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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum ringing in sick, for my junior.

452 replies

KungFuPandaWorks · 13/05/2019 16:19

I arrived at work before just checking on the diary and paperwork, and notice one of the junior hairdresser isn't in. One of the stylists (S1) informs me the junior is poorly today.

No big deal we all get poorly, until another stylist (S2) chips in that her mum called on her behalf, and that she's off sick because of a high temperature.

I think it's highly inappropriate having someone ring in on your behalf unless exceptional circumstances (unconscious, hospital, no voice etc) but for a high temp?

S1 thinks that because she's only 16 that's it not so bad that her mum calls on her behalf and I should let it drop.

Myself and S2 think it's absolutely ridiculous she's had her mum ring in on her behalf. Not to mention it's not exactly the greatest reason to be off.

AIBU? WIBU mentioning to her, that in the future she must ring herself unless she is totally unable in doing so.

OP posts:
Pinkprincess1978 · 13/05/2019 18:51

It's a learning curve so use this as a lesson. To be honest I've had to tell older people (some more than once) that unless as you have stated they physically can't then they must call and it must be in person (text and emails not acceptable).

I heard a tale from a colleague that a teacher had emailed in sick the day of an ofsted inspection - email wasn't seen and an ofsted inspector arrived to a class with no teacher.

Musmerian · 13/05/2019 18:52

No one with a high temperature should be going in to work. It’s biza so many people think this isn’t a reason. You can’t function properly with a fever. My workplace would send home anyone who came in like that.

Musmerian · 13/05/2019 18:52

Bizarre.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 13/05/2019 18:53

I wasn’t to know OP that she threw a sickie Confused you posted after I commented.

I can’t beleive my post was deleted either, when is it against MN rules to say an OP was is being bitchy and unprofessional Hmm

She isn’t a doctor, so can’t possibly determine if someone’s high temperature is not a justifiable reason for them to attend work.

And the OP openly discussing it with her staff is not seen as unprofessional!

fuckitywhat · 13/05/2019 18:55

My sisters sepsis started as a high temperature.

My mum rang in for her and my sister is 24. She was that poorly.

Original poster
KungFuPandaWorks · 13/05/2019 18:56

mother yes, I spied on her. My spying tactics are that great she sent out a Snapchat and I intercepted it.

OP posts:
ItsClemFandangoCanYouHearMe · 13/05/2019 18:57

I think maybe cut her a little slack, she's 16. Maybe when she's in next just have a chat and say it's not appropriate.

The only thing I would say is maybe she is incredibly poorly and is sleeping, you won't know until you speak with her.

PersianStar · 13/05/2019 18:58

Is just a high temperature really a good enough reason to stay off work for an adult?
Fair enough if it was “she’s got a really bad cough and a high temp” or “she’s feeling really poorly, also got a high temp”
Her mum saying she feels abit warm reminds me of my mum when I was younger. I’d say I feel abit poorly, she would feel my forward and say yeah you are abit warm but actually I wasn’t that Ill. Certainly as an adult Id have gone to work.
Also where I work everyone from 16 to 60 is paid the same so treated the same. Unless psychically unable to ring in themselves, it would go down as unauthorised if someone else rang in for them.

WombatChocolate · 13/05/2019 19:02

And re getting other people to phone in sick for you, as a general thing, and comments about wanting to sleep rather than phoning in, I don't think it's on, nor reflective of an employee taking responsibility for themesleves and their relationship with their boss.

Phoning in doesn't take long. After that you can sleep. The employer and employee have a working relationship and if the employee won't be meeting their working obligations that day, it is down to them to personally say why, except in the case of severe illness or incapacitation. The Boss is entitled to a brief explanation and conversation which can only be had with the employee and not their representative. It doesn't take long, but an employer might need to ask about any meetings planned for the day or anything else they need to know to take charge of for the day, or anything which needs sorting for the near future. A responsible employee expects to have these brief conversations and accepts that even if feeling a bit grotty they will spend a few minutes doing so. It is a courtesy, recognisition of the impact illness has on the business and actually is often a specified requirement in contracts, just to make clear to employees that it's not good enough for people to get someone else to ring in. Why is is often a specified requirement - for several reasons; one because as mentioned above it enables the boss to gather info about anything they need to do in their employees absence (few workers do a job where their absence doesn't have any impact on others or the business or require some actions on part of the boss which also need information from the employee not coming in) two, it can act as a detterant to workers who are prone to take excessive time off for flimsy reasons - no-one is saying the girl in this thread did this, but workers do Do it and are more likely to if they don't have to speak to someone in person. Thirdly, the boss does not have a contractual relationship with someone else who might phone in and cannot talk about work related matters in many cases, nor make any necessary enquiries of someone else.

