Told my boyfriend I might be pregnant by text - I have already taken a pregnancy test

[Notsoquietlyfreakingout6000]

I am 38 years old, I have been in a relationship/seeing someone since September last year. Things are pretty difficult with us right now, we both have a lot going on. Both have careers, his is going great - mine is going terribly right now.

I have been on the mini-pill for months. I came off it for a month as I bled for 4 weeks and was anaemic after emergency surgery wherein I went under general anaesthetic twice. It was around this time I think I had a break from the pill.

We had sex but I was going off an app that showed when you are fertile (and we did not have sex on the fertile days).

Anyway, today I took a pregnancy test, just to assure myself that my period was late and there was nothing to be concerned about and two red lines have come up. One is more distinctive than the other, but it is very obviously there.

We aren't even living with each other at the moment. In fact, I am living with my family because I had to go part-time at work due to sickness. I knew I had fertility issues in the past - suspected PCOS (I only got my periods 4 times a year).

I guess my AIBU is I just sent him a text message and eased him into it by saying I am still late. What I haven't told him is that two red lines showed up (if I knew how to add the picture here I would).

What on earth should I do??

I have always been so careful. Around Easter I was really sick and this is when I suspect this might have happened as we weren't having sex for the 4 weeks I was on my period.

This is the worst time for me, I don't know what I am going to do or how I am going to get through this. Lately I have had some right sided pelvic pain and thought that perhaps I was going to need my appendix out.

Has anyone been through something like this? I am very much freaking out.

" He took a risk as much as she did. "

Yup-he must have known that Op was off the pill & using an app so was willing to take a chance.

Huggybear16 it is NEVER OK to tell another person whether to keep, or not keep a baby, even if they ask you to. It is has to be 100% personal decision.

Who cares who is responsible or why? The most important thing is OP gets scanned to check she isn't in any danger.

People fuck, contraception or not, there's a chance of pregnancy.

And sometimes STIs too

Huggybear16

Why don't you let the OP and her partner worry about "bringing a child into this"! - None of your business!

The OP did not ask for opinions on her financial situation

OP literally asked mumsnetters what she could do. I'm not giving unsolicited advice here.

I didn't tell her what to do either.
I suggested she think about all the options, which is a completely reasonable and sensible suggestion. The irony of your post is laughable given that your ONLY contributions to the thread have been to have a go at me.

Perhaps read the OP, read the thread, try to understand the context before jumping on a poster's response.

And yes, perhaps the OP and her OH are the ones to worry about this - but OP asked us here first.

OP stop apologising to your bf. This isn't your fault. He knew what was happening with the lack of contraception so you have joint responsibility for this pregnancy.
Call your GP just now. Tell them about the positive test and the pain. Then follow their advice.
This must be overwhelming. I hope you're ok

Do not wait for the pain to get worse or more frequent as another poster suggested.

Sharp, stabbing pains are an early sign of an ectopic , as is shoulder pain. You may also bleed so even if you think your period has started get checked out. I am not sure if your PCOS might increase your risk factor here too.

Please listen to what we are saying.

You say that you can’t afford the private hospital but you do have insurance, can you get a GP appointment?

You think this happened when you were ill over Easter. Is this because you think the pill stopped working?
The Easter weekend was 5 weeks ago. Given that your periods are irregular it makes it hard to calculate but you could be about 3 weeks post implantation, certainly enough time to get a positive test.

Get some more tests to check. Then if they are positive and you are still in pain then go to the GP.

I can't see where anyone has tried to lay the blame at the OP's door. We all know it takes two to make a baby. From the OP it was unclear whether or not she was happy being pregnant. The whys and wherefores of how she got there are rather unimportant - indeed the fact that she is pregnant is a surprise given her fertility issues. I can only say that there's no 'right' time to have a baby; it really will have to be a case of weighing up your life as it is and your options going forward. If the cost of a scan was prohibitive, in addition to being in a rocky relationship, then I personally would question whether or not it was the right decision, for me. For multiple others everything 'works out in the end' - I don't have that sort of disposition.

I hope you are okay, OP and it's not ectopic

My only advice OP is to get the pregnancy confirmed at the doctor first before you tell him for sure (thats if you haven't already).

There is never a right time to have a baby but if he has a good job then I am sure you can both do this together!

Congrats! So happy or you. Wish it was me!

Blondequeenie the OPs pregnancy may be ectopic.

Hopefully your lo is ok. Your 38 and he doesn't sound like he's angry. This may be your one chance.
Take care of yourself 😘

OP how are you?

I don't quite follow your dates to be honest. If you think you might have been pregnant whilst having an operation and strong medication, then you need to see your GP asap. Good Luck