Mum ringing in sick, for my junior.

[KungFuPandaWorks]

I arrived at work before just checking on the diary and paperwork, and notice one of the junior hairdresser isn't in. One of the stylists (S1) informs me the junior is poorly today.

No big deal we all get poorly, until another stylist (S2) chips in that her mum called on her behalf, and that she's off sick because of a high temperature.

I think it's highly inappropriate having someone ring in on your behalf unless exceptional circumstances (unconscious, hospital, no voice etc) but for a high temp?

S1 thinks that because she's only 16 that's it not so bad that her mum calls on her behalf and I should let it drop.

Myself and S2 think it's absolutely ridiculous she's had her mum ring in on her behalf. Not to mention it's not exactly the greatest reason to be off.

AIBU? WIBU mentioning to her, that in the future she must ring herself unless she is totally unable in doing so.

Christ, how do people who live alone manage, I wonder?

If you're old enough to be paid to do a job then you;re old enough to take responsibility for this kind of thing. Parents do their kids no favours babying them in this way. I would have been mortified if my mum had ever done this, how embarrassing! Not that she ever would have!

I'm in my 50s and worked many places. It's always been the policy that you need to ring in yourself. I'm rarely off and if I am, it's usually something like a migraine. I also start work very early in the morning. On occasion when I've woken ill and just need to take painkillers and sleep it off, I've texted my boss and let him know and said I would ring in later as per policy but boss has always told me not to worry about calling. This is because he trusts me. It used to be policy to stop people phoning in sick while they were bunking off on holiday etc but with advent of mobiles, you could call in and be anywhere.

Anyway, it doesn't matter either way if the Junior was ill at the point of calling and then got better and went out. At the point she felt better and well enough to go out shopping, she should have gone in to work if that was still during the working day.

In the vast majority of cases, people will not call in sick and lie if they have to do it themselves. Some companies have technology on their phone services that identifies if a person is potentially fibbing or their sick line diverts to medical staff who assess callers symptoms.

Fraudulent sickness absence costs this country a lot of money in lost business revenue. For some companies it's a big problem.

Waxon- according to these posters it is all fine because she's 16, I'm a horrible boss and my rules are pointless

Anyway I have ever worked including summer jobs and part time while in School work you had to call in sick yourself. I emailed my boss once alright because I could not talk but followed it up with a phonecall which was just croaking down the phone.

I don't see why the op is getting so much flack about expecting an employee to call in sick regarding of her age.

I also said at 16, i'd cut them slack for not phoning in themselves the first time. But if it becomes a pattern and also because of what's happened, I think you need to have a word to the wise. We all do silly things and I think if she is otherwise a good worker then I wouldn't be going formal discipline, but she needs to know what is and isn't acceptable.

I wonder if some posters have ever had a job sometimes to be honest.

I work in a reasonably senior position now and have a fair bit of autonomy and slack but we have a call centre that has a lot of younger staff and it does take time and experience with some of them to get them into a proper work frame of mind. Not all i'd hasten to add, I'm not suggesting that "youngsters nowadays don't know how to behave" etc, because most of them are great once they settle in.

I really don't get all the hate aimed your way!

It's standard in every job I know that you have to be the one to ring in sick/absent unless you're physically incapable of doing so. Lots of companies also have the policy that if you refuse to adhere to absence procedures, it goes down as unauthorised and a note goes on your file to HR.

If this girl worked for a supermarket and tried to pull this, she'd have found herself with a verbal warning. She might be 16 but she is also a 16 year old who has a job. And 16 year olds should be following the same procedures as everyone else. Mum ringing in sick for you shouldn't be acceptable unless you are in hospital or somehow incapacitated and incapable of calling yourself.

I'd also say that I have two teens (17 and 18) and one really struggles with anxiety and doing things for himself, so I do try to help support him with some things. However, he also wouldn't be doing a job in a salon with people needing spoken to and a phone to be answered. The junior in the OP doesn't appear to have any of those issues.

People on MN don't like employers! Whatever you said, you be wrong, OP. If MN ran the world, it would be anarchic chaos. Nobody should need to be accountable for their actions, apparently.
Let's all fly off on a cloud of glittery fairies and unicorns and stick it to the employers. FFS.

I dont understand the claims of 'oh maybe she did have a temperature at the time her mum called but then she happened to feel a bit better'.

