had you got the correct order the same number of meat dishes would be served.

For me it’s more annoying when someone forgets and buys meat for me - such a waste.

Time to move on.

Italiangreyhound · 18/05/2019 19:50

Please OP forget it, put it behind you.

You were accidentally served the wrong dish and you accidentally ate some.

Anyone judging you is an utter donut. Honestly, if anyone suggests they would have known, so what. Really.

I have seen one receipt for chicken and prawns curry (and i know there is Paella) would usually curries don't have meat and prawns in it the same days.

So I think it is very possible you ate no meat, you got a fish dish (prawns would usually count as fish although of course they are not a fish!) and you spotted it before you ate the prawns.

But even if you did accidentally eat some chicken, how is this a terrible thing on your part. It was an accident.

StinkyHedgehog · 18/05/2019 19:53

I've been vegetarian since I was little, and am now substantially older. I once had a random piece of chicken in a vegetable curry in an Indian restaurant - believe me, my reaction of spitting it out across the table was far worse than anything you did. I felt awful when I bit into it, believe me.

Don't beat yourself up for something that wasn't your fault. It really isn't the end of the world. You are still a vegetarian.

NoodlingAlong · 18/05/2019 19:53

Give yourself a break. I can see why it must have been a shock - to see prawns in your plate when you’ve been veggie for so long. But your fellow diners were being ridiculous.

Thirtyysomething · 18/05/2019 19:55

If it’s any comfort, I’m a vegetarian and I’ve been caught out like this twice. There was pancetta in a sauce and I didn’t notice and one time vegetarian gravy wasn’t actually vegetarian. I didn’t notice until I was about half way through on both occasions.

SolitudeAtAltitude · 18/05/2019 19:55

ridiculous overreaction..

vegetarianism is not a faith

as soon as you found out you stopped eating it.

The rest is all silly drama IMO

But yes, def right to complain to the restaurant.

topcat2014 · 18/05/2019 19:55

The food would already have been in the restaurant kitchens regardless of whether you ate it or not.

It was accidental, so you can ignore it with a clear conscience.

SoCallMeMaybe · 18/05/2019 19:56

How do you drink accidentally?!

ethelfleda · 18/05/2019 19:56

Your overreacting. Massively.

ethelfleda · 18/05/2019 19:56

*You’re

Ninkaninus · 18/05/2019 19:56

Alcohol in food, is one example.

VeryQuaintIrene · 18/05/2019 19:59

Unless you are actually allergic, I don't see the problem. It was a genuine mistake. I do think there's a problem with trying to make yourself sick afterwards, though,

Sagradafamiliar · 18/05/2019 19:59

I've always been vegetarian but your reaction is extremely extreme.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 18/05/2019 20:01

I understand it must have been upsetting, but it was an accident. It is so easy to make a mistake. I have been vegetarian cor years, my daughter has for about 18 months. Sometimes we get things wrong. So many things you assume to be vegetarian turn out not to be.

bouncydog · 18/05/2019 20:01

I don’t eat meat but I do eat fish. I fully understand how you feel as at a meeting overseas I was offered a piece of pizza at lunch. I asked what was in it told vegetarian. To my horror it contained bacon. I had no option other than to swallow it down and felt upset about it. But it wasn’t my fault and I moved on. Donate the cost of the dish to an animal charity.

Aprillygirl · 18/05/2019 20:03

Jesus Christ it was a mistake, pull yourself together, drop your dickhead friends,get on with your life and be grateful that eating a bit of meat is the biggest problem in your life.

TheRedBarrows · 18/05/2019 20:03

OK, I very much doubt that you did indeed eat chicken - it is very different to tofu in texture and taste.

And you spotted the prawns and didn't eat them.

Your friends were being massively smug and unhelpful.

Ease up on yourself, OP.

number1wang · 18/05/2019 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

viccat · 18/05/2019 20:06

I understand (as a vegetarian) but it was a mistake, you had no way of knowing. It happened to me too - with a salad from a work canteen salad bar thing I assumed was vegetarian and turned out to have bacon bits in it. It's not always obvious and it's a shame the other vegetarians at your table were so judgmental.

klendraa · 18/05/2019 20:07

YANBU Flowers

It’s okay,honestly. I would be disgusted too x

Figure8 · 18/05/2019 20:09

I once accidently ate a dog treat.
And your friends are mean- it was a mistake.

Figure8 · 18/05/2019 20:10

Meant to say it didn't adversely affect them, so they really should pipe down

xaphan77 · 18/05/2019 20:12

You didn't deliberately eat meat, you hadn't realised. It wasn't like you got drunk and demolished a KFC on the way home. So give yourself a break you're not a "fraud"!

User478 · 18/05/2019 20:15

You have probably had meat before now without realising (eg cross contamination, meat stock, sweets/yogurt with gelatin, all the spiders that crawl into your mouth while your asleep.
So I wouldn't beat myself up About it.

The restaurant is really lucky you're "just" a vegetarian, if I had accidentally been given a prawn dish I could have died. I hope you pointed this out to them.

UnicornBrexit · 18/05/2019 20:16

someone at the dinner party made a huge deal about it and brought it to everyone's attention.

This person is a divvy. And they are not your friend. you need to learn how to deal with these sorts of people, how to shut them down.