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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel really down?

62 replies

Settle59 · 13/05/2019 19:16

I messed up a potential relationship with a really lovely guy and now I feel just so empty inside. He was lovely very supportive, everything. My life in general has really deteriorated so much. I'm trying to find a grain of hope but finding it hard. I'm 54 and feel my chance of happiness is gone. I miss him so much

OP posts:
Original poster
Settle59 · 13/05/2019 19:19

I found Bank Holiday Weekend especially hard and phoned an advice line

OP posts:
Liverbird77 · 13/05/2019 19:25

Is it over for sure?
If so, the only way is forward, as hard as that seems.
I am really sorry to read that you're feeling down. Do you have real-life people to talk to?
Sending you a virtual hug Flowers

MikeUniformMike · 13/05/2019 19:26

Hug.

mabelsgarden · 13/05/2019 19:28

Why did you mess up? What happened? It is totally unrectifiable?

I am sorry you feel blue.

Rant away on here, we are all listening. Grin Flowers

Original poster
Settle59 · 13/05/2019 19:28

Thank you so much for replying. I do feel it's over if I'm being honest was some time ago. I messed up - my fault. I have very sadly practically no one to talk to

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Original poster
Settle59 · 13/05/2019 19:30

He wanted to meet and I had put on a lot of weight - a few years ago and wasn't ready to meet him cos I wanted to lose it first. Also didn't have a job and it was all a bit of a mess

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Stiffasaboard · 13/05/2019 19:30

Right
Let’s get practical
You won’t meet friends or a partner sat alone on the sofa

What are you in to and what groups etc could you join? Fundraising type things tend to have men and women in or language courses.

Singles holiday? My MIL met her new husband on a welsh walking holiday for singles.

Original poster
Settle59 · 13/05/2019 19:31

I wanted to meet him but cos of my weight couldn't commit then some months later I lost the weight and although he was friendly sadly we never did meet again

OP posts:
Laiste · 13/05/2019 19:31

Have you tried to patch things up/reach out to him? Was the 'mess' due to basic differences which can't be sorted out? Or something you could apologise for and assure wont happen again and mean it?

Original poster
Settle59 · 13/05/2019 19:31

Friendly by email I mean

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Stiffasaboard · 13/05/2019 19:31

Weight?? Don’t let weight hold you back. Noooo life is far too short.

Meeting new people is key then they have no preconception of what weight you should be iyswim as they don’t know you any different

Original poster
Settle59 · 13/05/2019 19:32

Those are all very good suggestions and some of them appeal to me but I miss him so much and iyswim if I'm honest I don't really want to couple up with someone just for the sake of it

OP posts:
Laiste · 13/05/2019 19:33

Ah, so he was friendly but thought he'd been rebuffed?

Email him and suggest a nice drink in a pube garden this week!

mabelsgarden · 13/05/2019 19:33

Aww you poor thing. Sad

Could you not tell him about it, and say you are working towards losing weight? (As you seem to want to do that?) Smile

Laiste · 13/05/2019 19:33

PUB! Pub garden Blush

mabelsgarden · 13/05/2019 19:34

@Laiste

Email him and suggest a nice drink in a pube garden this week!

Grin
Original poster
Settle59 · 13/05/2019 19:35

*Laiste

No mess was all my making - back at that time - 2015 I hadn't worked for ages and my sabmvings drained away and is piled on the weight. Had symptoms of depression due to no job

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mabelsgarden · 13/05/2019 19:35

Freudian Slip there @Laiste ??? Grin 😂

Original poster
Settle59 · 13/05/2019 19:35

Should say savings

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Original poster
Settle59 · 13/05/2019 19:36

Yes Laiste

You've hit the nail in the head*

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Original poster
Settle59 · 13/05/2019 19:36

On the head obvi

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Original poster
Settle59 · 13/05/2019 19:37

*Laiste

I did suggest meeting up in 2016 - he didnt reply.

So much times gone past I think it would be inappropriate to suggest it now

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Original poster
Settle59 · 13/05/2019 19:38

*mabel

I never told him I put on weight I gave another readon

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Original poster
Settle59 · 13/05/2019 19:39

Reason sorry typos!!

OP posts:
Laiste · 13/05/2019 19:40

Well - you know, you don't know till you try. Maybe he's still thinking of you? Could you give it a go? Would it be better to know for sure and to know you tried?