Either,
A. She was unwell, in which case you don't go shopping with your mates. You stay at home and rest until you feel better.
B. She wasn't unwell, in which case you go to work, not pull a sickie.
C. She felt a bit under the weather in the morning bit perked up by magic later, in which case she probably wasn't unwell enough to be off work and if she felt magically well enough to go shopping then she could have called work to work her afternoon shift.

If someone is poorly enough to warrant being off work then they are too poorly to go on a shopping trip with their mates.

My first job when I was 16 I asked my Dad to phone in for me because I was shit scared of my boss, Dad forgot and I nearly got sacked, that learned me 😩

Did the OP talk about this girl behind her back with other employees, Stylist 1 and Stylist 2?

• Version 1: S1 thinks that because she's only 16 that's it not so bad that her mum calls on her behalf and I should let it drop.

Myself and S2 think it's absolutely ridiculous she's had her mum ring in on her behalf. Not to mention it's not exactly the greatest reason to be off.

• Version 2: You can all disagree with the "bitching" because that's the only part you can try and dive on me for. But none of you was there, it wasn't how some of you are trying to portray it at all. S1 mentioned she's off, S2 mentioned how the call took place (which her mother ringing is against rules regardless of what you say)

I pulled a confused face at it, S2 mentioned she would come in if she was feeling a bit warm which is how the mum put it across. That's when the other sort of laughed and made the comment about pulling a sickle at school. But if it suits certain posters to believe we got into a slanting match about her and did it with customers there so be it.

So now the story has changed. In the first version there were some adamant opinions and a general discussion involving S1, S2 and the OP. In the second version, a face was pulled by the OP and it was actually the stylists who discussed the matter among themselves.

Obviously, a decent manager would have nipped this version 2 'gossip by other people' in the bud too, but heyho.

I wouldn't think that it's inappropriate for anyone to call in sick for someone else. They cld have d&v and can't get off the toilet or being sick a a lot. Any other time yeah ideally you should call in.

With a junior I guess she's what 16/17, I wouldn't get too stressed about her mum calling in, she is still a minor. As long as you were notified.

I used to get mum or dad to call in for me when I was that age. When you get a bit older and more mature you realise it's not a big deal but I wouldn't have felt confident enough to call my boss even if I was genuinely sick at that age.

I train this age as part of my job and most of them look like adults but they don't behave like them, necessarily. This thread is a case in point. I have to do a lot of hand holding initially but they do mature and learn the ropes. It is certainly not unusual for a parent to call in but you are quite right in that it should be the employee. We have this rule, too.

I would be more peed off about the shopping trip, which would make me think she was swinging the lead. That is not just young staff through. All ages do that

math Where in that did I say I verbalize my opinion Infront of them? The other ladies are allowed their opinion I don't deem that bitching.

Turns out the junior thought her mum had cleared it. When the junior had arranged several weekends off, she forgot to mention yesterday's date. When she had realised she hasn't mentioned it, it was very close. She spoke with her mum about and said she doesn't want us thinking she is taking the piss. Her mum told her she would sort it - junior presumed she would explain the situation not call in sick! Hence the Snapchat.

she's learned to hard way not to depend on other people to sort her shit. And you don't just take the day off if you've forgotten to book it!

Returning to the general question under discussion about if it's okay to get a relative to phone in sick on behalf of someone else, I too wonder if lots of people on is thread have worked recently, or have worked for decent sized organisations or for businesses with employee policies? It is entirely usual for employees to be required to phone in sick themselves unless they are seriously incapacitated.n this isn't employers being draconian but expecting the employee that they have contracted to work to take responsibility for communications about work related matters. Your Mum doesn't negotiate your pay on your behalf or go to your appraisal or get involved over whether you get promoted or not (hopefully) and part of being an adult responsible employee is making the phonecall. People don't do it because it can feel a bit awkward. Being an employee means facing up to things which can feel a bit awkward. A 16 year old might need this explaining as it might not be obvious to them, but once having it explained should understand and take on that responsibility. I'm surprised at older adults in this thread arguing it is okay - have you never held responsible jobs for companies with employee policies and known this to be totally the norm?

This is a totally separate issue to whether the Op has been professional in her discussions about the sick worker with her other employees or checking social media.

