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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not go & say they are being ridiculous (affair/accidental OW related)

101 replies

lyralalala · 15/05/2019 17:39

A friend of mine, B, is currently trying to deal with discovering that her (now ex) boyfriend is actually married. B dated this guy for a year. We all met him. They saw each other at least couple of times a week, spoke on the phone every day, texted constantly. He spent nights at her house when her kids were with their Dad. She spent nights at his flat. He came to weddings and parties and never blinked about photos being take etc. He actually came away with us all as a group before Christmas.

It turns out his flat is where he lives when he's working as he actually lives several hundred miles away. They had agreed not to meet each other's children yet as B's kids have had a huge lot of changes in the last few years and she wanted to take things carefully. It turns out that every other weekend and two nights on the week he works the weekend he actually goes home, rather than has his kids at the house like B believed.

Two other friends are organising a big group night out and they have decided that they want to make it couples only. One of the reasons given (obviously they've not had the guts to say it to B, they are just planning on leaving her out) is that one of them is "concerned" that perhaps B isn't as trustworthy (around husbands) as we all thought.

We all met this guy. None of us had the slightest clue. B has been absolutely and utterly conned and left heartbroken and now some friends are being shitty. AIBU to not go and tell them they are being ridiculous?

OP posts:
lyralalala · 16/05/2019 20:55

Why would you be friends with such horrible people?

Clearly I didn’t know they were so horrid, hence posting.

I’ve never been close to the flouncer, but neither have been like this before.

user I’m not worried about being ditched from the group, no one has seen it as acceptable

OP posts:
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