First night out after having DC

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How long after having DC before you had a night out?

I've planned a night out on June 1st for my birthday - my parents are having DS overnight. I'll be over a month post partum then.

My brother was critical of this and said it was too soon. Now I'm rethinking it and feel really guilty for even considering it 😥

AIBU?

And I agree with WhatALearningCurve, please ignore the martyr mums who won’t leave their children for 10 years because they are ‘utterly in love’ with them, it doesn’t make you a better mother just because you never have time to yourself.

You most certainly are NOT 'a shit mum' OP. You'll be leaving your baby with his loving grandparents who you know are going to look after him and keep him safe.

The only person who's a shit is your brother. Tell him to keep his smart remarks to himself and to mind his own business

Enjoy your night out x

Our first night out was to the theatre last Sunday DS is five and a bit months and sleeps through, I fed and settled him to bed then a family member came and watched him, we were out around three hours. DH has been out to the cinema with a friend a few times and to his hobby every other week from about 6 weeks.

Most of my friends would say I'm not the maternal type I don't coo over babies it was never my life's ambition to be a mother, I still wouldn't want to be a SAHM, but honestly I just haven't felt the need to leave him. At 4 weeks pp we were two weeks out of hospital, he was cluster feeding, I had blistered and infected nipples, no way would I have wanted a night out!

Forgit to day, that is MY choice and prime are having a dig about me being 'clingy' etc. You make the choice you are happy with and ignore your brother.

OP do whatever feels right for you. Some people wait a decade to have a night away which I personally think is a bit nuts, but it’s whatever a person feels comfortable with.

Some people turn these threads into a weird competition, ‘I waited longer to have a night out therefore I love my child more than you’ 🙄

You are leaving your baby with loving family members. There’s nothing to feel guilty about.

10 days here, went out for a few hours. It’s a while ago now (he’s now 28) and I was a youngish mum by today’s standards (25), but all I remember is a massive sense of relief at not being responsible! I wasn’t BF which obviously helped, but my mum came over for a few hours and it was wonderful and hugely appreciated. Do what’s right for you.

Baby 1 was around 9 weeks when went for a meal with dh.. he was breastfed so only stayed out around 3 hours. Then was supposed to have an overnight at 12 weeks but he wouldn't settle. Luckily we were in the room next door..managed a night away when he was 10 months.

Similar story with ds2... again no overnights until around 9 months. But not for want of trying!

I think its much harder if breastfeeding as need to express, get baby to take a bottle etc. Not impossible though!

Enjoy your night out and congratulations on new baby!

Oh gosh it's completely individual! And no-one should make you feel guilty about it. You say it would do you good, your baby will be well-cared for so what's the problem?! Do what's right for you. Enjoy your night out!

I wouldn’t have wanted or been able to leave my children overnight so soon.
I breastfed then all so that makes a difference.
If you think you will be able to enjoy being away then go for it, you know he’s safe so all good.

4 weeks DD1, 2 weeks DD2 and DS3 is 5 weeks but I haven’t had a night it yet as he’s a very clingy baby who doesn’t sleep and cries all the time.

With DD1 my mum keep her and was going to keep her overnight as it was my friends 21st party, but I was very uneasy about leaving her so only had a few drinks then went home to my mums after the party and spent the night there.

DD2 was with her dad at home while I went out for a few hours.

After a month I was barely leaving to house to go to Tesco! But I had an emergency section and was very tired after a nine year gap between the other kids

It would definitely do me some good. As I said I've had an horrendous few months followed by an even more horrendous birth.

I would never say yes if I didn't feel up to it. Yes I'm tired but it's been months anyway since I had some decent sleep so that's nothing different.

I love my DS more than life itself and would hate to be judged for one night out in over 12 months

Go for it! I absolutely would have, my DD wouldn't take a bottle tho, so 5 months in I'm yet to have more than 2 hours away. It's really important for you to have some time to make you feel 'you' and that in no way makes you a bad parent! Enjoy your night

Agree it would be totally different if I was bf'ing

I had my first night out this wkd. Dd is 14 months old. But has older siblings so hard to leave all 3.

With DD we had evenings out when she was 3 and then 4 months old.... both concerts which we’d bought tickets for before finding out I was pregnant.
I found it really hard, was tired, grumpy and emotional both evenings!

Then the next time was when she was 2 1/2 to stay over at a wedding.... got food poisoning!

FINALLY had a successful night away when she was 3 1/2 for dhs Birthday.... while 6 months pregnant with dc2.

Think it may be a while before we succeed again......

My baby was 10 days old when I went out. It's no ones business what you do. If you're happy to go out, then go out.

Its up to how you feel. Ignore anyone judging you or saying "no way". You can do as you please, its your life

I waited 3 months, my best friend waiting around a month like you and she was so relieved and happy to just have fun with her friends after a month of unbelievable stress

Let your hair down and have fun OP x

I think there's always going to be judgey people no matter what but I need to remember everyone's different. I may still change my mind yet but I'm not sure.

At this moment in time I would go, purely because I think I deserve a bit of fun after the past few months

Nobody can (or should) tell you how you should feel!

It was too soon for me personally. But that’s not to say everyone is the same!

If you want to go, go. It’s nobody else’s business!

Don’t commit to anything in advance because you don’t know how you’ll be feeling. I didn’t go out for about 12 months because my daughter was breastfed and a terrible sleeper so I was just too tired.

As long as you are happy then do it.

Yanbu enjoy

Crumbs, not RTWH but if you are happy and comfortable with DS staying at your parents' - then do it.

Don't listen to other people unless it's somehow who knows you inside out and you trust. You need to do what you feel comfortable with - if you have any deep worries (you'll be a bit apprehensive but that's normal) then have a rethink.

Hope you have a lovely time, no matter what you do and congratulations on the new baby!!

You might find that you don't want to go out, nearer the time.
You might find that you do want to go out, only be out an hour or 2 before you go home due to missing your baby or sheer tiredness!
You might find that you have a great night out knowing your child is in safe hands and you are able to enjoy some grown up company and a change of scenery.

Any of those is possible and all of them are fine. But none of them are your brother's business! I would tell him that he can make that call after he gives birth, but until then, you're getting on just fine without his opinion!