If I were an employer and I found a worker who called in sick was seen gallivanting, I wouldn't be thrilled - I'd expect that if they recovered they would come into work late or stay at home and recuperate. It isn't reasonable to expect your boss to pay you when you've called in sick and then be gallivanting with friends. Larger companies have policies for this too and people certainly get sacked or disciplined for it.

Being a worker means taking responsibility and behaving responsibly and fulfilling your duties to the firm that has contracted you and pays you. It involves accepting the need to communicate yourself and to behave appropriately if you call in sick and not take the employer for a mug. Some employees have a low sense of what their employer can expect for their money. Some are unreliable and call in sick regularly when they are not really sick enough to not work, or not sick at all - these people may often get someone else to call in if they can get away with it, and if that is allowed, for those prone to skiving, it does make it easier to do. Note I am not suggesting everyone who has ever had someone else ring in for them is skiving or that everyone is faking illness....but it does happen and we should acknowledge that. For some people the idea of 'duvet days' feels almost like an entitlement and perhaps for some parents too about their adult child workers. I couldn't comment on the employee in this case, but only speak generally.

All banging on about does it matter who rings. Yes. Yes it does seeing as she's aware of the procedure.

Was she though? Or was she just given the piece of paper you said she signed because you were off. Considering you and your staff stand around giggling & gossiping about why a 16 year old is off and speculating.

It’s very convenient how she snapchatted you a photo of her shopping trip after you got some harsh comments.

Mrs - because I've seen the form. With the rest of her bundle. Call it that all you want, another poster who clearly hasn't read the full thread.

I wouldn't worry about the grief OP. It's fairly standard for employers to have policies on reporting absence etc.

KungFuPandaWorks I read the full thing. Conveniently you figured out she pulled a sickie after not liking the comments for others. You also said you weren’t there when procedures were discussed with her therefore you don’t know how it was presented. Anyways, you’ve been such a great professional business owner for 10 years was it? I’m baffeled you had to ask mumsnet how to handled it. Also concerned you didn’t know a temperature was a sign on infection but ok.

At 16 I would cut her some slack. You were informed, she hasn't passed on her germs to your clients - she is probably nervous at calling in herself. As long as it's not a habit I would say YABU.

Mrs - 😴😴😴

Where in that did I say I verbalize my opinion Infront of them? The other ladies are allowed their opinion I don't deem that bitching.

I didn't call it bitching either. But gossip in the workplace is toxic.

If you didn't voice an opinion you still needed to stop them gossiping. It contributes to low morale among employees when they realise that people can be talked about behind their backs, including them.

As a potential customer I wouldn't like to think that I could also be talked about behind my back in a salon where gossip and judgemental commentary can go on, with nobody discouraging it.

Your update on what actually happened should be a lesson to you in how people's relationships work in homes where one party is still relying on a parent for their upkeep. This mother probably does a family laundry (especially if there are younger children in the home) buys groceries, cooks, etc, with the teenager probably contributing some of her wage and contributing a little to the work of keeping the home going. The mother's instinct to sort it out for her daughter is something most mothers who are not employed might not think twice about. There is no reason for the mother to be aware of the policy of your salon wrt who calls in absences, no reason for this woman to think it would be any different from school because her daughter is most likely still largely her dependent in every sense of the word.

As WombatChocolate's post on the question of work culture vs home culture illustrates very well, families can have their own way of doing things and their own perceptions born of ignorance or lack of experience, and none of them have signed the calling in sick policy agreement. It is easy for a young person from some families to be overruled or to consider it a battle not worth fighting, depending on the personalities involved, even if they themselves understand the rules of the workplace.

Moreover, there are sometimes dynamics in place that work against a young person insisting on following the rules - parents getting in a huff and making remarks about being too good for the family now that they have a job, parents mocking someone trying to follow the rules.

And then there are parents like this girl's mother who think they are helping (because that is what most parents try to do) but actually their efforts can backfire.

It is still an absolute imperative that none of it should be discussed in the workplace by other employees or by you with other employees.

math what an absolute pile of excusing nonsense. You appear to be suggesting that a SAHM is some kind of controlling dimwit who has never held down a job! You don’t even know that the mum is a SAHM! You don’t know anything but have posted a load of ‘suppose suppose suppose’.