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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be told I need to get fit by DP, I'm size 8-10

60 replies

runningrunningjustto · 10/05/2019 21:52

That really. Plus I have a six month old baby (2nd child). I'm in good shape, slim and can fit nicely into my pre baby clothes. I pretty much lost it when DP said this and DP said I took it the wrong way. What other way am I meant to take it ? The conversation was going quite normally until that point. The chat (over FaceTime) was shut down by me saying how rude and insensitive DP is. How would you react ?

OP posts:
EspressoPatronum · 10/05/2019 21:54

By going fucking mental. Rude arse.

Runkle · 10/05/2019 21:54

Did he mean get fit or lose weight?

Comtesse · 10/05/2019 21:56

He is being pretty out of order. Does he have form for this?

JaneEyre07 · 10/05/2019 21:56

Did he mean physically fit as opposed to looking fit??

If so, it's just about forgivable but if he meant your weight, he's a git.

JustCallMeSliths · 10/05/2019 21:56

Depends. Did he mean you would benefit from improving your cardio health and strength or did he mean you need to lose a few lbs?

And context matters too.

CripsSandwiches · 10/05/2019 21:56

I'd be really pissed off. Unless there was some context you're missing (e.g. YOU: "I really want to a run the London Marathon" HIM "great but you'll have to get really fit first")

Gooseygoosey12345 · 10/05/2019 21:58

It depends, if he means fit as in well and healthy then no, if he means fit as in go to the gym and tone up he's got a bloody cheek!

Drogosnextwife · 10/05/2019 21:58

I would have though he ment get fit not lose weight. Thin people can be unhealthy too.

InterchangeableEmma · 10/05/2019 21:58

He was certainly rude and insensitive to say such a thing over face time. Is he generally an arse?

OTOH it is quite possible to be slim and unfit.

ImNotNigel · 10/05/2019 21:59

Tell him you think it’s a great ideal and you have joined a gym.

Go there two nights a week and half a day each weekend, while he watches the children and does the housework.

greenelephantscarf · 10/05/2019 21:59

are you fit?

totally normal to still have flabby bits 6 months after giving birth.
only you know the tone of dp's words. if he meant 'skinny' when saying 'fit' hwbu

33goingon64 · 10/05/2019 21:59

DH is a fitness freak and I am not. He knows better than to tell me I need to get fit but any hint from me that I might consider e.g. going for a run, then he's so full of encouragement I realise he's been desperate to say something like that.

bridgetreilly · 10/05/2019 22:00

Being fit and being slim are completely different things.

MIA12 · 10/05/2019 22:00

I’m the same size as you and completely unfit. Having a good figure to look at doesn’t necessarily mean you’re fit and healthy!

greenelephantscarf · 10/05/2019 22:01

...missed the facetime bit...

everyone looks 5 pounds chubbier in video calls.

redbedheadd · 10/05/2019 22:02

What was the context of the conversation?

Comtesse · 10/05/2019 22:02

Was Serena Williams back to her peak when her baby was 6 months old? Nope. How many mothers with 6 month olds actually fit?

Ohyesiam · 10/05/2019 22:03

How did it come p in conversation?

If he meant thin, he’s a bit of a twat.
If he meant cardiovascular and muscle tone, why? Have you been getting out o breath.

Original poster
runningrunningjustto · 10/05/2019 22:04

He meant fit as in to tone up, he said this and DP said if I did, I would feel better about things. I'm not even someone to complain about my size ! Im not skinny, just normal looking. I'm doing the lion share of childcare (he works away), just went back to work last week (four days) and have zero family support. There's no chance I can fit a workout in even at home. I'm still livid about this

OP posts:
Iloveacurry · 10/05/2019 22:04

I bet he’s got a six pack! Not.

He’s a twat.

looondonn · 10/05/2019 22:05

Shocking

This isabusive
You just had a baby
How dare he

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 10/05/2019 22:06

You’d need more context to tell really. Can you run? Lift stuff? Do you get very tired after physical activity? If so, then perhaps he’s right? Why he felt the need to highlight it is anyone’s guess, because it doesn’t sound like you welcomed that particular insight.

Thatsnotmyotter · 10/05/2019 22:06

Maybe he was just suggesting that you might benefit from doing some exercise? I don’t really find that a particularly offensive suggestion.

However, what is he doing to support you in this? My DH makes sure I have a couple of baby free hours every day so I can train. It’s not at all impossible to be ‘fit’ with a 6 month old but it requires your partner to be supportive.

Ploppymoodypants · 10/05/2019 22:08

I am in exactly the same position. 6 month old baby, size 10, in Pre baby clothes. DP kept commenting about how unfit I am. I assertained aftwr getting offended me meant my actual health and fitness, not how sexy I was looking 😕 anyway I ignored him.
Until today when I had a riding lesson and my instructor told me there wasn’t much more she could teach me until I improved my fitness levels as I was sweating buckets and bright red, and completely out of breath doing faster work.
So I had to concede that DH is right. So this evening I left him to look after the kids while I went for a run

RoseAndRose · 10/05/2019 22:09

Dress size is a pretty meaningless thing these days.

But as you say you're slim, is he concerned that you are not fit enough (you know what he actually said)

How much exercise and vigorous activity do you do in a typical week!

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