To think I am 'careful' and not 'cheap'

[goawaywillya]

Okay a bit of back ground story. My dd1 attends a sn school and recently became good friends with a new girl in the school. This little girl is from a quite well off family and wants for nothing.
Today at a social event I got chatting to this child's mother who told me about how they had recently spent £120 on a new princess bed for dd and how they have a planned holiday to NZ next year to visit family. She also described going to the cinema or local play centres each weekend and how the eldest dd has violin lessons etc
Then she asked about my own circumstances and I described what I do on a frequent basis to save money she looked shocked and said ' oh. We should be cheap too'. I was a bit 🙄 and when she said ' if you can ever afford to eat out as a family you should try Nando's, they're cheap 'I was like

I'm not jealous of this family. They have good jobs and deserve to spend their own money as they see fit, but AIBU to see myself as 'careful ' rather than 'cheap'. Some of what I do is-

. Dress dd2 in ds old trousers as boys clothes are tougher anyway and her dresses are worn again as tops with leggings.
.once a week I raid the fridge/ freezer and dinner is a mix of this ( I hate waste)
. I sew and darn clothes and can replace a zip
. I have made sardine heads into a pizza topping before
.i have invited family to dinner and kept their left over bones to make stock
. Do not eat out because it's not affordable and I would be shocked by the prices anyway.
I make my own laundry liquid/powder
.i make cake out of banana skins and also out of whole oranges and lemons including pips
.instead of paying huge fees for holiday activities I take the kids to chase the pigeons and feed them sausage roll crumbs outside our local Greggs 😳 or just to play at the park
Our local children's centre does nice low cost/ free activities also.
.i have bought cheap products from Asda and placed it into an empty box of 'posh' product.
. I regift unwanted presents for birthdays or Xmas
.i make vinegar from 🍏 cores
.i once made a homemade suncream when I could not afford a bottle of the real stuff
. I love charity shops and bought dds birthday gift there for under £10. Plus we have taken the kids there to spend their pocket money on toys and books.
.if something is over £5 I will struggle to buy it on principle
.. I grate used bars of soap to make new full bars
. I love summer, i don't have to use the heating 😁
. I buy clothes for ages older than the dcs are so they grow into them and I feel I'm getting my money's worth.
. I got rid of my tv licence and now just use Netflix and YouTube.

See, it's nothing extreme, just trying to save money as we go along. I'm sorry this post is so long , it's just hard to stop once started.

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Please explain how to make a pizza topping out of sardine heads I am so intrigued.

Why spend all your time making vinegar, get a job and then you can buy your own

No no no the kids don't eat sausage roll crumbs. The pigeons do. Goodness I should really re read my own posts

Why would you be going into that level of detail about your financial circumstances with someone you've just met ?

Bloody hell youre all a miserable bunch of people tonight.

So cheer us up - the recipe for Sardine Head Pizza should do the trick 😉

Maybe the casual cannibalism had her on the back foot
What a way to make cheap stock though!

Some of the things you say are brilliant, and some are odd even to me (and I have friends on hippy commune type housing co ops).

You would be best finding a short answer which conveys your lifestyle and hobbies, which also doesn't go in depth. Coming out with all of what you've written would make you really vulnerable because a lot of people wouldn't understand. Over time, as you got to know someone, you'd know if it was worth your time and effort going into details.

I speak from experience. I give away far too much.

I grew up thrifty and in fact spent some time travelling in a caravan with my family. Maybe I am cheap but I hate waste and don't like to spend money if I can avoid it

Mmmm sardine head pizza -sounds delicious and totally worth the few pence saved on another topping

Do not eat out because it's not affordable

So you just take the children to sit outside Greggs and watch the pigeons eat other peoples crumbs?

I am not poor. I am not rich. I just like to be 'careful' and keep waste to a minimum.

The sardine pizza was along time ago and before kids. ''Twas okay really

Is this what passes for small talk now? She talks about nice places to go at the weekend and you talk about darning sardine heads and boiling bones?

I have invited family to dinner and kept their left over bones to make stock
Hollowed out skulls also make useful mixing bowls, and you can make delightful necklaces out of teeth

You can make glue from relatives bones. That should save a bob or two

I don't have any family left but I do have a lot of stock

I suspect you're after 'goodness me, well done, aren't you amazing' type answers.

However, although some of what you do is fine, I can't get over the make your own sunscreen thing. Please don't use it on your children. They deserve proper legitimate sunscreen that actually works. A couple of pounds a bottle, surely you can afford that.

And some of the stuff is just plain weird.

@BackforGood why? It's all just banter. A person who hates waste and tries to do their best talking to another person who loves materialism and it's trappings

And I'm sure there are 1001 uses for skin 🙈

I think you're the extreme side of careful with some of the things you do. Nothing wrong with that, it's your life to live how you choose. You're not doing anyone any harm.

I do have to ask though, did you reel this type of list to her or was it more of a generic discussion about the kind of things you do?

@MagicKingdomDizzy the suncream was years ago as a younger person. I don't do it now.

Sausage roll crumbs? Please tell me how exactly you score just crumbs? I've been incredibly poor in life but you sound really miserly. I'd rather skip a meal than eat a sardine head pizza.

Anyway I am way ahead of you. I make pasta out of sardine heads with a spiraliser and whenever any of my family come round I bash their fucking heads in, slice them very thinly and use them to darn holes in the 80 year old socks I got as a treat from the Cancer Research Shop.

I've no idea if this is real but habe been crying laughing. Especially the stock from your relatives ' bones and the responses to that. Plus darning fish heads

@Passthecherrycoke my word . You don't know anything about whether I work or not