My partner and I have been together about 18 months. His daughters 7th birthday is coming up and for the past three weeks there has been planning for her birthday meal which me and my two kids were going to. But this week his ex has said she doesn't want me there as her mother would feel uncomfortable (no explanation why). My partner understands that I feel upset but appears to have just accepted this. The rest of the ppl going to the meal are her extended family. My partner's family live out of the area so wouldn't be able to go. He has wondered if he should go at all as this feels like her arrangement with her family but is worried his daughter will be upset if he doesn't go.
There is another layer to my upset as late last year we had a similar situation when it was his son's birthday. His ex also put a stop to us going to that. My partner's folks stayed at my house and they all went off out for a meal. At the time my partner said he felt awful about how things had turned out. It felt wrong and it wouldn't be happening again......but here we are!