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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I want another baby 🙈 but husband doesn’t

69 replies

mummy2424 · 10/05/2019 23:44

Hi, I have been with my husband for almost 12 years, we have 3 children...just sold our beautiful house in the country (Scotland) and renting a house and just bought a new plot to build again...but anyway we have a boy12, daughter 11 and another boy 9..husband had a vasectomy in 2010 once last son was born but just recently I’ve been so broody and would love another baby.. how do I even consider asking him 😩

OP posts:
Original poster
mummy2424 · 10/05/2019 23:45

I want another baby 🙈 but husband doesn’t1
Today 23:44 mummy2424

Hi, I have been with my husband for almost 12 years, we have 3 children...just sold our beautiful house in the country (Scotland) and renting a house and just bought a new plot to build again...but anyway we have a boy12, daughter 11 and another boy 9..husband had a vasectomy in 2010 once last son was born but just recently I’ve been so broody and would love another baby.. how do I even consider asking him 😩

OP posts:
user1471517900 · 10/05/2019 23:49

You've been with your DH for almost 12 years but have a 12 year old with him! That's some powerful sperm there!

AlaskanOilBaron · 10/05/2019 23:49

Try being happy with the three children you have, perhaps? There's a reason he had a vasectomy.

Copperandtod · 10/05/2019 23:49

He’s had a vasectomy - you dont

StuckInsideAnEcho · 10/05/2019 23:51

Would broody be picky or would fostering work?

TapasForTwo · 10/05/2019 23:52

Count your blessings, and be grateful that you have the three you already have.

And don't be greedy.

TheVanguardSix · 10/05/2019 23:52

Make peace with it. He’s had the snip.
Get a dog! Best thing I ever did after DC3 (I too wanted a fourth). The dog helped channel my remaining broodiness. 3 teens and a toddler would be mental anyway. You haven’t quite gotten there yet, but you’ll know what I mean in another 18 months!

PurpleDaisies · 10/05/2019 23:54

He’s had a vasectomy. How do you envisage getting pregnant?

edgeofheaven · 10/05/2019 23:59

You've been with your DH for almost 12 years but have a 12 year old with him! That's some powerful sperm there!

I know someone who got pregnant from a casual hook up, they decided to make a go of it so their relationship began after she got pregnant Grin

AlaskanOilBaron · 10/05/2019 23:59

He’s had a vasectomy. How do you envisage getting pregnant?

NHS pays to reverse; NHS funds fourth baby.

NCB2019 · 11/05/2019 00:11

If you're doing a new build you need to make it something extravagant enough to go on grand designs. That way you'll be guaranteed a baby.

Trust me I know, I've watched a lot of episodes. The wife always ends up pregnant in Grand Designs.

Trebla · 11/05/2019 00:14

We have 3, I'm pregnant with my 4th due in 4 weeks. 4th was a consequence rather than a choice. This side of it isnt so rosy. Count your blessings focus on what you can do, and do have and plough those feelings into a project.

PurpleDaisies · 11/05/2019 00:19

NHS won’t find a vasectomy reversal for a fourth baby.
www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/vasectomy-reversal-nhs/

fullprice · 11/05/2019 00:36

@NCB2019
Ha ha. Grin

Reaah · 11/05/2019 01:22

Do you really want to go though all the sleepless night and toddler years again?

The reversal could take a year or two and that's even if the reversal actually works.

Reaah · 11/05/2019 01:23

How old are you both?

Chloemol · 11/05/2019 01:25

Well you know the saying ‘ I want never gets’

Sparklesocks · 11/05/2019 01:27

I too am confused about how you both have a 12 year old if you’ve been together ‘almost 12 years’ !

But really the fact is, if one partner doesn’t want another child there’s no working around that. You’ve been together a long time so you should be able to speak openly with him about what you want, but you need to accept that if he doesn’t share your view then there’s nowhere else to go.

Weenurse · 11/05/2019 01:28

Try fostering a puppy, as much work as a baby,

user1473878824 · 11/05/2019 01:40

“How do I consider asking him?” I guess by asking him? But might be difficult when he’s had the snip. If he doesn’t want another are you going to take his feelings into that?

JeezOhGeeWhizz · 11/05/2019 01:46

YABU.
How would the existing children feel about a new baby?

OneHanded · 11/05/2019 01:53

Exactly what I was going to say @NCB2019 !

Ilady · 11/05/2019 02:45

You already have a 12, 11 and 9 year old. Why would you put yourself back to the baby stage again? Do you feel that due to your age it could be your last chance to have a baby if you can get your husband on side?
Are you working outside the home? Do you feel your children do not need you as much as they did a few years ago?
My advice is that you start to plan the next stage of your life without adding another baby into the mix. Start to plan the building or buying of your next home. Look into retraining or get a part time job if you spent a few years at home with the children.

MidniteScribbler · 11/05/2019 03:04

He doesn't. That's the end of the subject.

Durgasarrow · 11/05/2019 03:06

Just wait until your kids become teenagers. That will cure you of wanting more babies. Trust me on this.

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