As a boss, if any of my team have had someone else call in, I have politely asked the person ringing if they can ask the employee to give me a quick ring themselves, unless they are seriously ill. I do not give the sick employee the third degree or ever question their illness even if they have been someone with a suspicious sickness record. When someone is calling in sick, that isn't the time to do it if doubts are held - there are appropriate times and ways to address such concerns and they are not when someone is calling in. And in most larger businesses you will see it is a requirement for the employee to personally call in.

JellycatElfie · 13/05/2019 19:02

If you’ve got a high temperature you’re more than likely contagious, or brewing an illness. And temperatures can make you feel horrendous. I’m a nurse.

Alsohuman · 13/05/2019 19:03

Not a comment on this specific case but I really don’t understand why it matters who notifies sickness. When I managed a team all that mattered to me was that I knew if someone was sick and wouldn’t be in. It was of no consequence who made the call.

Original poster
KungFuPandaWorks · 13/05/2019 19:11

Jelly So in your medical opinion would going out spending the day in the sun shopping with friends be the recommendation for the temperature?

OP posts:
Catchingbentcoppers · 13/05/2019 19:12

Well, of course you should speak to her if you have reason to believe she was being dishonest about her illness. However, keep it between you and her, rather than tittle-tattle with other staff. Keep it professional, if you can.

AnAC12UCOinanOCG · 13/05/2019 19:12

It's amazing how often, when the OP is in a tantrum about a thread not going their way, they update with new information that proves their point.

HappyRoots · 13/05/2019 19:14

KungFuPandaWorks Mon 13-May-19 18:49:00
To the people attempting to troll hunt, report. Would you like the social media post?

No thanks. I don't think you're a troll - you're just coming across as a bit unpleasant and bitchy. No one wants the poor girl's social media post splashed across Mumsnet thanks very much Hmm

SpeckofStardust · 13/05/2019 19:15

She's 16 and new to the workplace and wrokplace practices so I'd excuse her unprofessionalism for a one-off lapse in sick-reporting procedure but explain what the expected procedure is for future reference.
You, OP, are not 16 and not new to the workplace so I find it difficult to excuse your lack of professionalism in discussing one employee with other employees and also for expecting people to come in unless the sickness is something you deem to be sick enough.

Your dripfeed that you caught out said employee in the act of throwing a sickie, well, how very convenient for you but it does not invalidate opinions given based on the original information you posted.

Jemima232 · 13/05/2019 19:15

Does anything get done in your salon, OP?

You have spent most of the day online.

DramaRamaLlama · 13/05/2019 19:15

would you like the social media post

OP given your behaviour on this thread it would come as the slightest surprise to me if you shared it on an open forum Shock Confused

timeisnotaline · 13/05/2019 19:15

Is just a high temperature really a good enough reason to stay off work for an adult?
A high temp means i feel terrible. My bones are freezing and I’m not thinking straight, i have no energy and struggle to lift fairly light things like bedsheets, for a very specific example that I recall clearly. In my case in the past it has meant an infection - a uti or mastitis etc , and antibiotics have been needed ASAP (& kicked in very quickly)
It doesn’t sound like the staff member was that ill after all, but a high temp is a solid reason to stay home. In any case the boss / manager has no right to ask for specifics. She’s 16 and I wouldn’t hold her mum calling against her unless it was a repeat occurrence and you had kindly reminded her of the policy when she was well.
The op has always seemed perfectly kind and thoughtful on other threads but im afraid isn’t really hitting those notes on this one.

DramaRamaLlama · 13/05/2019 19:16

not

But please don't

Livedandlearned · 13/05/2019 19:16

I get my dd who is 14 to ring into work if she's ill. She has a Saturday job.

I just feel that it's got to be up to her at some point anyway and she does her job without me there and has her own relationship with her employer.

AnAC12UCOinanOCG · 13/05/2019 19:17

So this thread is about the apprentice being unprofessional and yet the OWNER of the business gossips about employees with other employees, and offers to post an employee's social media on Mumsnet. Laughable.

WifOfBif · 13/05/2019 19:18

So you’ve spent your work day bitching and checking this girls social media?

I’m glad you’re not my boss.

Ginger1982 · 13/05/2019 19:19

How convenient for you that she pulled a sickie so now you have a reason to pull her up 🙄

puppymouse · 13/05/2019 19:21

Is it just me? This thread is weird. I was at the GP only last week as I've had a virus. I haven't actually taken any time off or asked my mum to call anyone for me FYI. But her specific words were that I would only have been contagious in the early stages "when I had a temperature."

Luckily I can work from home. It's one of my few boundaries for not going into the office usually as I don't get sickness or diarrhea type stuff. Surely it's attitudes like this that expose countless others to germs because people don't feel they can say they're taking the day off sick without being judged?

Honestly, she's 16. Her mum rang to let you know. I'm judgy as the next person but I don't think that's unreasonable.