Or is teen ds re bike helmet?

[choosingchilli]

Ds (14) used to wear his helmet with no issues.

He hasn't ridden his bike in about 18 months purely because our rules are no helmet no bike.

He has a bike sitting in the garage, he wants to ride it to hang out with his friends in the local park but NONE of his friends wear a helmet and he freely admits he won't wear his because he will get "roasted" by his mates.

We're going round in circles, he knows the reason why helmets are important. I feel really strongly about this issue as I've seen brain injuries as a result of split second accidents and even though the roads around here are fairly quiet there is still always that risk.....

He's a good kid and he won't go out pretending to wear his helmet then take it off round the corner (which I half expected him to do).

I'm not usually particularly strict and even though I feel strongly about this I do understand peer pressure and I can see that the majority of teens around here don't wear helmets. AIBU in sticking to this rule?

watched my son fall off his bike on the road. He slammed his head into the tarmac no less than three times while he slid and tumbled at speed. He ripped the skin off his chest and stomach, his arms and legs. Thankfully his head was inside his helmet and was the only part of him that was unharmed. It scared the shit out of him and me. The memory of that will stay with us both and he wouldn't even consider riding without one on. In fact, I'm surprised he ever got on a bicycle again.

It's exactly stories like this that reinforce my concern

The evidence that wearing a helmet makes you genuinely any safer is flimsy at best

This. They only work at low speeds and if you wear them correctly, and 99% of the cycling population do not wear them correctly.

I see the advantage if you do mountain biking and hit a tree but it's no riskier to come off a bike than it is to trip over a paving slab.

Making sure you have lights in winter and avoiding dark clothes (and that goes for pedestrians too) is much more worthwhile.

Dutch kids don't wear helmets and they don't have harder heads than we do.

DH recently broke his neck cycling to work. Very experienced cyclist on a path he knows well, just hit a pothole the wrong way. If he hadn’t been wearing his helmet (which had a crack straight through the middle) he’d likely be dead or at best brain damaged.

DS will never get on a bike without a helmet.

I wear a helmet, but I accept that this is arguably an irrational act on my part, and I do it partly to avoid hassle from misinformed drivers who seem to think it's illegal not to

Me too.

There is a great cartoon and I wish I could find it, but it is something along the lines of a mum in a shop buying a cycle helmet for her son, and she says will this make my son safe and the retailer says no, only save you from social ostracism. That is it, in a nutshell.

Unless you are mountain biking, as mentioned in my previous post.

I see the advantage if you do mountain biking and hit a tree but it's no riskier to come off a bike than it is to trip over a paving slab

DH came off a roadbike at 30 miles per hour which isn’t even especially fast for him. It would be easy to to 30 even as a relatively novice rider if you’re going down a decent hill. It is definitely as risky as mountain biking.

No helmet, no bike!
My son is 16 now and he used to be the only one of his friends that wore it. He didnt care because he understood. Now most of his friends wear one too.

Where is he going to be cycling? If it's on a busy road then fair enough, but if it's mostly in the park on cycle trails then maybe could be relaxes. TBH I'd be so delighted if DS voluntarily wanted to go on his bike rather than play on the computer I'd let it go unless it was mountain biking.

I'd let it slide tbh

I can't tell you what you should do.
I am female, not at all sporty as a kid but quite fit for all that because I swam regularly and road a bike. I rode miles and miles every week until I was about 16.

Bike helmets were not a thing back than (in the age of the dinosaurs) even on motorbikes they were optional.

I only ever once came off and luckily my head wasn't involved.

Roads weren't as busy but drivers were pretty much the same. A road near me was a bus route and busses used to pass so close that if I had put my arm out I could have easily touched them. I liked that BUT it did mean that I knew I had to look out for myself it wasn't anyone else responsibility.

My only suggestion would be that, so long as he wore it on the roads to the park he can take it off when there.

You could insist he watches a minimum of 3 accidents before he ever goes out though. It won't make him wear a helmet but it will make him more aware and lower his belief in his invincibility

There is a lot of information out there about cycling helmets, some very interesting stuff on the down sides of wearing them. People will always have sad stories, but there are lots I’d sad stories from people who suffered serious injuries/death because they were wearing them - not just ‘not saved’ by them.

