To think I am 'careful' and not 'cheap'

[goawaywillya]

Okay a bit of back ground story. My dd1 attends a sn school and recently became good friends with a new girl in the school. This little girl is from a quite well off family and wants for nothing.
Today at a social event I got chatting to this child's mother who told me about how they had recently spent £120 on a new princess bed for dd and how they have a planned holiday to NZ next year to visit family. She also described going to the cinema or local play centres each weekend and how the eldest dd has violin lessons etc
Then she asked about my own circumstances and I described what I do on a frequent basis to save money she looked shocked and said ' oh. We should be cheap too'. I was a bit 🙄 and when she said ' if you can ever afford to eat out as a family you should try Nando's, they're cheap 'I was like

I'm not jealous of this family. They have good jobs and deserve to spend their own money as they see fit, but AIBU to see myself as 'careful ' rather than 'cheap'. Some of what I do is-

. Dress dd2 in ds old trousers as boys clothes are tougher anyway and her dresses are worn again as tops with leggings.
.once a week I raid the fridge/ freezer and dinner is a mix of this ( I hate waste)
. I sew and darn clothes and can replace a zip
. I have made sardine heads into a pizza topping before
.i have invited family to dinner and kept their left over bones to make stock
. Do not eat out because it's not affordable and I would be shocked by the prices anyway.
I make my own laundry liquid/powder
.i make cake out of banana skins and also out of whole oranges and lemons including pips
.instead of paying huge fees for holiday activities I take the kids to chase the pigeons and feed them sausage roll crumbs outside our local Greggs 😳 or just to play at the park
Our local children's centre does nice low cost/ free activities also.
.i have bought cheap products from Asda and placed it into an empty box of 'posh' product.
. I regift unwanted presents for birthdays or Xmas
.i make vinegar from 🍏 cores
.i once made a homemade suncream when I could not afford a bottle of the real stuff
. I love charity shops and bought dds birthday gift there for under £10. Plus we have taken the kids there to spend their pocket money on toys and books.
.if something is over £5 I will struggle to buy it on principle
.. I grate used bars of soap to make new full bars
. I love summer, i don't have to use the heating 😁
. I buy clothes for ages older than the dcs are so they grow into them and I feel I'm getting my money's worth.
. I got rid of my tv licence and now just use Netflix and YouTube.

See, it's nothing extreme, just trying to save money as we go along. I'm sorry this post is so long , it's just hard to stop once started.

.

Indeed BarbaraOfSeville that is probably the very essence of a MN conundrum ... but in the basis that the poor kids had spent the night trying to sleep in a Fiat Panda (economical hand down from her father) when their mum could have put them up in a suite at a 5* hotel without even coming close to scratching her savings.. and then made them wait for Greggs to open because the cafe near where they were parked was too expensive.. I thought that allowing them to indulge in an entire sausage roll each was a well deserved treat in the circumstances..

However my patience did snap at this point , and I did have quite the rant. This was countered by TF admitting that she was 'horrified by how I threw my money around on unnecessary expenses '.. and that 'no wonder you find it hard to make ends meet' !! (I don't and have never said so)
My woeful money management included 2 x £15 pitches for the camping. (Me, DH & both our dcs , so 7 kids) - buying ice creams BOTH days we were away. Buying full English breakfast at the aforementioned cafe for self and the three kids I had with me on the second trip.. and a bed EACH at the youth hostel.

The bit I didn't add - just because my mind still boggles is that she apparently divorced her DH because he was 'so mean with money'.. can't even begin to imagine what that looked like !!

When he was a young boy, my ds earned pocket money by bashing the slugs in our veggie garden with an old rolling pin. No poison needed for the veg and it kept him occupied for hours.

I'll say this now ( can't believe I'm saying this) if I offend you ( because somebody is always offended online) I apologise for that.

smallereveryday
she apparently divorced her DH because he was 'so mean with money'.. can't even begin to imagine what that looked like !!

That did make me giggle 😅

@imonlyatoyspider was he paid by hour or per slug? 😂

smallereveryday
she apparently divorced her DH because he was 'so mean with money'.. can't even begin to imagine what that looked like !!

That did make me giggle 😅!

You can save money on natural remedies for hiccups by not bothering. The hiccups will go away without treatment. The nose bleed will probably stop by itself and all.

What will you eat when you run out of family members?

Other mum making mental note - "do not send child on play date to this house or she will be boiled up as stock"

The boiling bones thing ..... have none of you heard of paleo bone broth??? Very good for immune system and a lot of autoimmune conditions. Due to nowadays lack of collagen, gelatin in our diet. By boiling up the bones it makes a fantastic bone broth that you can either drink, or cool in the fridge to make a great oil to reuse on other dishes when cooking. Or simply reheat to drink. In doing this a lot of ppl have corrected many health conditions. I wouldn't use family's bones off there plates though that they had been chewing on. I use whole chicken. Cook it. Use bones to reboil.

But this is only thing I take on board from OP the rest is batshit crazy! My 22 year old daughter hates it if and when I boil the bones up she finds it a bit witchy poos! Lol

I have made stock from turkey and chicken carcases, but that is after I have removed the meat from it on the carving board. The idea of using the bones from someone's plate is just gross.

Nothing wrong with being a bit frugal, I do a couple of things and try and avoid waste (from an environmental POV as well) but the OP is tighter than a duck's arse.

You can save money on natural remedies for hiccups by not bothering. The hiccups will go away without treatment.

Ha! I thought the same thing! Never knew there was a treatment for hiccups, natural or otherwise. Seems quite unnecessary.

Lol at the idea that the paleo crowd invented stock bone broth.

'paleo bone broth' makes me roll my eyes dramatically. Thanks guys for inventing stock. What a culinary innovation!

What on earth are people cooking that requires so much stock?!

It's incredibly rare I ever need the stuff.

Gravy, soups, paellas, risottos

Same as Finfintytint. We use stock a lot, especially in soups and risottos.

Right this minute I am eating ramen made with stock.
Doesn't mean I'll bake with banana peel - I compost it

I would laugh this off as complete ignorance. This says a lot about the other woman, not you, so just laugh about how she seems to be on another planet.

I particularly loved this bit (and I do mean this with love and not to poke fun):

.i have invited family to dinner and kept their left over bones to make stock

It sounds like you made stock out of your family's bones

Please laugh off her comments. If she wants to overspend where others can save then let her be.

Stews, casseroles, bolognese sauce, ragu.

All fairly common stuff. I've made my own stock in the past, but the faff outweighs the benefit.

Haha somuchinfo. In my family it was called chicken lokshen. My mother called it Jewish penicillin.

What is this?
How do you make sardine heads into pizza?
Banana peel into cake?
Oranges?

Why on earth would you tell someone this stuff?

Brilliant. OP you are awesome.

How isaking stock a faff,boil bones ,lchop an onion in 2(skin on),a roughly cut carrot.Boil for 30min ,strain.
I use it with rice for flavour.
In the past everyone grated soap ends and made into a new bar when there was enough.
Wasting money is often the same as waiting resources.

How isaking stock a faff,boil bones ,lchop an onion in 2(skin on),a roughly cut carrot.Boil for 30min

A stock cube is cheaper at 3.9p

formerbabe
True, but nice stock would cost more and making your own with leftovers is the cheapest way to make nice stock.