I posted last week asking if DP was being unreasonable by refusing to do night feeds for our 5 week old baby. The whole thing ended with him moving back to his mums. We are still separated.
I’m looking for some advice on the following:
I think I mentioned on the other thread that he was refusing to take DS, so I could attend an MRI scan, as he had a meeting in work. Well on the Monday, he text me saying he would pick DS up at 11:30am so I could go to the scan. He did. All fine, got my scan then got DS back. On the Tuesday he was supposed to take DS again for a few hours. Again he refused. I stupidly text him in anger saying if he didn’t get DS as arranged I would bring DS to his mums door (he’s still living with her) so if he wasn’t there, he had better give his mum a heads up that I was coming. His mum lives 2 minutes away from me so I said I was just going to take the baby round there.
Well, after I said this all he’ll broke loose. He accused me of saying I was going to abandon our son at his mums door, that I was an unfit parent and that he was going to contact social services as I must be suffering from PND.
That night he sent me countless emails calling me:
A cunt
A crackpot
A muppet
Pathetic
A complete worthless cunt
A sad desperate troll
A lunatic
That I don’t deserve any of my kids
An ugly person
A mentally unstable lunatic who should have been committed
A sick fucking bastard.
He then said he wouldn’t be attending our sons birth registration on the Wednesday but he had completed a statutory declaration so he could have his name on the birth certificate, and he would post it through my door. He said I was to name our son XXX and anything other than this, his declaration would be nil and void. I advised I would not be naming our son what he demanded as he had included 2 middle names of people whom I don’t know and have never met these people in my life. I said I would name our son...first name...my surname...his surname, so if he wanted his name on the birth certificate, he would have to either be there at the registration or fill in another declaration. He refused this and said if I didn’t name DS EXACTLY as he said, THE CHILD would have to be registered fatherless and if he was registered fatherless, he would have no involvement in THE CHILDS life, why should he. He said he would get on with his life just fine and chalk meeting me and having DS down as being misfortune that he had even meant me. It ended with him taking my WhatsApp profile picture, photoshopping a horses head on to it and sending me it asking if he could put it as his profile picture in place of the one he already had of DS.
When I registered DS, I emailed him telling him that I wasn’t able to add his name to the birth certificate but it could be added at a later date - if he wanted to add his name he would have to do XYZ... he emailed back saying he had no interest of his name going on the birth certificate because I hadn’t given DS the names he wanted me to.
Yesterday I went to the doctors to have a mole on my back checked and was informed that his mother had called the doctors surgery claiming to be my mother in law and said she was concerned for me as I was very upset and distressed and she thinks I might have PND. I obviously informed the doctor of what had been going on and the doctor could see for himself that I am not depressed and he’s noted that the call was malicious and I should be contacted straight away with if any more calls like this are received by them.
Now here’s my issue - all my family and friends are telling me to contact the police to report the name calling, what he did with my picture and the malicious phone call as it’s mental abuse. Is it? Would the police entertain me? I just don’t want to waste police time. They’re also telling me not to let him near DS as he’s clearly mentally unstable.
He has emailed me today asking if he can have DS over the weekend - all after him saying he wanted nothing to do with DS and has no interest of his name being included in the birth certificate. He hasn’t seen DS at all since Monday. I don’t know whether to allow contact. I don’t think he would stick to any agreement. I’m also scared that he would refuse to return DS. DS is also too young to stay away from me for a full weekend - he’s only 6 weeks old! Should I draw up an agreement to allow contact and if he fails to stick to it, then we can have something put in place legally? Or do I withdraw contact until a legal agreement is drawn up?