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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or are my neighbors both CF?!

124 replies

Lovethetimeyouhave · 14/05/2019 07:17

We moved from a tiny flat into a 0 about a week ago now and it has been absolutely lovely, we love the space, it is 3 bedrooms for ds, dp and myself, one of the rooms is being used as an office as I work from home.

On Sunday (5 days after moving in) I was in the garden building the trampoline for ds, my neighbor on the right came out so excited to meet me (second time as she already knocked for a net curtain I was throwing out that I said she could have) and show me her baby son. In under 5 minutes I knew all about her life, how she hates living in her house and.... wants her, her baby and her partner to move in with us! I laughed it off politely and carried on making the trampoline. About half an hour later we were eating BBQ and she beckoned me over again, this time with her partner there, she said how they would love to move in, they'd pay rent, and would leave her MIL (and other family they share with) in the house.... I said I'd speak to my partner and have avoided them since...

Yesterday after finishing work, I came out of the room to find the neighbors son from the left on my landing! He's 4!

When questioning ds he said he was on the trampoline, came inside, when he went back out the kid had been lifted over the fence by the dad and was on the trampoline!!

They're cheeky right? I need to sort this some how!

OP posts:
8misskitty8 · 14/05/2019 10:38

If your in a room working then make sure your door is locked. Next time it might not be a child, you could come out to find you’ve been robbed !

CalmdownJanet · 14/05/2019 10:42

Neighbour one I would laugh and say "God no, neighbours are there to say hello to, any more than that is too much for me" laugh and walk away.

"I'll speak to my partner" is the oddest reply I have ever read on mn

Other neighbour just wait to see if it happens again and if it does then deliver him back and say "Not sure how he got in but it's not OK, you might explain that to him so it doesn't happen again"

SallyWD · 14/05/2019 10:42

I don't think they're cheeky, they're completely mad!

IvanaPee · 14/05/2019 10:42
Hmm
StCharlotte · 14/05/2019 10:42

We moved from a tiny flat into a 0 about a week ago

Now, I assumed the O was a typo at first but now I'm wondering if it's shorthand for some kind of weird commune type living arrangement and that requesting to move in with your neighbours and sharing their toys is perfectly normal.

BowiesJumper · 14/05/2019 10:43

So next door lifted their child into your garden and didn't notice when he wondered into your house?? God, I shudder to think.

And her wanting to move her family in with you? Bizarrrrrre. I would get some trellis for both sides!

Original poster
Lovethetimeyouhave · 14/05/2019 10:52

With regards to her thinking she has a new best friend, I am already worried she thinks that with the whole "I'm so glad a woman just like me has moved here..."

Also doors are all locked today, would have been nice for ds to be able to play freely but it cant happen

OP posts:
Girlzroolz · 14/05/2019 10:54

I’m picturing the people who sold you that house. They’re toasting each other with goldfish-bowl sized glasses of Prosecco!

Far far away from these surreal nutters you call neighbours.

The first weeks after moving somewhere are very important. Be careful about what precedents you set, they play out forever. Scrape together your courage and make things clear early. Don’t believe your DP if he says to ‘leave things be’ or ‘see how it goes’. Too late already for that. Rather be seen as the cold fish of the neighbourhood than the wet doormat.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/05/2019 11:03

High fences are the way to go. You should write the parent of the child a letter and take a copy saying you do not give them permission to use the trampoline. If the child hurts himself, you are legally liable. I don’t understand why your ds cant play freely though.

Rainbunny · 14/05/2019 11:14

"Also doors are all locked today, would have been nice for ds to be able to play freely but it can't happen"

Would higher fences and a lock on any garden gate give enough security to let your children play leaving your back door unlocked?

Jux · 14/05/2019 11:14

Put tall trellis up which is higher than the fence (very tall trellis, much higher than the fence). You would probably find you wanted to do that anyway even if you'd not had a neighbour problem, because you can grow jasmine, honeysuckle, or roses up it which will be lovely. Jasmine and honeysuckle will waft lovely smells across your garden.

