Mum ringing in sick, for my junior.

[KungFuPandaWorks]

I arrived at work before just checking on the diary and paperwork, and notice one of the junior hairdresser isn't in. One of the stylists (S1) informs me the junior is poorly today.

No big deal we all get poorly, until another stylist (S2) chips in that her mum called on her behalf, and that she's off sick because of a high temperature.

I think it's highly inappropriate having someone ring in on your behalf unless exceptional circumstances (unconscious, hospital, no voice etc) but for a high temp?

S1 thinks that because she's only 16 that's it not so bad that her mum calls on her behalf and I should let it drop.

Myself and S2 think it's absolutely ridiculous she's had her mum ring in on her behalf. Not to mention it's not exactly the greatest reason to be off.

AIBU? WIBU mentioning to her, that in the future she must ring herself unless she is totally unable in doing so.

I’m baffled as to why this thread has turned so aggressively against OP. From the first she was only talking about having a word on the junior’s return, to tell her she needs to ring herself. - I agree that it is forgivable that both the junior and her mum are still in the “at school” mindset.

The scorn as to what she pays her? She’s unskilled, so cant do a lot and will require support to progress, and if she does progress, her pay will rise accordingly. Meanwhile she’s getting valuable work experience, part of which is learning the difference between school/family life and being an employee.
Now it turns out she’s pulled sickie.
I can’t believe the people are saying everyone does, or it’s a mental health day because the OP is so horrible.
Those people must work in incredibly wasteful workplaces. People who pull fake sick days make it so much harder for other people, both in terms of covering for them when they’re off, and in making them dread getting genuinely ill on a Monday or Friday, because people might be thinking it’s “Monday flu”.
Most hair salons are relatively small businesses. Unless she is managing a unit in a chain, there aren’t a raft of managers and HR team to deal with this crap. OP is probably responsible for stock control, HR, H&S including COSH, most admin, and all financial management etc - and will be a senior stylist on the bloody shop floor all hours.
The 16 year old presumably currently wants to work in the hair and beauty industry, well at some point she has to learn that it’s hard work, competitive, and that if you are off as a therapist or stylist and not physically there to attend to your clients, you, if self employed, or the business, don’t get paid. You might even lose that client permanently to another business. However you can’t pay less rates/ wages (if you are the owner) etc. etc.
The OP wasn’t suggesting putting her in stocks at the outset, everyone has to learn these things. If she’s lucky, the 16 year old will learn these things quickly enough to be able to hold down a job and have a decent stab at life. However if she has an enabling “Everybody does it love!” family, the poor girl might well find herself out on her ear a couple of times before she gets it. Or she won’t get it. Which would be really sad for her.
Small businesses really suffer if they get stuck with a piss-taker. They may be a minority, and this girl may not end up one of them, but they do exist and they are not all the product of poor management!

One of my jobs was within the Employability department of an FE College in an area of low educational achievement, it was an eye-opener. We dealt with all ages and a very wide range of support needs, but a lot of the younger learners and apprentices (16-21) had massive barriers due to family culture and attitude. Their school experience hadn’t prepared them for post-compulsory education life and employment either. They were so used to thinking they had to be accommodated whatever they did, and not having to meet expectations and certainly not consistently. They really struggled to be anywhere on time consistently, persist with any aspect of the job or work they didn’t personally enjoy, and if challenged about not doing x, would find it most unreasonable that the fact they did do x at least 60% of the time, didn’t mean they should be cut slack when they didn’t do x 25% of the time.
We did have successes, but as someone lucky enough to be born in to a supportive family but supportive with expectations, it was an eye-opener as to how many young people are leaving school totally unemployable (without intervention) without there being any SEN or other issues. We did find undiagnosed needs in some cases, and particularly in the older age groups, but I’m talking about those where this isn’t a factor.
Anyway, no suggestion this girl falls into that bracket, but it’s obvious some posters are clueless about
a) earning a living outside the embrace of a large organisations.
b) the importance of employability skills and just how ill equipped a significant minority are, before they even step through the door of a workplace.

I see a lot of she's only 16 give her some slack comments. In all honesty when do you stop giving them some slack?

NEVER! Why are people so reluctant to give people some slack? Life is a journey. People have struggles throughout life. GIVE PEOPLE SOME SLACK FFS. Depression, divorce, death in the family, menopause, pregnancy, seriously ill child in hospital, illness, age, disabled. Jeez, be kind. If the overall contribution is satisfactory but someone is struggling for whatever reason, cut them slack. Kindness and decency seems to be seriously lacking in some people.

To this point, if someone was genuinely unwell - maybe in a darkened room, vomiting and unable to function due to a crippling migraine or up to the eyeballs with the flu, then I would completely accept someone else calling in. There is no need to be punitive. GIVE PEOPLE SOME SLACK.

If you've owned a salon for years, and have multiple apprentices presumably you've had this sort of conversation before, why do you need to ask how to approach it?

I’m baffled as to why this thread has turned so aggressively against OP

I know, I said the same thing, way back on the thread yesterday, it's one of the most confusing threads I've ever seen. I's just a total pile on . Some of the dramatic, sanctimonious posts are hilarious though. They must think everyone works in large workplaces with HR departments, several managers and 'proper channels,training and procedures' for receiving a phone call😂.

blue I've never had someone throw a sickie and have proof that it's a sickie. Never had someone have their parent ring up either.

I'll be speaking with her later when I pop in.

Oh @kungfu I'm surprised you have the time for a salon what with you being the devil incarnate himself

We've all done daft shit as teenagers, I truly would have loved to see her face when she realised that she sent you that snap.

Hopefully she has turned in for work this morning and you can have a chat.

FWIW I worked from 12 and always phoned in sick for myself if I had too. NO way would my parents have called in sick for me.

