To be paranoid ..he is texting another woman? Friends?

[katiehereornot]

I stupidly looked at his phone last night.
We haven't been seeing each other long but I had a gut feeling something was a bit off.
Anyway he had been texting a girl all week and in my opinion it was flirty.
He was initiating the conversation most of the time,texting her when he was heading to work and when he was in bed (yet I hadn't got a text)
I didn't read everything as I didn't have time but some of the messages were him asking if she was going to this outdoor concert near us and saying he was going,talking about when they kissed in the past and did she need a lipstick tester????
Saying someone knocked earlier and he hoped it was her to share her dominoes with her.
Why text her? What's the point?
aibu to be paranoid here?

*Share her dominoes with him

If you haven’t been seeing each other long then what are you doing looking at his phone

It ain’t going anywhere with zero trust at this stage. Leave him.

He had been on his phone most of the night.
Smiling when he got a message.
I know I shouldn't look but I did,it was only a quick look.

Yanbu. Seriously, don't put up with this shit. If he's not shagging her now, he wants to. Please leave him. You deserve better than this piece of wank.

Get rid, he's obviously trying it on with her

He is definitely more interested in the other female than you. Give him the heave ho.

Well that's an easy one! You haven't been together long - if it's like this now it's not going to get any better!
End it now and don't waste any more time on this man.

Op, ignore Shirley, you thought something wasn't right which is why you checked his phone and it isn't. Glad you found out now so you can make things right for yourself xxx

This is dead in the water. Leave him, don't give him the satisfaction of telling him why though. Just go.

You’re not being paranoid, he’s clearly into her

I wish I never looked.
I've got the horrible feeling.
Feel not good enough.
What she got that I don't etc

@katiehereornot you got this all wrong. He is not good enough for you. Say cheerio to this one, dust yourself off and put your best foot forward.

He's not good enough for you. Not the other way round.

Leave him, you deserve better!

Do you think if I just wait a couple of weeks he might get bored texting her?
I really like him and don't want to be too hasty as nothing has went on.
We've only been together 5 weeks so it is quite new.

Have you discussed whether your exclusively dating or dating other people?

If you are exclusively dating then end things with him.

If you are not exclusively dating then have a conversation with him about where you see this going and whether he wants to be exclusive. If he doesn't want to be exclusive then you can make your decision on whether you want to stay with him or not knowing his feelings.

I have lurked this website for ages now but your post made me sign up...
NO. Do not wait a couple of weeks. He’s asking if she wants a lipstick tester and about previous kisses?! No you are not paranoid he is clearly flirting and wants something to happen with her.
I do agree with PP about finding out if you are exclusive however if you are in the uk it’s generally assumed that if you say you’re together then it’s exclusive.
The reason I signed up to post is because you could have been me over 10 years ago.... and I wish to God someone had told me to walk away and I was worth more. YOU ARE WORTH MORE. I waited, I hoped he would get bored or choose me... He didn’t, he kept cheating. A grand total of 8 times that I now know of. I was a complete idiot for forgiving him in the first place. Your guy may not have been physically unfaithful but being emotionally unfaithful is still bad. Please don’t stay with someone in the hope he will get bored of someone else. You deserve so much better and in the long run it could completely tear you apart emotionally and leave you with bugger all self worth. X

If you're not exclusive yet then it's none of your business. If you are, then he's still looking around so his word to you means nothing.

If he’s messaging other women like that after 5 weeks....what the hell will he be like after 5 years?? Do you want to spend the foreseeable future checking his phone and being paranoid about who he’s texting?

Get rid now and find someone who texts you wanting to share your pizza....not other women!

Bin himmmmm!!! Jeez. The guy is such a disrespectful arse that he's already lining up his next shag whilst sat next to you? That is a shitty thing to do, and he is a shitty person.

Who cares what she has - care about what he has - a really shitty personality. Nobody deserves that. Bin him.

Do you think if I just wait a couple of weeks he might get bored texting her?
I really like him and don't want to be too hasty as nothing has went on.
We've only been together 5 weeks

Seriously op have some fucking self respect. YOU DESERVE BETTER. He is not into you, he won’t love you, he is likely not capable. Find someone who deserves you.

Cut your losses.

Have you agreed to be exclusive? If you're just seeing each other after 5 weeks maybe he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong?

To be fair, the first five weeks should be great.....if you meet someone you can see it going somewhere with. He obviously does not see anything serious with you, or he would be wanting you to share his pizza. He's just stringing you along till something better comes along, sorry I know that sounds harsh but it's true. Just get rid and move along, or you will be putting up with years of headfucks and cheating.

Nope, def not paranoid, he's a player, dump and get back out there!

You acted on a gut feeling and it seems you were right. Good news is that you found out before you got hurt (too) badly. Dump his ass, tell him he's free to go be a 'lipstick tester'