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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much you spend on presents for kids you don't know?

121 replies

TessieVanKendre · 12/05/2019 07:32

My DD started reception September and has been invited to a fair few parties. Thing is, I always feel obliged to take a present for the child ( which I absolutely have no problem with at all) my problem is, I never know what to get and how much to spend. I try not to go over £10, but you don't really know if that's too much or too little.

What do you buy for boys and what do you buy for girls? (turning 5-6)

OP posts:
Camomila · 12/05/2019 08:14

I usually look in Aldi, there's often nice kids books around £3-4.
Otherwise around £5-6 If I get something in Asda.

I'd say around half the parents I know do what I do (lots of orchard games, playdough, and colouring books) and half spend a bit more (probably around £10-15)...DS is only 3 so everyone I get presents for/DS gets presents from knows each other.

Moorfields · 12/05/2019 08:16

My go to gifts are Hobbycraft box of 30 gel pens for £5 & a big cactus stationary set in a pencil case from card factory for £1.99. I add a bar of chocolate to the stationary set & job done. I don't spend more than £5 per person particularly if there's about 20+ parties to attend.

3brightstars3 · 12/05/2019 08:16

I have three children and have used the Argos 2 for 15 toys and a cheap card.

If i see something cheaper in the sales for £5-6 I get that and if it's a friend they seem to like I may go to £10

Also as they got older 9-12 i just put £5 in a card with a bag of £1 sweets and i know my kids get really excited about getting money at this age

Whereistheglove · 12/05/2019 08:20

£10 .
I’d struggle to get anything decent for £5 and would probably just put the £5 in a card.
You doing need to accept all the party invites, it can seem never ending

kateandme · 12/05/2019 08:21

wilkos has some great gift.diy kits,painting books.make your own kits.sometimes seed kits.paint your own sunflower pots and seeds etc.
little bobbles or slides from asda or sainsburys.
supermarket t-shirt.
aldi sometimes has some great stuff.

Llioed · 12/05/2019 08:21

My DD is 4, and is in pre-school nursery at the local first school, and has been invited to parties.
I tend to buy the 10 cards for £1 from the Works. Card Factory also sometimes have that offer on, too.
As for presents I tend to put in a book, bag of sweets and a small toy or T-shirt (worth £3/£4)
Overall the present come to about £5/£6)
The Works did have an offer on their books (usually 3 books for £5) but when I went a couple of months ago the offer was 5 books for £5, so I stocked up.
I also got a points card for the Works so if I build up enough points some of these presents will be free!
(PS - I don’t work for them, haha, I just think they are great for present ideas)

Greyhound22 · 12/05/2019 08:24

£5-7 ish at that age and a card.

Those of you 'refusing to spend money on a child you don't know' maybe don't accept the invite? My son had a party for his 4th - the hall was £50 bouncy castle etc £150 food £100ish party bags £50 and cake £40 and I didn't know some of the kids. I'm just glad they had a lovely time - if someone couldn't afford a present it wouldn't bother me at all but the attitude of 'why should I?' Is a bit mean isn't it?

FredaNerkk · 12/05/2019 08:27

Approx £15. Primary school age.

SallyWD · 12/05/2019 08:27

About £7

Thatnovembernight · 12/05/2019 08:28

I agree with the poster who mentioned The Works. There are often craft/activity kits that are 2 for £10 that are good to tuck away for when needed.
Smiggle often has (online) sales of up to 60% off. I just did an order where I stashed some bits for my own kids to come out at Christmas and also bought two presents to take to parties that were 60% off so only around £6 each for a nice quality gift. Both boys and girls seem like slime/putty pots and kits and pencil cases with lots of sections. Also the lockable notepads etc. My son and his friends like anything with a superhero on it!

That said, quite a few people just tucked a £5 note into a card at my sons birthday party. He ended up with £35 and was thrilled to be able to go to a shop and chose something nice.

beela · 12/05/2019 08:32

£5-10 for reception (up to £15 for best friends), but I get things that are on offer or in the sale and save them.

DS is in y3 and they have smaller parties with close friends so probably more like £10-15.