One of the lessons this apprentice needs to learn is that there are a lot more 'got tos' when working compared to school/college. If she's got potential then it is worth having a firm but fair conversation with her. If there is a reasonable explanation for why she was out and about while supposedly ill then let her give it. At the same time reiterate your rules about calling in sick.

letsgohooray

Great comment...I agree completely!

Ffs relax woman.

Yabu!! A temperature is a sign of infection the last time I’ve had a high temperature I’ve vomited, shook and only been fit for sleeping.

maldives and how did you sort yourself out? Would a shopping trip in the sun have helped?

NEVER! Why are people so reluctant to give people some slack? Life is a journey. People have struggles throughout life. GIVE PEOPLE SOME SLACK FFS. Depression, divorce, death in the family, menopause, pregnancy, seriously ill child in hospital, illness, age, disabled. Jeez, be kind. If the overall contribution is satisfactory but someone is struggling for whatever reason, cut them slack. Kindness and decency seems to be seriously lacking in some people.

Ok, so would you like to send OP the money to pay her sick pay for the day? The fact of the matter is she reported sick when she wasn't, and went shopping. That's essentially stealing- the money doesn't belong to 'someone' it belongs to OP - it is the result of her running her business. She elects to pay company sick pay and the employee has taken advantage of that. It's not about cutting someone some slack. If you work for a small business that they get company sick pay at all is surprising! It's taking advantage and it shouldn't be done. nothing to do with 'cutting some slack'. Cutting some slack would be NOT firing her!

Am I going crazy? Or do people genuinely think this is fine?

Your workplace or you are employing a 16 year old and with that comes a moral and professional responsibility. Your title is senior, her title is junior, so act like her senior. Be a positive role model and nurture the people that are coming up in the profession. Her mother obviously thought that calling in was ok, she’s not industry aware of the rules, that’s what your there for. You’re being unreasonable, she’s a kid basically, not old enough to vote or drive or many other things but you want her To be Vidal Sassoon, /Hillary Clinton in her first day in the Whitehouse.

I feel like deep down you’re looking for faults and negativity. I would say to her, as if you’re doing her a favour for the next job, that some employers will have an issue with it so you’re giving her the heads up and that’s all apart of being sixteen and learning.

The

I think it's more unprofessional you all sitting talking about it than a 16yo's mum calling in sick for her.
What does your sickness policy say?

Good god, this thread is batshit!

OP, I'm sorry you're having so much grief over this. The Mumsnet warriors are prevalent on this thread! The story you're telling is not the one they're reading. It's completely bizarre!

I'll say it again; as a mum of a teen who's worked part time since he was 16, if he's ill, he's had to call in sick himself. He worked for a large supermarket chain for two years - dem were der rulez.

Kungfu; there's no sense in this thread - for your own sanity, I'd walk away!
As the OP of one of the original CF posts, I hope this doesn't put you off Mumsnet in the future!

kaytee Have you bothered too even read the updates? Or just going off a comment a few posters have made and ran off that?

boofay

In all honesty I am horrified at some of the reactions. I can take criticism and different opinions, but when they've been handed out the way they have, I think it's sad.

The names I've been called and comments directed at me, is quite upsetting. All because my responses don't fit with their own little story they've created in their head. This thread truly has shown a different side to MN. Which I always thought was amazing and has helped me through so much, yet last night shown a not so pretty side of MN.

maldives and how did you sort yourself out? Would a shopping trip in the sun have helped?

But you found out about the shopping trip after you’d already complained about her staying off for a fever.

I hope at least one thing you take from this thread is a rethink on that particular stance.

High temp means fighting off an infection. I wouldn’t want someone with a high temp washing my hair, dry8g my hair, doing anything near me to be honest. Damp warm salon breeds everything I imagine, so I think cut her some slack. And at 16 as long as someone calls in, who cares? If you business does care that much, they can stipulate on return that calling in sick must be done personally.

Most 16 year olds are still at school or in full time education, she’s learning, help her don’t judge her.

No sorry I learnt a very valuable lesson today in reading through the thread and I apologise

She's not yet 18 so of course her Mum can phone for her. It's ridiculous to be so bothered about it.

I see a lot of she's only 16 give her some slack comments. In all honesty when do you stop giving them some slack?

It depends on the person. I think you'd have to be a bit of a moron to employ a 16 year old straight out of school and expect them to behave exactly the same as an adult who has been living independently for 20 years. It's a learning curve. She'll still be learning what's acceptable in the world of work and part of your job is to help her. I'm sure you're paying her less due to her lack of experience so you can't complain about it.

By all means have a kind word about it but the OP came across as aggressive and horrified that a 16 year old isn't acting like an adult yet who is used to the workforce. She's making the transition and you should be helping her.

Why is the temperature suddenly fake?

It is possible she felt ill at time but then felt better and decided to go out rather than come into work- but you have decided it was fake?

Well, if she's pulled a sickie that puts a whole different light on the situation OP, with regard any trust you might, or might not have, in her.

And her mother has colluded with her in trying to pull the wool over your eyes.

She clearly doesn't put any value on the job or the chance she has been given to learn skills for a decent career and this is surely going to make for a somewhat strained relationship between you.

Difficult, not sure I could go on employing and training someone who has such little loyalty to me and my business.

HolesinTheSoles She's 16 years old, not six. If she has entered the world of employment then she need to grow up and act like anyone else with a job.

It's her mum's job to make her understand that, not the OP's and if she pulled a sickie with her mother's help, then her mother needs to be a more responsible parent.

My DM was 14/15 when she started going out to work in 1918. Pretty damned sure she wouldn't have been given much understanding if she'd been found to have pulled a sickie. Why do we infantilize our young people so much nowadays?