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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sleep before DD 7 is in bed ?

56 replies

AutumnNymph · 10/05/2019 20:43

DD 7 is in the family room watching telly while painting , DH is in the gym. While on weekdays DD is in bed by 8, we are more relaxed when it isn’t a school night. I am knackered and sleepy and mentioned to my DMiL (WhatsApp) that am going to sleep off.

She basically said I am being irresponsible to sleep when DD is alone and awake and anything could happen! DD regularly wakes up before us on weekends and can sort her breakfast out ( cereal and milk / fruits) - it didn’t even strike me that it wasn’t responsible to consider sleeping before her. DD is sensible and I know she won’t open the dorm to anybody or walk out ( which are two instances DMIL mentioned )

AIBU? MIL has offered to keep talking to me until DH comes home to “help me stay awake”

OP posts:
GummyGoddess · 10/05/2019 20:44

Go and tell dd you're going to sleep so she knows she can't just shout for you and it will be fine. She sounds sensible.

123rd · 10/05/2019 20:47

Do you mean actually get yourself dressed and ready and into bed upstairs? It just snuggle on the sofa whilst in the same room as DD?

Original poster
AutumnNymph · 10/05/2019 20:48

@GummyGoddess Yes that’s what I did before mentioning it to MIL ( so she knows I won’t reply to messages - we are discussing a family wedding coming up)

I know DD will just come up and sneak the chance to snuggle into our bed than ours when she is ready 😂 she simply isn’t tired or sleepy while am fading

OP posts:
Original poster
AutumnNymph · 10/05/2019 20:50

@123rd I meant in bed upstairs which is where I am now - can’t stand bloody Alvin and his Chipmunks which is what she has on

OP posts:
PositiveVibez · 10/05/2019 20:52

No. I wouldn't even do that with my 10 yo, who is very sensible.

Not sure why though.

Original poster
AutumnNymph · 10/05/2019 21:05

Oh well DH Will be home soonish anyway -I can just mumsnet until then 😂

OP posts:
JustCallMeSliths · 10/05/2019 21:09

I wouldn't. It's one thing them pottering about for an hour before you're up but another thing leaving them up alone while you go to bed for the night.

Doze on the sofa with her playing next to you or get both of you ready for bed.

Cheby · 10/05/2019 21:11

wouldn't. It's one thing them pottering about for an hour before you're up but another thing leaving them up alone while you go to bed for the night.

Why though? What’s the difference?

OwlBeThere · 10/05/2019 21:14

Your DH will be in soon enough to put her to bed so it’s not like she’s being left to her own devices all night. She’s 7, op is only upstairs. It’s fine.

Original poster
AutumnNymph · 10/05/2019 21:14

@cheby that’s what I can’t understand either.

OP posts:
Iggly · 10/05/2019 21:16

I wouldn’t because it just seems odd.

You’re the responsible adult in charge!

Nanny0gg · 10/05/2019 21:18

I think if you go off into a deep sleep I don't think it's right to go off to bed and leave a 7 year-old up.

megletthesecond · 10/05/2019 21:19

I wouldn't. I hate having to do it but I don't settle down until my kids are in bed.

PamelaX · 10/05/2019 21:23

If another adult is on his way to ensure my kid doesn't stay up all night, at that age I totally would.

If the 7 year old need you, they can call you. Same in the morning when they make their own breakfast.

I wouldn't go to bed with DH and leave a young child downstairs, but yes, it's fine for a little while, and it's fine in the morning.

adaline · 10/05/2019 21:23

Why can't you just put her to bed?

Idonotlikeyoudonaldtrump · 10/05/2019 21:24

I’d put dd to bed if I was that tired and she can read in bed until she’s sleepy.

anxiousbean · 10/05/2019 21:28

I would doze on the sofa but not go to bed - also not sure why. Think it is because I sleep more deeply in bed

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 10/05/2019 21:29

I would,but then again I also have a sensible 7 yo, who will wake up and get herself breakfast etc if up before us.

It really depends on the kid..some are sensible ,will even put themselves to bed when done or come for a cuddle etc. Some can burn down a house with some cotton wool and sheer willpower.

Studentnurse1981 · 10/05/2019 21:31

What's the difference between being sound asleep on a morning whilst dd plays downstairs to going to sleep on a night ???

Purpleartichoke · 10/05/2019 21:43

My dd regularly wakes before me. I don’t see evening as that different.

The caveat for me is that we gave to do DD’s night time meds. So I would have to stay up until it was time for that if DH couldn’t do them.

freddiethegreat · 10/05/2019 21:44

I am going to get flamed, but I don’t go to sleep until my 16 year old is in bed ... usually he is asleep, but wouldn’t count on always! Yeah, yeah .., he could get married etc. I know. Chronologically that’s true.

Waveysnail · 10/05/2019 21:45

I'd get my pjs on and doze on the sofa but I couldn't go to bed. No logic tbh it just doesn't feel right. I have took mine up to bed with me and watched DVDs in my room

Original poster
AutumnNymph · 10/05/2019 21:46

DD is now asleep :) and I am taking myself off to sleep as well. FWIW I am a fairly light sleeper in the initial hours of the night but a deep sleeper in the morning.

DMiL couldn’t explain why she thought
I shouldn’t head off to bed, just that she wouldn’t.

OP posts:
JustCallMeSliths · 10/05/2019 21:50

@Cheby - a frw reasons:

  • when I go to bed at night I'm ASLEEP. When 7 year old gets up in the morning he tells us and although he tries to be quiet, isn't, so although I'm sleeping, it's light sleep. Plus, I'll be waking up gradually anyway whereas at night, I'm just about sleep.
  • Also, son doesn't like the dark so would get a bit freaked out being by themselves in the dark.
  • bedtime. I'm not convinced he would sort that one out!
  • he is always very tired in the evening and although normally very sensible he makes bad decisions when he is worn out. So I'd be reluctant to leave him alone.
Fevertree · 10/05/2019 21:52

Sorry no I really wouldn't do that