First night out after having DC

[incogneto]

How long after having DC before you had a night out?

I've planned a night out on June 1st for my birthday - my parents are having DS overnight. I'll be over a month post partum then.

My brother was critical of this and said it was too soon. Now I'm rethinking it and feel really guilty for even considering it 😥

AIBU?

I had a night out for Christmas when my little girl was 3.5 months old, she was away overnight with my mum. I also went to Thorpe Park for a day when she was 1 month old whilst she was in the care of loving grandparents.

The first time I left her for a couple of hours was to register her birth, she was at home and my mum came over to watch her so I didn't have to drag her out. I also went to get my hair done when shewas a few weeks old.

If I didn't leave her straight away, I still wouldn't have now. I'm a single parent so having a break isn't as easy as handing her over in the evening to a partner while I'm still around. I was even comfortable enough to leave her from 2 months old to work 6-10hrs a week in the evening so I could afford nice things for her and baby groups etc.

There is zero shame in leaving baby for a night. Everyone deserves a break and baby isn't going to know any different (well my didn't anyway!)

Although, I must say the night out was not worth it. Just a hangover. My second overnight away from her was better - went to centre parcs for my cousin's 21st!

Personally I'd probably rather either my mum came to mine - or we'd go back to theirs after the night out (they can still do the night feeds if they want to help) - at least for the first trip out without them.

Yes we all have to do it at some point but to go from nothing to 12 hours seems a huge jump
I felt bad enough at 2 weeks when I left her to go to the shop despite her being with her grandmother and was probably a max of 30 minutes (my youngest was 24 hours old when I did the quick 30 minute trip to the shop and left him with my husband)

6 weeks with my first. Went out for dinner with DH for my 30th birthday.

First baby 10 months, second baby over a year, 3rd baby about 7 months. Breastfeeding makes it tricky but also I just didn't want to go out. Days are hectic and I'm tired. If I could have a break from the kids I would probably just nap at the mo!

Your instinct told you it was fine until your brother stuck his beak in. Go with your gut.

The one thing i have learnt about being a parent is that you shouldn't listen to anyone else about how you should parent.

The guilt list is endless - you mustn't love your baby if you have a night out, if you go back to work fulltime, if you send them to holiday club, if you allow them to eat anything other than organic free range food, the list goes on and on.

It's nobody's business. You do what you think is right.

I left my baby overnight at 4 months but honestly that's because it was the first opportunity I had. I would have loved a night off before that.

Has your brother questioned why your partner is going out? I bet not. Dads don't get these guilt trips and don't play martyrs. Some women love the martyrdom, Christ knows why.

Left with husband probably about three months. Left for a few hours with someone else - 10 months. Left over night? About 18 months.

My youngest is 4 and I still haven't had a night out or a night away from him. Not saying that's ok for everyone. Go for it if that's what you want to do. Everyone's different.

Your brother can fuck right off.

Seriously. I do not worship at the altar of mummy martyrdom.

You will have a lovely night out, your little one will be well looked after.

You are a person in your own right, with your own identity and your own needs. You do not need to be relinquish every bit of yourself just because you happen to have a child.

Also everything that @Ninkaninus said

Someone will always judge you, whether you left them at 3 months or 13 years, you literally cannot win at parenting in some peoples eyes.

Do you feel you will enjoy the night?
Is your child with someone you trust?
Will you be a better mother for doing something for yourself?

If you are answering yes then go for it!

I will be leaving my baby for a night away at around 16 weeks.

It doesn't matter what anyone else would do, has done nor randomly thinks, including your DB. Do what you want to do because you deserve to feel happy; right now it sounds like you really want a night out so have one, your baby will be fine with your parents I'm sure. Maybe plan an option to go back and stay at your mum's afterwards, so it's just the evening? Sorry to hear the breastfeeding to get to combi-feeding isn't working out, I think that was you? There's still time, hopefully it'll happen for you.

DH had a night out at 3 months, I had a night out at 4 months, in both cases back in about 4/5 hours and the other one looked after DS. We haven't left him overnight with anyone else yet. I think my sister was dropping them off with mum from about 3 weeks, because that worked for her.

@incogneto we went on a date night at 3 weeks old, my mum babysat at ours. Baby was 12 weeks when she stayed at my mums for the night.

She probably stays away 1 night a month,and wehave an evening away feom her 1 or 2 times a month. no way i could go months or years without a night off!!

Less than a week for me. I was young, felt fine etc. I got torn apart on the last thread about this subject

Less than a week?? I was still John Wayne-ing less than a week after all mine!

I’m in awe of your sprightly vagina!

😂 I think it's just because I was young at the time and had been lucky enough to have had a very easy labour.

You do with whatever you feel comfortable with. Your baby will be with his grand parents and it's only overnight. They obviously did a good job of bringing up you so there's nothing to worry about.
Spending quality time alone with your DP and friends will be good for you.