To call BS!!

[rabbitheadlights]

my OH sleeps through everything! on Sunday night I spent the night in a&e with my 3 yr old ds having a rash investigated I called several times to update him on what was happening re bloods etc ... He slept through the phone!

Last night our youngest woke at 1.15 he has a terrible cough and cold and proceeded to cry and cough for nearly 3 hrs , obviously I got up and did my best to soothe him with calpol and snuffle babe, milk and cuddles etc and he finally went back to sleep at 4.15 in his swing as being upright seemed to help, this meant that I had to stay with him in the lounge (our bedroom is next door) so I sat on the sofa until the 3 yr old woke at 6.30 and then the day begins.

My AIBU is this ... he always says I didn't hear anything! Is this even possible? Is it not in built into us as parents to hear these things especially when your child is in hospital? He always managed with night feeds to wake up etc although admittedly with the youngest not so much!

I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant and I'm exhausted after 2 whole nights of no sleep what so ever this week alone and he is just nonchalant about it all!

I would never expect him to get up when he's working usually but after 2 nights of absolutely no sleep I would have appreciated a little help given he was off Monday and Tuesday ..... Hes a chef the hours are the hours and have been since long before we even met

EKGEMS
no need to wreck somebody's night. There must have been a very good reason why he wasn't in the hospital with her in the first place.

EKGEMS
on the basis that there are 2 children to look after it makes sense to have one parent in A&E and one parent at home. Personally I would want to be the parent in A&E, with the child who needed me most. Maybe the same for OP/her DH?

Wreck somebody's night? At that point it was entirely feasible that his 3yr old DS had meningitis?! I absolutely will not apologise for trying to communicate what was happening. For what it's worth I rang 3 times each time i rang once then sent a text with an update but sometimes in those situations when it's hard a voice of support on the other end of the phone can help

Op rather than bitch on here (rightfully!), tell him he needs to do more! Wake the bastard up.

Fuck his bad mood and if he's that much of a twat then leave him.

I 'm a really deep sleeper. I slept through a school in front of my house being in flames and fire engines coming from miles around.

Your husband works appalling hours and I imagine it can't be easy to keep a relationship alive under those circumstances.

I absolutely will not apologise for trying to communicate what was happening.
you don't need to apologise, but if your DH was relax enough to sleep and not wait anxiously near the phone, it's clear you over-reacted

Even if you stay home with your other kids, if you are worried about your child in A&E, you wait for news and have your phone next to you. If it wasn't that bad, no need to wake up the house for a chat.

DH didn't hear a thing but I just kicked him until he did and he dealt with it (without being in a mood) 🤷🏽‍♀️

Surely if an alarm can wake him so would a phone?

It is psychological! DH and I used to alternate nights when we were in charge of the wakings and to my amazement I slept through DH’s nights, I couldn’t believe him when he said they (twins) cried, he was up etc.

"You overreacted" How can someone on an internet post say that to a poor mother with her child in the emergency department when you know nothing about the child,the illness or the OP?

There's nothing wrong with one at home one in the hospital it just boggles the mind a dad sleeps through with a child in the hospital but if he is dead to the world I guess it happens but I hope he reacts to a smoke alarm/burglar

How can someone on an internet post say that

the fact that the DH was not worried and went to sleep is kind of a clue EKGEMS

A panicked parent would have been waiting anxiously near the phone, or would have woken up hearing the phone. Nothing wrong with sleeping when your child is in hospital if it's for a minor reason or non life-threatening reason.

DP never wakes up with 4 month DD until I realised some mornings she was in bed with us and I hadn't put her there or heard her. That's when I realised you can 'not' hear and laid off him a bit.

But if I needed him I could wake him up and he would be there to help.

And would you consider suspected meningitis minor @pamelax? really?

if your DH was relax enough to sleep and not wait anxiously near the phone, it's clear you over-reacted

@PamelaX that is such a horrible, goody thing to say. Nice grin at the end; just to rub salt in the wound a little more.

Do you not know that a rash is a sign of meningitis; a potentially life-threatening illness? The fact her DH could relax and go to sleep shows what a thoughtless, selfish oaf he is. Plus the fact he was quite happy to send his 35-weeks pregnant wife off to A&E in the middle of the night.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy
you do know that not all rash are signs of meningitis don't you?

@pamelax the rash was a petechial rash the exact sort you would see in meningitis as confirmed by the doctor!!

I am a really heavy sleeper so i believe he could sleep through. Additionally you say he works 80 to 90 hours a week? That's a lot! If he's a heavy sleeper and tired then it is possible he doesnt hear.

I am a heavy sleeper with slightly impaired hearing.

I struggle but not enough to qualify for a hearing aid.

It drives DH crackers, but nothing I can do about it.

I'm a very heavy sleeper and regularly sleep through thunder storms that wake my husband. However, a crying baby (or a miaowing cat) will wake me immediately, while he stays asleep.