To ask how much you spend on presents for kids you don't know?

[TessieVanKendre]

My DD started reception September and has been invited to a fair few parties. Thing is, I always feel obliged to take a present for the child ( which I absolutely have no problem with at all) my problem is, I never know what to get and how much to spend. I try not to go over £10, but you don't really know if that's too much or too little.

What do you buy for boys and what do you buy for girls? (turning 5-6)

At that age my go to was the busy boxes you get with a book, some figures then the tin to keep. £5/6 per child. Now DS is 7 the spend has gone up a bit maybe £10 per child but far fewer parties so can manage it ok.

I spend £5
You can go to Poundland and get colouring pencils, colouring books, stickers

Makes a good present

And my daughter makes a card

I hope the "no gift parties" have also stopped party bags then, it's only fair.

I personally think it's a bit shit for the kids not to get gifts, it's once a year, they are excited, why must people be so tight and limit gifts? Mine have a big family so wouldn't be that bothered, but others have a much smaller group.

I don't understand the excitement for the party bags either, but all kids seem to love them, so why not.

For the younger ones, it's great practice to write the thank you cards anyway, disguised homework!

Stock a few toys in the January sales, it doesn't need to be such a big deal.

£5-£10 I don’t buy plastic tat, usually a book or craft item

I love the justification of “it’s all plastic tat no one needs” for being tighter than a gnats bum

@PamelaX which kids needs 23 presents plus all the stuff they get from family?????
Party bags are usually a book.
Kids that age are quite happy with a party (which at our school are -shock horror - also shared). If you don’t teach them that mountains of presents are necessary, they won’t miss them. Everybody to their own, but you really don’t need to feel pity for them

I’m firmly in the camp of putting a five/ten pound note (depending on age of child/closeness of friendship) in a card. If I’m particularly organised I might wrap it up with a box of Maltesers. I like to think if a few people do the same, birthday child can go and choose something big that they really want, which seems far less wasteful than receiving lots of make your own jewellery/paint your own pot sets.

Needs 🤣 what a miserable life. No one needs any birthday/ Christmas/ Easter presents. You don’t spend life only being awarded what you need (if you do it’s a miserable one)

Beanbags I’m not talking a fancy party with extortionate amounts spent. I’m talking what it costs to run a party in a local church/community centre and actually feed the children - there isn’t some magic way to do this for free, and we don’t all have gardens suitable for parties before someone suggests this.
I don’t expect to be “reimbursed” either but I would bring less of a gift to an adult’s house who is sticking a pizza in an oven for tea than I would to one who has booked a venue and arranged a party in it, why wouldn’t I? I think a fiver is fine, but the “any old tat that’s cheap” approach seems disrespectful to me, especially when coming from affluent people.
My dc only get presents from us and one other relative, not everyone is inundated at home either.

Not a fancy party at all. We had 40 children and their parents to our last one and the food was about £300 and ran out quickly too. Then you have to have something for them to do- bouncy castle (£100) entertainer (at least £200)

I do love throwing children’s parties though

I always give a £10 book tolken

Urgh. We used to get so many of these it does my head in. It's such a virtue signalling gift to give unless you know the child is really in to reading books.

We rarely buy books, when we do it is online and book tokens can't be used online. Book tokens are a complete headache for us and hardly ever get used. I don't even know where the ones we used have ended up.

DS is in reception and has been invited to 3 parties so far - no one has thrown a whole class party yet. I felt £10 was the limit (£20 on his best friend who we occasionally see outside of school), but if you buy during 2 for £15 etc that’s better.
If he was having a party or two every single month I’d probably shop a bit smarter or start refusing invites, we don’t have a lot of disposable income.

I spend £5-10 but as pp have said, I try to get stuff on sale. Usually a Lego set, Busy Book, Orchard Game etc. Aldi have these lovely gardening sets in at the moment for around £7 and i've bought two of them for summer birthdays. If I see something that's a bargain I'll pick a couple up and shove it in the 'birthdays box' with the 5 for a pound cards and fairly generic wrapping paper.

Ikea and Tiger are great for little gifts (depending on age)

How do people afford or justify £10?

3 parties a month every month?

Your kids can't possibly be friends with all of these kids and it is possible to say no. 30 quid a month wouldn't be missed. I'm wondering if it would be acceptable if someone asked how can you not afford 30 quid a month?

our school has a rule

This is nonsense. Schools can't impose rules on parents for activities happening outwith the school.

We get stuff from The Works, I check the special deals on Amazon when I'm making an order, occasionally pick stuff up in WHSmith etc when they have promotional offers on, we keep anything that DD gets duplicates of, etc. We keep a few presents in a box hidden away (along with DD's presents), so we generally have a few to choose from. We would usually spend £5-8 per present.

And this is “causes of global warming” in a oner.

Over the top parties and a ton of tat in party bags and gifts.

No, they don’t need presents. It’s not the 1970’s. The charity shops, car boots and eBay are full of toys if your kids want toys. Pots of slime when it’s not in a set are less than a £1.
Fun party, just close friends, cake in the bag at the end. Apparently we all have to change behaviour for furure generations. Perfect place to start.

£15-20 when we lived in London. People here seem to spend less more like £10. I usually go for Lego sets.

I've started putting a £5 in the card & wrapped up a box of chocs, saves the faff of having the think about it. I know I'd certainly appreciate money more than lots of £5 toys!

At that age about £5. We went though a stage of buying a cheap DVD and sweets - the cat in the hat went down well for about a year. The trick is to find a lesser known film that has been out a while or you risk getting them something they already have.

I remember those days well - parties every other weekend! Always used to get colouring stuff or books or card games or a t.shirt - never spent more than a fiver if they weren't close friends! That seemed to be the norm & we all stuck to it!!

We do £15 but it’s a very small class so we only have about a dozen parties to attend in any given year.

Thanks people. I will stock up from now on. I never even thought of The Works.

@yabbers surely you can just stop at the bookshop on your way home one day and use them? (I don’t gift book tokens obviously because it’s a bit rude not to mention I just find them a bit weird) but it’s definotely not virtue signalling to assume that children want books or that parents regularly buy them. It’s a normal purchase not a goat for a village in Nepal.

But it is plastic tat that no one needs. And often people don’t even open the toys they’re given if they don’t want them, they gift them on! It’s just another example of totally needless consumerism, party bags too. You have a party for the experience and the fun, not the stufff they get given.