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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu about nursery

81 replies

mummy21boy · 10/05/2019 21:03

So my DS was at nursery for 7hrs today and they didn’t change his nappy once.
I know for a fact it was the same one as it was a different brand to what was in his bag. I have emailed, been promised feedback Monday. Wwud?

OP posts:

Copperandtod · 10/05/2019 21:38

You need to take this further. What else are they not doing that you don’t know about?

Original poster

mummy21boy · 10/05/2019 21:44

The more I think about it the more upset I am. His nappy was quite full but he doesn’t drink enough at nursery which I’ve spoken to them about. He does need encouragement to remember to drink but that’s a whole other issue which I’ve raised and been promised that they would monitor it...

OP posts:

Mummy0ftwo12 · 10/05/2019 21:48

Agree that's shocking, and I would wonder where else are they failing? I would also be looking to switch nurseries.

My son is also in receipt of SEN premium funding at nursery and was non-verbal until recently btw and although toilet trained now it would break my heart to think nappy changes had been missed.

Leftielefterson · 10/05/2019 21:50

Bloody hell OP you’re completely right to be annoyed. Poor little thing. That’s how they get nappy rash. I always worry about my DC because you never really know what the level of care is.

You did the right thing complaining.

Stopandlook · 10/05/2019 21:52

That’s very unusual in my experience and so yes, a big red flag that things aren’t right.

Mrsb134 · 10/05/2019 21:55

If complain to OFSTED... it may be happening to other children!

Original poster

mummy21boy · 10/05/2019 21:55

We were going to change to a preschool attached to his potential school September anyway but not sure if we can change him now or not? Also not sure how to go about complaining further than the nursery manager.. clueless ftm
I’m wondering what they will say Monday. Not sure how they can justify it.. she didn’t even apologise in her reply just said she’d investigate and contact me with a full account of his day first thing Monday...

OP posts:

Mrsb134 · 10/05/2019 21:56

@mrsb134 ** I'd

IceRebel · 10/05/2019 22:00

I’m wondering what they will say Monday.

I bet they'll try to brush it under the carpet. Minimize what happened, blame a trainee, or some such nonsense.

If they can't get the basics right, nappies and ratios, then you can bet they are neglectful in other areas too.

Original poster

mummy21boy · 10/05/2019 22:01

Dh thinks she didn’t apologise in her reply because she’d be admitting they’d done something wrong...

OP posts:

OohItsTheSoundOfThePolice · 10/05/2019 22:18

I'll put my head above the parapet here and say that when my dd was still in nappies, if we were having a busy day and she'd not done a poo I would have left her for 7 hours in a nappy if it wasn't really obviously full. Like your son she needs a lot of encouragement to drink.
I do find it unusual that the nursery left him that long though as IME the nursery changes them routinely every 3 hours and then in between too if they've had a poo.
This would be a red flag for me in that they a) didn't apologise or offer up an explanation immediately and b) that they may have been short staffed. Especially given the fact your son has additional needs. Is there any other areas you've had concerns about?

Copperandtod · 10/05/2019 22:19

7 hours in a nappy because you were busy. You have to be joking surely

Marilynmansonsthermos · 10/05/2019 22:22

That really is bad. I'd be very upset, especially with him being non verbal. I'd be worried that he was being overlooked in other ways. In all honesty I would think about changing nurseries, unless they give you a full and frank apology, and proof that they will change their policy/routine in the future.

SpeedyBojangles · 10/05/2019 22:22

Are they trying in underhand way to encourage you to consider toilet training?

If this is true then that is even worse than forgetting to change it.

Rach182 · 10/05/2019 22:25

7 hours in a nappy because you were busy. You have to be joking surely

Many abies and toddlers are left overnight in the same wet nappy for longer than 7 hours. Sometimes I've forgotten to change my toddlers nappy in the day when it's not obviously full/ no poo. But it's unacceptable and unprofessional for the nursery to do it (in the same way I wouldn't be happy if the nursery plonked my toddler in front of the tv, even if it's something I do).

Copperandtod · 10/05/2019 22:27

WHy is it unacceptable behaviour for a nursery but it’s okay for you? It’s neglectful either way

Original poster

mummy21boy · 10/05/2019 22:29

I’ve never left him in a nappy for 7hrs when at home, I change him even if the nappy isn’t full. It’s really breaking my heart to think of him being overlooked. The more I think about it they were really attentive right up until they got the extra funding and since it’s all kind of sloped off a bit. I’m annoyed I haven’t realised before but his tapestry hasn’t been updated for 2months

OP posts:

OohItsTheSoundOfThePolice · 10/05/2019 22:32

@Copperandtod not joking no. She is in a nappy now for overnight and will be in that nappy til the morning. That'll be 12-13 hours. I don't think 7 hours is unusual or neglectful.

Copperandtod · 10/05/2019 22:34

Being left in a nappy for 7 hours is either unacceptable or it isn’t. It doesn’t depend on who is neglecting the child

OohItsTheSoundOfThePolice · 10/05/2019 22:35

@Copperandtod I've not called anyone neglectful

Copperandtod · 10/05/2019 22:38

I have

OohItsTheSoundOfThePolice · 10/05/2019 22:38

@mummy21boy don't beat yourself up about it though, I would say the fact that you hadn't noticed the tapestry etc would at least nod to the fact that he has been coming home happy from nursery at least?

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 10/05/2019 22:38

This is awful OP, and I'd be concerned about them not supporting him to drink enough given his additional needs, the last thing you want is dehydration or UTIs.

I do leave DS in the same nappy overnight as he sleeps through and I don't want to wake him to change him, we use a different type of nappy and nappy pants rather than standard, in a size up as I've found it keeps him nice and dry, with no leaks, he rolls around a lot. I change him as soon as he wakes up. During the day it is maximum every couple of hours, but he tends to let us know if his nappy is wet. If he's just in a nappy I'll change him as soon as the line goes blue, or if he does a poo, that's an immediate change.

OohItsTheSoundOfThePolice · 10/05/2019 22:39

@Copperandtod i don't think your drama is going to help OP. Off you pop.

Copperandtod · 10/05/2019 22:42

It’s not my drama. I am agreeing with the OP that her son and any child should not be left in a nappy for 7 hours. It’s outrageous in my view and should not happen to any child whether their nursery workers are too busy or their parents are

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