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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum ringing in sick, for my junior.

452 replies

KungFuPandaWorks · 13/05/2019 16:19

I arrived at work before just checking on the diary and paperwork, and notice one of the junior hairdresser isn't in. One of the stylists (S1) informs me the junior is poorly today.

No big deal we all get poorly, until another stylist (S2) chips in that her mum called on her behalf, and that she's off sick because of a high temperature.

I think it's highly inappropriate having someone ring in on your behalf unless exceptional circumstances (unconscious, hospital, no voice etc) but for a high temp?

S1 thinks that because she's only 16 that's it not so bad that her mum calls on her behalf and I should let it drop.

Myself and S2 think it's absolutely ridiculous she's had her mum ring in on her behalf. Not to mention it's not exactly the greatest reason to be off.

AIBU? WIBU mentioning to her, that in the future she must ring herself unless she is totally unable in doing so.

OP posts:
viques · 13/05/2019 17:25

Oops, appears I am selfishly encroaching on the wrong thread! I will immediately report myself and leave gracefully, though blushing.....

Technonan · 13/05/2019 17:28

Its a high temperature not the flu!

You run a high temperature for a reason. If an adult is running one, it means there is something wrong, like, for example, the flu. Sometimes, people aren't well enough to make the call. If this is the first time its happened, let it go. If it happens again, ask her why she doesn't ring in herself and say you'd like her to do that in future.

dirtystinkyrats · 13/05/2019 17:29

I think the reason you get to pay her very little compared to an adult is that you are teaching her how to work, whether or not she is formally an apprentice. First time she does this, I would just speak to her about it when she gets back. She may not realise the negative impression it would create.

And yes to it being incredibly unprofessional to talk about it with other staff - I went to a local salon and heard the owner bitch for over half an hour about apprentices and people expecting cheap hair cuts - my hairdresser was an apprentice and hence my haircut was pretty cheap! I haven't been back.

Original poster
KungFuPandaWorks · 13/05/2019 17:29

Seeing as S1 took the call and S2 was there yeah I will discuss it with them. The comment about school sick note, wasn't done with venom neither. It was more laughing almost nostalgic for S1. It's honestly amazing how quickly people try and turn stuff too fit their narrative. And no, of course customers wasn't present that's just an absurd comment to make.

OP posts:
poglets · 13/05/2019 17:29

You don't really understand how ill she is. She could have a high temperature and be delirious. Better to wait and speak to her before posting on here, isn't it?

I think at 16 it is fine for a parent to call in when the absence is reasonable and legitimate. From 18, it's a different matter and you should phone in yourself. But at 16 it's more complicated. You also have obligations to the child's welfare as an employer and you would be silly to risk anything by jumping to conclusions and speaking to other staff members about a confidential matter.

BruceAndNosh · 13/05/2019 17:30

Since the OP clearly thinks that the stylist hadn't got a good reason to stay at home, it's just as well that the mum rang, as the OP most probably would have talked the ill stylist into coming in to work

AbbyHammond · 13/05/2019 17:31

She's 16 and in full time training.

Just stop bitching and gossiping to your staff and online, and actually train her.
It's not that difficult is it? When she gets back just go through your policies with her again.

Motheroffeminists · 13/05/2019 17:33

I imagine this will end up in the press. Poor girl.

ImNotNigel · 13/05/2019 17:35

I’m sure that S1 and S2 will be happy to know that when they are off work you will be discussing their personal business with all the other staff Hmm.

LaraLily90 · 13/05/2019 17:35

Agree with other posters, don’t talk behind her back to other staff members. It doesn’t make for a healthy or happy work in my experience. Stuff can be twisted and if she finds out, she may not be very happy. I’d cut her a bit of slack at 16 or perhaps if it really bothers you, drop it into conversation casually as a hint

diddl · 13/05/2019 17:36

*"Seeing as S1 took the call and S2 was there yeah I will discuss it with them."6

Why?

S1 just needs to pass the message on, you need to remind the apprentice of policy re phoning in sick.

