To think I am 'careful' and not 'cheap'

[goawaywillya]

Okay a bit of back ground story. My dd1 attends a sn school and recently became good friends with a new girl in the school. This little girl is from a quite well off family and wants for nothing.
Today at a social event I got chatting to this child's mother who told me about how they had recently spent £120 on a new princess bed for dd and how they have a planned holiday to NZ next year to visit family. She also described going to the cinema or local play centres each weekend and how the eldest dd has violin lessons etc
Then she asked about my own circumstances and I described what I do on a frequent basis to save money she looked shocked and said ' oh. We should be cheap too'. I was a bit 🙄 and when she said ' if you can ever afford to eat out as a family you should try Nando's, they're cheap 'I was like

I'm not jealous of this family. They have good jobs and deserve to spend their own money as they see fit, but AIBU to see myself as 'careful ' rather than 'cheap'. Some of what I do is-

. Dress dd2 in ds old trousers as boys clothes are tougher anyway and her dresses are worn again as tops with leggings.
.once a week I raid the fridge/ freezer and dinner is a mix of this ( I hate waste)
. I sew and darn clothes and can replace a zip
. I have made sardine heads into a pizza topping before
.i have invited family to dinner and kept their left over bones to make stock
. Do not eat out because it's not affordable and I would be shocked by the prices anyway.
I make my own laundry liquid/powder
.i make cake out of banana skins and also out of whole oranges and lemons including pips
.instead of paying huge fees for holiday activities I take the kids to chase the pigeons and feed them sausage roll crumbs outside our local Greggs 😳 or just to play at the park
Our local children's centre does nice low cost/ free activities also.
.i have bought cheap products from Asda and placed it into an empty box of 'posh' product.
. I regift unwanted presents for birthdays or Xmas
.i make vinegar from 🍏 cores
.i once made a homemade suncream when I could not afford a bottle of the real stuff
. I love charity shops and bought dds birthday gift there for under £10. Plus we have taken the kids there to spend their pocket money on toys and books.
.if something is over £5 I will struggle to buy it on principle
.. I grate used bars of soap to make new full bars
. I love summer, i don't have to use the heating 😁
. I buy clothes for ages older than the dcs are so they grow into them and I feel I'm getting my money's worth.
. I got rid of my tv licence and now just use Netflix and YouTube.

See, it's nothing extreme, just trying to save money as we go along. I'm sorry this post is so long , it's just hard to stop once started.

.

Btw, isn’t the ‘family dinner’ supposed to taste like pork, iirc from the Pirates of the Caribbean reference to ‘long pig’?
Yes. That's why some firefighters can't face eating bacon or pork.

i once made a homemade suncream when I could not afford a bottle of the real stuff

I am desperate to know what this is

i once made a homemade suncream when I could not afford a bottle of the real stuff

I am desperate to know what this is

Tight as a ducks arse.. if this is real.

£120 for a princess bed? Wow you would shit yourself standing if you knew that dd's camper van bed cost £900, it was a gift.

I'm all for saving money etc but I cannot stand mean stingy people.

Ps you will also be the talk of the school. For all the wrong reasons....

Wow! Aren’t you the eco-warrior? We all take our handmade sandals off to you. But I suppose you go pigeon-chasing completely barefoot for that extra frugal experience.

So, you started off by saying you told her about things you do “regularly” and when two of those were particularly ridiculed and questioned (sardine head pizza and homemade sun cream) it turns out each of those was only once, many years ago. So why you needed to bring them up with someone you barely know is a mystery. They are just random one-offs from the past. I suppose you wanted her to be impressed.

Have you considered meal-planning and shopping to the meal plan? You won’t have to cook with “what’s left in the fridge” because there won’t be anything left in the fridge.

£120 for a bed sounds like a bargain. Admittedly I haven’t bought a bed in the UK in a long time but I doubt I’d be able to find one here for $150, which is about the same.

My parents were very frugal. We were a family of 9 on one wage in the 1970s. Jumble sale clothes that were handed down and down. My mum could repair just about anything. Very basic meals. No treats. We all get the picture. Result? I hated it. And I happily spend my money enjoying life now. I even bought myself a box of chocolates today. The scandal!

