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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think the general population are shit at sex?

104 replies

Fiveredbricks · 11/05/2019 12:14

Watching Sextape on C4 after catching a glimpse on Gogglebox 🙈

Aibu to think if that's how half the country shag and think they're having 'good sex' - it's no wonder so many of us are totally miserable or not that fussed about it 😂

That stupid woman's giggle would make me lose my hard-on and I don't even a c*ck 😳

OP posts:

Tomkinz · 12/05/2019 18:13

I went to see "American Pie - The Wedding" at the cinema with my girlfriend and it was absolutely packed. (It was her choice).

Part way through it there was a line from the groom's father and it instantly choked me up and I started laughing. Girlfriend asked me what was so funny and I said "I'll tell you later".

The only thing that made me remember this was that out of a packed cinema the only other ones laughing were a girl behind me and another girl quiet a few seats away. No one else had even cracked a grin.

It made me wonder why so many didn't understand the line and if their sex life was pretty boring. I reached the conclusion it probably was.

simiisme · 12/05/2019 18:15

I found it interesting that the two old ladies on Gogglebox said that they'd been perfectly satisfied with their love lives during their marriages.
Expectations are too high these days; unless you're swinging off the chandeliers, or re-enacting 50 Shades, you're supposed to be dissatisfied
If you've been in a relationship for years and still want to have sex now and again, I'd say that's pretty successful

StreetDreams · 12/05/2019 18:34

This is a very depressing thread. My own research, conducted over several decades, had previously suggested that only around 30% of the male population were shit at sex. Things clearly ain't wot they used to be.

Tomkinz · 12/05/2019 18:34

simiiseme - I always refused to eat Heinz salad cream. I thought that salads tasted perfectly OK without it. I didn't know what it tasted like and was quite happy not knowing anything more about it.

One day I was bought a sandwich and bit into it without being told it had salad cream on it. Cut a long story short I loved it and always have it on my salads now.

Sometimes you don't know what you're missing until you know what you're missing...

JacquesHammer · 12/05/2019 18:38

It made me wonder why so many didn't understand the line and if their sex life was pretty boring. I reached the conclusion it probably was

No doubt bolstering your own ego in the process

Gwenhwyfar · 12/05/2019 18:40

"It made me wonder why so many didn't understand the line and if their sex life was pretty boring. I reached the conclusion it probably was."

So what was the line and why was it funny?

CrackersDontMatter · 12/05/2019 18:42

Tomkinz - I totally agree. I thought I had a great sex life with my exH. Until he left (he was the first person I'd been with) and I then had sex with other people and realised it had actually been boring as fuck.

Vivianebrezilletbrooks · 12/05/2019 18:46

I'd never watch anything like that in a million years as I'm not interested being on the ace spectrum.
The guys who tend to brag that they're fantastic and have no problems with it are most likely to be full of s*!
The people in that have got to be getting paid to be making that part of their lives public. Nice work if you can get it,etc, I guess...!
Not having good sex is kinda of a first world problem. I don't see why it's a massive issue in anyone's life unless there's not much else in their lives.
But then I suppose I would say that due to my orientation.
It's easy to gloat at people whose sex lives aren't perfect when yours is.
Tbh that whole entire side of life I've always steered clear of, since I don't understand any of it and most of it makes no sense to me. I question things a lot though that most of which most people wouldn't.

SimonJT · 12/05/2019 19:03

@Vivianebrezilletbrooks

For some people (me included) having a good sex life is really important, I would give up many luxuries before I would give up satisfying sex life.

Different strokes for different folk.

Vivianebrezilletbrooks · 12/05/2019 19:05

I'd rather have the luxuries tbh but to each their own.

JacquesHammer · 12/05/2019 19:06

You say

each to their own Viviane but then you say:-

I don't see why it's a massive issue in anyone's life unless there's not much else in their lives

Fairly sneery, no?

NannyRed · 12/05/2019 19:07

First, they are hiding under their bedding. Hardly surprising when they have a tv camera ‘watching’

Second, it’s done for tv. It’s not an actual self help program.

Third, there are rules as to what can and can not be shown. An erect penis is not ever allowed on tv.