You don't need their opinion on it, it was either against policy or not.

viques · 13/05/2019 17:37

If she is 16 she is presumably on some sort of apprenticeship scheme, which at 16 in most people's eyes is a bit like being at school, where let's face it most 16 year olds are, except you get paid. I doubt many schools would accept calls explaining absence if the call was made by a student, not the parent.

In this case I would accept the call this time but explain to the junior that since she is technically an employee she needs to learn to phone in for herself in future.

justasking111 · 13/05/2019 17:39

Our staff often have a partner phone in for them when they are ill. No big deal for us as long as we know asap to rearrange things.

goodwinter · 13/05/2019 17:39

Seeing as S1 took the call and S2 was there yeah I will discuss it with them. The comment about school sick note, wasn't done with venom neither. It was more laughing almost nostalgic for S1. It's honestly amazing how quickly people try and turn stuff too fit their narrative. And no, of course customers wasn't present that's just an absurd comment to make.

Ok, there were no customers present, that's good. But why is it absurd to ask? Usually in salons the staff are near reception, where customers also are.

I wasn't turning anything and I have no narrative to push; you gave no indication that she said it "nostalgically". If anything it sounds more like you're justifying a rude comment because you're being called out, otherwise you might need to communicate a little better because you're not coming across well at all here.

FairyBatman · 13/05/2019 17:40

There’s a bit of a cultural thing, a little t of stylists are self employed and if they are off sick they won’t get paid, so I’d imagine it’s one of those industries where unless your legs are hanging off you turn in (rightly or wrongly being self employed or freelance gives you a very different view of what constitutes “sick”)

It’s really not professional getting your mum to ring in to work and even if the junior didn’t know that the mum certainly should.

OP is planning to mention it gently when she gets back and that’s a great way to handle it.

FairyBatman · 13/05/2019 17:41

Oops! Lot of stylists!

Debfronut · 13/05/2019 17:45

Why on earth would you go to work with a high temperature? It seems some on this thread are implying you should but its the first sign of illness. Its a warning and can make you feel awful. Why would you go to work and potentially spread say German measles to a pregnant person. I would be really angry if my stylist who breathes all over me was ill.

Original poster
KungFuPandaWorks · 13/05/2019 17:49

good I'm trying to avoid giving every single detail so it's not as outing.

I was genuinely asking opinions because I didn't know whether to leave it or not. Seems I'm being unreasonable with the temp comment, my only grievance with that was they way the mum worded it. Didn't sound sincere in my opinion.

Maybe I'm not coming across great, but when you're being attacked. I don't think anybody would.

OP posts:
altiara · 13/05/2019 17:50

Why not remind everyone of the reporting absence procedure, so if her mum phones in then person on the phone can remind her mum that her DD has to phone in.
I agree if she’s old enough to go out to work, then she can phone in sick with a high temperature.

WaxOnFeckOff · 13/05/2019 17:52

I agree with previous posters, I'd just explain when she is back that when you are working you are expected to call in for yourself if you are off. We all need to learn and it's up to you as her employer to train her. Maybe S1 or S2 should have said to the mum to put Junior onto the phone rather than just tittle tattling afterwards.

LaBelleSauvage · 13/05/2019 17:53

OP: I would advise a 16 year old patient to stay off school or work until their fever resolves.

Sincerely,

A doctor

WaxOnFeckOff · 13/05/2019 17:54

Maybe Junior herself on the phone would have articulated the illness better so then you wouldn't feel as aggrieved by what the mum said. If that wording is correct, it seems like either it wasn't much or the mum was minimising.

Original poster
KungFuPandaWorks · 13/05/2019 17:54

I am also hesitating speaking to her 1 by 1 neither because she is still new to the world of work. wanted it more of a "Oh here's a refresher on policies" or banging a poster up.

OP posts:
cookiechomper · 13/05/2019 17:54

You're unreasonable. You sound like the manager I had when I was 16 and terrified to go into work, 2 days into my first ever job because of the manager there. Don't be that person.
And the reason she's off sick really isn't any of your business.

WaxOnFeckOff · 13/05/2019 17:55

If Junior has generally been a good employee up until now then I wouldn't be too worried either. Do you have teenagers yourself OP?