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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum ringing in sick, for my junior.

452 replies

KungFuPandaWorks · 13/05/2019 16:19

I arrived at work before just checking on the diary and paperwork, and notice one of the junior hairdresser isn't in. One of the stylists (S1) informs me the junior is poorly today.

No big deal we all get poorly, until another stylist (S2) chips in that her mum called on her behalf, and that she's off sick because of a high temperature.

I think it's highly inappropriate having someone ring in on your behalf unless exceptional circumstances (unconscious, hospital, no voice etc) but for a high temp?

S1 thinks that because she's only 16 that's it not so bad that her mum calls on her behalf and I should let it drop.

Myself and S2 think it's absolutely ridiculous she's had her mum ring in on her behalf. Not to mention it's not exactly the greatest reason to be off.

AIBU? WIBU mentioning to her, that in the future she must ring herself unless she is totally unable in doing so.

OP posts:
Purpleartichoke · 13/05/2019 16:41

I get migraines and if I am gripped by a bad one, I physically can’t call work. If I move at all I start vomiting again.

So I am used to having to have someone call for me. If DH isn’t present, the call doesn’t even happen in a timely manner. I have in the past managed to just hit my phone screen randomly enough that he gets a jibberish text and knows I am in trouble, but I only make that much effort if it’s because I need him to care for DD. If she is already with him, it’s not worth the agony.

So I have never understood why it matters who calls.

AbbyHammond · 13/05/2019 16:41

She's a 16 year old apprentice so you get to pay her peanuts in exchange for training her - so this is one of those times when you actually have to do some training rather than expecting a fully competent adult employee.

ladyvimes · 13/05/2019 16:41

Should have rtft! Apologies op it is your business (literally)!

gamerwidow · 13/05/2019 16:42

She should ring in herself and you need to have a word that it’s not professional to get her mum to phone in next time That being said she is only 16 and is officially a child for another 2 years so don’t read her the riot act.
She’s learning about how to be an adult at work so correct her but ring make a big thing out of it.

Original poster
KungFuPandaWorks · 13/05/2019 16:42

lady pretty sure it is my business. I'd love for you to say that to your boss and see how far you get. Can just imagine it now "I'm calling in sick, but it's none of your business "

OP posts:
Cordelio · 13/05/2019 16:42

A 16 year-old is still a child. Absolutely nothing wrong with this! I would personally encourage my DC to call in themselves if at all possible as it’s good workplace practice, but equally if I managed a 16 year-old I wouldn’t bat an eyelid over this. I once had to get my DH to call in sick for me as I literally couldn’t speak, so that may have been the reason.

ItMustBeBedtimeSurely · 13/05/2019 16:43

I'd definitely have a (gentle) word when she gets back and tell her she needs to call herself next time.

gamerwidow · 13/05/2019 16:43

Of course if j was to discuss this with her, it would be a casual mention of "glad you're better, but in future can you ring up"
This is perfect and 100% reasonable.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 13/05/2019 16:43

Have you not trained her in your business policies? Sickness absence policy for example? If you have and it's in your policy (as it is in my employment) the employee must call in unless medically unable, this would be a warning for non compliance with organisational policy. If you dint have a formal sickness absence policy or haven't trained he in it YABU to expect a 16 to just know what's ok and what isn't. Use this as a learning point, say you hope she feels better but for next time you want her to call in herself.
Also use it as a learning point for yourself with regards to staff training of this is the case

rainbowstardrops · 13/05/2019 16:43

I don't see a problem at all with her mum ringing in.
Give her a break

JocelynBell1 · 13/05/2019 16:44

I agree. The OP has been very unprofessional.

SilverySurfer · 13/05/2019 16:44

You're right, she should have called herself but I'm guessing her DM is carrying on from when she was at school. Problem should be solved by having a gentle word on her return.

RosaWaiting · 13/05/2019 16:44

OP even I think you're being a bit harsh unless you specifically included "call up yourself if you are ill" when you did an induction etc.

I hate the extended adolescence thing but I think if she had no guidance at all, at 16 she probably does think it's okay, so just set her straight.

IAmTheChosenOne · 13/05/2019 16:45

@KungFuPandaWorks

The only is onus you to communicate work procedures appropriately then. You haven't.

Teddybear45 · 13/05/2019 16:45

In my company under 18s have different rules for sickness. Parents calling in on their behalf is fine. Remember you pay these guys less than the over 18s because they are children; you absolutely need to consider that when designing workplace sickness / risk policies.

geraniumjam · 13/05/2019 16:45

Agree with the pp saying it sounds like a bit of a power trip. Pick your battles OP.

OneStepSideways · 13/05/2019 16:46

She's only 16, still a child really! If she were still at school her mum would phone in to authorise her abscences. Maybe she was asleep and mum didn't want to wake her.

ImposterSyndrome101 · 13/05/2019 16:46

If it's the first time I'd let it go tbh. I'm in my 20's and due to other issues when I'm ill I lose a lot of my ability speak and understand what is being said to me so usually email or ask a friend or family member to call on my behalf.

Cwtches123 · 13/05/2019 16:47

Had you explained to her that she needed to phone in herself if ever she was sick?

Wibblemonster · 13/05/2019 16:48

My son (3) had a temp. Was out of sorts but no other symptoms. Due to level of temp the GP wanted to see him, said they were concerned but couldn't find source of infection. By the evening we were back at OOH as temp spiked further and he had a really nasty swollen and puss covered throat that wasn't there that morning as his body was fighting the infection and now failing.

Temperatures usually suggest some kind of infection and can make you feel very unwell.

No I don't think it was unreasonable for her mum to ring and if she has got a temperature I do think it's unreasonable of you to think she could come in. What about any of your customers that may be immunocompromised or anyone they care for?

If it has caused you that much upset you've needed to post on a forum then simply suggest that next time she rings herself. Hmm

TotheletterofthelawTHELETTER · 13/05/2019 16:49

If this is her first job and this is the first time she has been off sick then I wouldn’t be bothered. In her back to work interview I’d reinforce that the policy is to call in yourself unless totally incapable but I wouldn’t be harsh.

If she has been off sick numerous times and knows she has to ring in herself then I would be more annoyed.

I had to ring an employee recently who texted a colleague to say “tell totheletter I won’t be in today, I’ve got a bad cold”. They were really surprised when I rang them to see where they were. They’ve worked there 26 years and were well aware of our sickness policy so absolutely no slack was given.

IAmTheChosenOne · 13/05/2019 16:49

@KungFuPandaWorks

Can just imagine it now "I'm calling in sick, but it's none of your business "

Actually you have no right to ask any employee about their medical records. You are allowed to ask for proof of illness & 'fit to work note'.

www.gov.uk/taking-sick-leave

Myworstnightmare123 · 13/05/2019 16:49

Fucking hell....give a break. Cant believe you are getting so bent out of shape about this. If it's such an issue have quite word with her when she comes back.

Motheroffeminists · 13/05/2019 16:49

Does she know the protocol for phoning in sick?

Mintandthyme · 13/05/2019 16:49

So what policies have you communicated to her ??

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