Passthecherrycoke · 12/05/2019 08:34

“Tinyteatime

I refuse to spend money on kids I don’t know. I’d rarely spend £10 on a present for my own children! But I’m crafty (sewing mainly ) so so far I’ve made some little hair clips or hair bows and given those. Not so easy to make for boys though, not sure what I’ll do then.”

Why not? Don’t you like giving presents to people (even your own children?!)

JonSnowsFurCoat · 12/05/2019 08:37

Our school has a rule that you either invite all the girls, all the boys or she whole clas. It’s a small class. We have a rule that no more than £5 on presents.

Tinyteatime · 12/05/2019 08:39

£10 is a lot of money on a present for a 3/4 year old. If I do buy mine things it’s usually 2nd hand. New on b/days and Xmas in which case I would spend more than £10. Plus it’s so often plastic crap that the child either doesn’t really want/re gifts/ or plays with for 5 mins. With my close friends (the children I do know ) we have a pact that we don’t do presents . I wish more parents would say no presents as I think it’s all a bit pointless. I certainly will when we start doing parties. Most children don’t need more £5/£10 ‘stuff’.

thethoughtfox · 12/05/2019 08:40

£10-15 Usually a craft activity or small Lego set from Amazon

Whereistheglove · 12/05/2019 08:41

Your school can pass rules on parties, out with school time? How do they enforce that?

Imustbemad00 · 12/05/2019 08:42

I don’t have much money but I usually aim for £10. If I can’t find anything or don’t know the child very well I normally put the £10 in the card. I’d feel stingy to put a fiver in the card as mine have always got £10 from various people. Mine are not getting invited to parties monthly though otherwise I couldn’t do it. Probably only been to 3 parties this school year.

Foreverexhausted · 12/05/2019 08:42

Around £10 per gift and ALWAYS something I would be happy to buy my own child. I can't stand 'tat' gifts, I would rather the giver buys a book or a £5 book token than something that will never be looked at/played with, is full of tiny bits or will be broken by the end of the day.

Foreverexhausted · 12/05/2019 08:44

I dont understand these 'school rules' on gifts, why would the school tell you what you can spend on gifts? Why is it anything to do with the school?

twirlypoo · 12/05/2019 08:44

£10-15 is about average here. When I accept the invitation I usually as if there’s anything the child would particularly like if I don’t know them very well.

Agree you absolutely can’t turn up with out a present and you sound reluctant though!

Longislandicetee · 12/05/2019 08:45

I wouldn’t dream of not taking a present. The kid/their parent has been kind enough to invite my child, why on earth wouldn’t I take a gift just because I don’t know them?!Shock

Standard in our school is £15 where you don’t really know the child and up to £25 where the kids are close. Private so not sure if that makes a difference. There are 3 parties this weekend.

clairedelalune · 12/05/2019 08:53

£5 for normal party, more if child is a proper friend or family friend; I went with what would be a typical colleague leaving do/special occasion contribution amount.
I am horrified by people spending so much on parties and then moaning about the presents; as a parent you have chosen to spend that amount, you don't have to. I would much rather not spend weekends at parties, but go to them because i know how upset the child would be if people didn't show. I think you can get nice, non tat, stuff for £5 - you just shop carefully!

PamelaX · 12/05/2019 08:55

£10 - £15

I tend to buy in bulk in the sales, so my money goes a bit further. I try to get things they should like.

If I was going for tat, I'd rather buy a magazine or a Kinder surprise, or a book from the pound shop. Otherwise I prefer to spend a tiny bit more for a decent toy than wasting money on something that will be binned on the day.

I have copied some of the gifts given to my own kids, right price, right idea, so a few people have received the same thing!

Yura · 12/05/2019 08:55

Our school thankfully mostly does “no gifts please” parties. otherwise i buy 3 for 2 deals where items usually cost around £9-10, but are reduced

BeanBag7 · 12/05/2019 08:58

@Tunnockswafer
Parties cost a fortune for the parents - especially class ones, rent a hall, an entertainer or bouncy castle, loads of food, party bags. The party bag alone costs more than the gifts some of you are giving.

That's the parents choice, though. I don't plan a party expecting to be reimbursed by the guests, I plan it because my child will enjoy it and so will their friends. Nobody is forcing them to have an extortionate party, excessive party bags etc.
I buy gifts at half price or less so the actual "value" of the gift is more.