Four. Does you tv not have an off button? Instead of moaning about programs, just watch University Challenge or Great British Bake off. Don’t watch a Game of Thrones, it has tits.(and cocks)

Vivianebrezilletbrooks · 12/05/2019 19:25

@JacquesHammer

It's a true point. Sneery or not it's still a small problem.

We live in an over sexualized/sex obsessed society and people thinking something like that is a massive problem is very much indicative of it.

I've been called some things before but sneery is not one of them.adds it to the list

MrsKCastle · 12/05/2019 19:26

Maybe you've got it the wrong way round OP. Maybe some of us are having what you consider 'shit sex' because we're not that fussed. It just isn't that big a deal for everyone. You could offer me the most amazing sex ever and I'd probably still pass it up for a good book and more sleep.

JacquesHammer · 12/05/2019 19:33

It's a true point. Sneery or not it's still a small problem

It might be true for you. I find a good sex life incredibly important. I have plenty other stuff going on in my life, for me it’s a really big part of staying mentally healthy.

Tomkinz · 12/05/2019 19:34

Gwenhwyfar

The groom's Dad ...Marriage is not about animal lusting, and kinky sex games. It's not so much about who's the dog and who's the fire hydrant tonight...

Still makes me laugh!

Bignosenobum · 12/05/2019 19:41

Hang will watch ...

StreetDreams · 12/05/2019 19:59

Marriage is not about animal lusting, and kinky sex games. It's not so much about who's the dog and who's the fire hydrant tonight

Oh god, or maybe it's just not a very funny joke.

winniestone37 · 12/05/2019 20:04

Delicious sweeping statement there my dear!!!

thehappyegg · 12/05/2019 20:11

I've had a lot of sex with a fair few different men. I know exactly what "amazing" sex is like. The best sex I've ever had was with a work colleague I was seeing for a few months, not the man who is now my husband.

Said colleague was otherwise a knob, I was glad to see the back of him tbh.

I love my husband, I'm attracted to him, our sex life is good. I too think that expectations are too high. In normal long term relationships sexual attraction and frequency of sex ebbs and flows; sometimes my husband and I will have sex several times a week and sometimes we won't do it for a month.

Sex is not the be all and end all.

Gwenhwyfar · 12/05/2019 21:01

"For some people (me included) having a good sex life is really important, I would give up many luxuries before I would give up satisfying sex life."

And for some people it's not so important in itself, but is important for the relationship.

clairemcnam · 12/05/2019 21:15

I would not have married my DP if our sex life was not good. But I also suspect if we live long enough, there will come a time when neither of us want sex any more. And yes our sex life has waxed and waned in frequency, and that is okay to. The idea you have to have sex a certain number of time is insane.

justrestinginmybankaccount · 12/05/2019 21:22

But the show isn’t about having shit sex, they are not complaining about that I don’t know how you’ve all watched it and cant see that!

They all seem detached and lost from each other and now their sex lives are suffering too. It’s like the hook into their relationship issues. It’s not really about the sex at all.

I don’t know if they have to make the participants cringe so much (watching themselves have sex, and arse abut the house) that they then feel they’ve done the worst they could possibly do, and now they’re free to just talk candidly.

The couple - husband was autistic and wouldn’t wash - I really felt for her. She seemed so nice.

Original poster

Fiveredbricks · 12/05/2019 21:22

@Tomkinz couldn't have said it better myself 👌☺️

There's a lot of people on here clearly who are very defensive about their 'adequate' sex lives...

Sex isn't the be all and end all, I agree, but I wouldnt eat poorly cooked food or bad cake so why would I settle for crap sex?

This thread is about shit sex, not about the state of your marriage or whatever else.

I also suspect those who are 'not fussed' have also never really had mind blowing sex very often, but then again I don't really do luxuries or drink or handbags or whatever else, often just preferring a good shag over anything anyone else could offer 🤷

OP posts:

Original poster

Fiveredbricks · 12/05/2019 21:24

I get what the show is about @justrestinginmybankaccount my post is that I also observed they're all really bad at having sex and that was my tangent of dismay 😂

OP posts:

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