Or are my neighbors both CF?!

[Lovethetimeyouhave]

We moved from a tiny flat into a 0 about a week ago now and it has been absolutely lovely, we love the space, it is 3 bedrooms for ds, dp and myself, one of the rooms is being used as an office as I work from home.

On Sunday (5 days after moving in) I was in the garden building the trampoline for ds, my neighbor on the right came out so excited to meet me (second time as she already knocked for a net curtain I was throwing out that I said she could have) and show me her baby son. In under 5 minutes I knew all about her life, how she hates living in her house and.... wants her, her baby and her partner to move in with us! I laughed it off politely and carried on making the trampoline. About half an hour later we were eating BBQ and she beckoned me over again, this time with her partner there, she said how they would love to move in, they'd pay rent, and would leave her MIL (and other family they share with) in the house.... I said I'd speak to my partner and have avoided them since...

Yesterday after finishing work, I came out of the room to find the neighbors son from the left on my landing! He's 4!

When questioning ds he said he was on the trampoline, came inside, when he went back out the kid had been lifted over the fence by the dad and was on the trampoline!!

They're cheeky right? I need to sort this some how!

Lol I'm finding this one pretty hard to believe OP.
But if true I have word of advice MOVE!

I'm struggling to believe this is real.

On the off chance it is, then do not give any reason for saying no to them moving in. So don't say that you don't have room or that you want to enjoy more space because any reason you give will be broken down with "oh, we can take the smallest room" or "we'll be out most of the time" or other such nonsense.

Giving them a reason is suggesting that once that hurdle is overcome, you'd be fine with it.

With regards to the trampoline, I think I would pop a note through the door, explain that their very young DS had somehow "escaped" into your garden and appeared in your house. Also that he had been playing on the trampoline unsupervised (as you didn't know he was there) which could have put him at significant risk. Say that obviously he came to no harm this time, but they may want to secure their fences from their escapee, as you're sure that they don't want their young child in the company of strangers, or playing on unsupervised equipment.

The other neighbours... wow. I would just laugh and say "why"?? and "no"!!

I agree with others - this is not the time for any sort of subtlety, deflection, hinting etc. Be very plain in your refusals. Repeat them. Yes, if you can, avoid hostility but I suspect you are going to have to fall out with both neighbours to some degree. You might as well get on with it.

I know a lot of people on mn &rl find it hard to assert themselves/stand up for themselves etc but omg, you have serious issues if you can’t, when asked by a complete stranger, to move in with you say no immediately.

Hey OP, can I come and have a holiday with you? 😂. I wouldn’t be any bother but like poached egg on toast for my breakfast. Lol 😝

A six foot fence with a trellis on top would be in order here.

OP, I would definitely put 6' fencing up to prevent this recurring. It is not rude to want your privacy and it will also help with security too.

You also need to start as you mean to go on. PPs have suggested lying to your batshit crazy neighbour who wants to live with you. You do not need to lie. (MNers, what is wrong with you? Where are your morals?) I suggest you are very direct, even blunt if necessary, and just tell them 'No. Absolutely not. Why would we want to do that?'

Also to man who lifted his child over fence into your garden, 'Do not lift your child over the fence into our garden. If we wish to invite you into our home or garden we will do so,. Please do not trespass'.

@Genevieva

"Attach trellis to the top of your fence so that it is 8ft high."
Great idea but, sadly, you need planning permission for fencing, any additions to fencing or garden walling and gates to be any higher than 2 metres (6ft 6.7") or over 1 metre if it meets a public highway or footpath next to highway.

You need to stop this all before it goes too far

What a bizarre place you've moved to OP! The neighbours who want to live with you - AVOID at all costs and even if it means you being unfriendly and cold towards them. People who can seriously ask a stranger who they've just met to move in with them are not normal reasonable people. Their astonishing lack of boundaries will be apparent in many many other ways so I wouldn't be answering the door or speaking to them from now on.

As for the other neighbour who put his kid on your trampoline, that behaviour could potentially end in you being liable if his kid gets injured. If you can make your garden more secure with higher fences I'd do that ASAP. If the neighbour says anything, just say that you are doing it to keep in line with your home insurance policy. I'd make sure the neighbour knows you do not give permission for his child to use your trampoline as well, perhaps use the insurance policy as a reason for not giving permission.

NDN must have been joking. Maybe she thought it was funny? I could understand that. "You've got a nice place there. Can we come and join you? Haha!"

I agree with a couple ofprevious posters.
I would send the neighbour who put his child over the fence a note along the lines that somehow your child found his way into your garden, was playing on the trampoline unsupervised and then you found him upsairs in your house. You are concerned about the safety aspects - injury on the trampoline, chemicals etc in the house, visiting pets who don't like strangers etc. Then ask them to make sure he doesn't come in again unless invited by you or DP ( not an invite from DC!) You could mention issues about him wondering around the area unsuervised.
Make it fairly formal and take a photo of you posting it through their letter box and keep a copy.

@Gigglinghysterically well pointed out. I had known that. Just forgotten. I think it was introduced to protect people from 30ft tall leylandii hedges. If someone has a hedge / fence you object to then you complain to the council, who then decide whether it is unreasonable. I think it costs about £200 to apply, which may put the CF neighbours off. There is a good chance the council would decide that a fence too high to climb over was reasonable in the circumstances. Worst case scenario is that the height has to be reduced, thought 6ft6 is probably tall enough not to lift a child over.

The sunshine brings all these odd folk out. Higher fence, lock on gate.

Higher fence as a matter of priority.

Say no to the person wanting to move in with you.

Tell them you'd like to move in to their house, minus the MIL.

If they wanted the house they could have taken it when it was available.

Stop worrying about appearing as hostile, they are already hostile and are ignoring normal social boundaries. Set some firm boundaries face to face and learn to say 'no' without embarrassment.

I know it sounds unbelievable! It really is! But unfortunately it happened! Ok so today big pants on, I will be more assertive and sort this out, tbh with the ones who want to move in, she is a really big over share and I will be keeping my distance!

What did you do with the child after you found him in your house?

It's definitely them, not you! I interpreted the "talk to my partner" thing as OP laughing it off? But yeah boundaries need to be set, they are likely to escalate bearing in mind this is such early days!

Oh OP, I think you are working out why the previous owners moved! Big girl pants on, be assertive and tell them straight. Then as you say, keep your distance! Good luck

Wow. That sounds like some batshit neighbours you’ve got there!
I definitely wouldn’t want cf’s kid on my trampoline unsupervised probably the kind of twat that would try to sue you if the child fell off!
Crazy lady just needs to be told no! Then maybe avoid her as much as possible or she might think she’s got a new best friend

The left neighbour sounds like a CF and yeah I'd have to speak to them and just say could they check first in future as you're busy working from home.

The right neighbour.. tha's not CF that's just a whole other level.. completely and utterly batshit! She can't have been serious surely? Who does that?

Tell DP to not worry about being hostile...Get the fences get the conifers get a huge guard dog if you have to these neighbours are batshit crazy and will make your life hell if you let them,,,self preservation is not hostile!!!

Oh wow! What a weird situation! Definitely agree with everyone saying to nip it in the bud and put boundaries in. I think you can phone police if they keep letting their children in after you've asked them not to, but hopefully a simple conversation should fix it!