OMG I’m trying not to wake my sleeping baby, this made me cry 😂😂😍

Think this is a wind up.

Sardine head pizza have nothing on this show that I watch on Youtube called Extreme Cheapskates, link below

Think along the lines of raiding bins to feed guests, miliarity showers and eating strangers leftover popcorn from cinemas.

The Op here is extravagant by comparison!!!

Oh dear! I needed that, thank you for the best laugh for ages, fee fi fo If I were you auntie I’d not be too sure about invites to yours, crying with laughing, and has done me no end of good. Seriously, it’s good to be thrifty, I am too out of necessity but not to that extent, and I think banana skins are hallucinogenic? I’ve certainly read that somewhere. 😂😂

Anyway I am way ahead of you. I make pasta out of sardine heads with a spiraliser and whenever any of my family come round I bash their fucking heads in, slice them very thinly and use them to darn holes in the 80 year old socks I got as a treat from the Cancer Research Shop.

Like a PP, this made me howl! Excellent thread.

Lol this is brilliant,especially the replies. You are cheap OP but you've made me cheerful, so thanks

This is reminding me of the Viz Top Tips section.
I am another 70s child who was brought up on jumble sale clothes and horrible cheap food as my parents were skint.
Food, clothes and consumer goods are much much cheaper now in real terms then in those days so the savings you can make just aren't as significant.
EgThe MSE Old Style board is full of "thrifty" people like the OP. They make their own laundry detergent from soap etc. As I spend about £4 a month on washing powder and fabric conditioner, I'm not sure it's going to revolutionise my household budget, when my mortgage is over £1000 a month.

OP, what was her actual question when she asked about your 'circumstances'?

Bring cheap doesn't save money. Spend more and buy better quality.

Place marking purely to find out more about the homemade sunscreen.

P.S. 😂

You'd save shitloads more if you ate your children.

There’s nothing wrong with being frugal but a bunch of stuff on that list is kind of daft. I note that the OP has come back more than once to say “oh that was years ago and I don’t do it any more”. So why mention it?

The sun cream thing is dangerous.

I’d be interested in how you use the bana skins in cake.

But it’s a bit harsh to describe the other parent as worshipping capitalism because she pays for lessons and a bed for her daughter.

This is a humble brag, isn’t it?

You are cheap and in a way that suggests you probably waste a lot more money than if you bought better quality in the first place. How much is that wool you darn socks with? I bet it’s not cheaper than a new pair of socks. Using sardine heads as a pizza topping is fine if your family eats sardine heads but I bet you had a lot of waste that day. Not taking your kids on holiday is fair enough but taking them to chase pigeons instead is not a substitute — chasing pigeons / ducks etc is what all kids tend to do as part of a normal day. Feeding them sausage crumbs is a waste of money too — reuse them in your food if you’re so hard up.

I think many posters are being very unkind in this thread. Although some of the ideas are more than slightly daft (particularly the sardine heads and suncream) you have no idea of the OPs circumstances and what she has to do to get by. As a single parent' when I was younger, I also had to make do and mend and to do some things that would attract the same sort of ridicule here. And I bet most of your parents and definitely your Grandparents who brought up families in wartime could tell you similar tales.

Remember the old adage about walking a mile in someone's shoes before judging them!

This is definitely a wind-up. You are not careful, you really are cheap.

You save money on holiday clubs by taking your children pigeon chasing instead?

I'd file that under animal cruelty, in addition to everything said thus far.

Oh, and: www.google.com/search?q=homemade+sunscreen+uk&rlz=1C1AOHY_enGB708GB708&oq=homemade+suncream&aqs=chrome.3.69i57j0l5.12609j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

www.google.com/search?q=banana+peel+cake+the+kitchen&rlz=1C1AOHY_enGB708GB708&oq=banana+peel+cake&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l5.36784j0j9&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

You sound dull OP. Seriously dull.

Are they real brownies? Is a relative Brown Owl?
PS I love whole sardines and eat the heads