I’m a cyclist (well was, I don’t ride much now). I’m in my 40’s, growing up in the era of massive amounts of safety adverts.

I rarely wear a helmet. When I do, it’s usually if I’m out with kids whose parents make them wear theirs.

It is easy to buy into ‘safety’ things whether they actually make you any safer or not and it’s very difficult to let your kids do things that instinctively you feel is unsafe, without actually researching it.

People saying they don’t let their kids ride without one really need to check their kids are wearing them properly. Most are the wrong size and it’s very rare a child wear the chin strap anything like tight enough to do any good.

It’s a visual thing, they LOOK safer and that’s hard to let go of.

I'm with you on this one OP. I wouldn't let my kids out cycling without a helmet.

No helmet, no bike. He is sporty anyway, you don't need to encourage cycling for fitness. He has got to 14 with this rule. Don't break it now just because of peer pressure. Presumably he doesn't smoke/drink/do drugs at the moment and you've always told him that's dangerous and he should say no regardless of peer pressure. So I would stay firm with the helmet boundary.

P.S.
I have a 14 year old who doesn't really cycle and whose friends mostly don't wear helmets too. I totally get it.

Where is he going to be cycling? If it's on a busy road then fair enough, but if it's mostly in the park on cycle trails then maybe could be relaxes

He'll cycle partly on cycle path, partly on a busyish road.

Ah I don't know I'm so conflicted. My gut and head say stick to my guns but I feel bad for him.

I wish he could be one of those kids who didn't care about peer pressure, we've had a chat again tonight and he was very honest about feeling singled out by his friends.

Don't know the answer but totally in the same boat with my ds. He has a helmet, he chose it, he likes it, he will wear it when he goes cycling with dh, but he would rather walk to school than have his mates see him in it, as they will take the mick. All the local schools seem the same, none of the kids will wear a helmet.

I see where your son is coming from but I still side with you. I would also want to know my son had the confidence to wear a seatbelt when no one else was, not drink when driving when the other drivers were all ‘just having one’, etc etc.

Please please stick to your guns. There is no compelling reason not to. He can carry on not riding his bike if he's so passionately against wearing a helmet. You would not forgive yourself if you gave in and he got a brain injury.

There's evidence for and against. I've known situations be made worse by an ill fitting helmet.

I'd let him go out as he is. Cycling accidents which cause serious injury are luckily still relatively rare. He is more likely to be seriously injured every time he gets into a car but I bet you don't stop him doing that.

Dh was cycling down a fast hill approaching green traffic lights when a woman jumped her light com8ng from the side. Bike hit the side of her car and heflew 30ft, landed on his head first, then skidded down the road. Still has the scars from road burn. But not brain damaged or dead - because of the helmet. He was an experienced cyclist. No guard against crap drivers/potholes/bad luck.

She drove off but was chased down by a friend he was cycling with, who caught up with her in traffic and helped her wait for the police. Done for dangerous driving I think.

If you wear a walking helmet or a car helmet then YANBU, but if you don’t then you’re being a hypocrite. You are more at risk in a car as a passenger or as a pedestrian of sustaining a head injury than on a bicycle.
You can’t always make your children live by your rules and tbh how wonderful he is so honest, he’s admitted that he wouldn’t wear it - many would just deceive

My dd had a head injury on Saturday- she was walking and it was bad enough for her friends to call an ambulance and A&E scanned her - we can’t protect our children from everything

Some people have really fucked up logic processes.

If he’s on a road he needs to wear a helmet simple. This is where you tell your child that sometimes in life you just need to own it and not give a toss about what his mates say. Google some videos of injuries if kids in skateparks without helmets if he hasn’t already watched. I don’t have this issue though my boy is a bmxer and it’s ingrained into them from about 2 years old.

Janleverton you can’t possibly know that brain injury would have occurred

My ex didn’t have brain injury after going 52f down the road after a car hit him - helmets are only tested to 12mph so how do you know what the helmet did?

My 12yr old's helmet after a fall on the road. He wasn't going all that fast, just fell awkwardly. This could have been his head.
My kids are never allowed to ride without a helmet.

Some people have really fucked up logic processes.

They do indeed

There was some interesting research by Reading University around cycle helmets that showed a greater risk of serious injury to those who wore helmets. Really surprising finding but it was a few years back so may be a more current evidence base.