Have you met the other ndn? They may be able to tell you a bit more about the people in that house and tips on how to manage them.

Tell the bloody woman that trampolines are dangerous unsupervised and that you cannot allow her child to come and play without your knowledge and invitation.

Good luck.

anxiousbean · 14/05/2019 11:17

I think it looks less hostile to put the fences up now (as though it is just part of you moving in and getting sorted) - rather than later when it looks like a response to the neighbours. Not that I would worry about that personally anyway - it is not unreasonable to want privacy in your garden

Prequelle · 14/05/2019 11:20

What.

CabbageHippy · 14/05/2019 11:37

i'm with 78percentLindt on his/her answer

could it be that neighbour 1 just has an odd sense of humour which you mis-understood (hopefully)

I would be being polite to both sides but keeping at a huge arms length due to nightmare neighbour situations

Iwantacookie · 14/05/2019 12:05

Anyone else waiting for the aibu?
My new ndn moved in we immediately went round to ask if we could move in too only for her to reply she would have to ask her dp?
Aibu for thinking she should of said yes straight away and praised us for solving all their problems?

HappyRoots · 14/05/2019 13:34

There honestly are people like this, with no boundaries. I worked with a woman when I was in my twenties who had moved to the UK for work. We became fairly good mates in a "our boss is a shithead let's bond over it" kind of a way. She said she was unhappy with her accommodation and was lonely, etc... and she suggested that she could rent the spare room in our flat (I shared a flat with DP). It was a batshit suggestion coming from nowhere as I'd never said ANYTHING suggesting we'd want a lodger. I said as much, but she kept on about it - "we get on so well", "you'd have extra money coming in"... "it'd be so great"... it's difficult to explain but NOTHING got through to her. I'm not nearly assertive enough though. If your neighbour is like that you need to say something along the lines of, " That is never going to happen" and repeat it like a stuck record. Don't do what I did and be vague or fudge it, or next thing you know you're driving down to your parent's house for a visit and you look in the car mirror and there's this intense face staring back at you with crazy-eyes, because she invited herself along on holiday as she was feeling "really down about the flat situation" and you somehow got talked into it.....

...don't be like me OP!

Charley34 · 14/05/2019 13:38

Wow very CF ! Good luck OP

originallyfromLA · 14/05/2019 16:29

Wait - WTF?! Move in????? She cannot be serious.

Nearlythere1 · 14/05/2019 16:56

this is hilarious

Sweetpea55 · 14/05/2019 17:32

If the dad pops his kid over the fence without asking first then pop him straight back

DeegeeDee · 14/05/2019 19:54

Very odd @Lovethetimeyouhave, as others have said. Set the precedent you want now or you will be batting them off forever more.

Not to derail but what??? @Happyroots, tell us more.

janetforpresident · 14/05/2019 20:11

I think you need to say something to the 4 year old's parents. You don't have to tell them you know how he got there just let them know that he was there unsupervised and it's not ok. Let ds know that if it happens again he should run into the house and tell you and go out and take the boy straight home . As for the other woman- avoid but if she does ask again it's a simple "No, not ever, sorry I assumed you were joking before but let me be clear, we don't want anyone else living with us ever ."

Let your ds play out though bless him just keep the gate locked and your eye on things.

agnurse · 14/05/2019 20:17

You do need to let the parents know that their child can't use your trampoline without your permission. Indicate to them that it's a liability issue for you if their child is injured.

If it happens again, return the child to his parents' and advise them that if he shows up in your yard again, you will be calling the police and Social Services.

As for the other neighbour, for now I would just ignore her. If she starts on about moving in with you again, tell her that you're not interested in that. If she persists, end the conversation.

LadyBahBahBah · 14/05/2019 20:40

Cool story- needs more dragons

BackToDecember · 14/05/2019 20:43

Higher fence, these aren't people to be encouraged.

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