AIB Unromantic like Dp thinks?

[NotReadyForThisX2]

We're getting married next year (February) and Dp has just got home all excited with a bunch of holiday brochures and a plan for us to book our honeymoon. Only we already have Ds and I'm currently pregnant, Dc2 will be too young for me to want to leave him and I just don't think it will be much of a honeymoon with two young Dc.

He looks a bit devastated and he thinks it will still be lovely with the two Dc. I'm suggesting we have a uk weekend away and go away in the summer, which he thinks is just what we'd do any year and he wanted something more honeymoon like.
We did always say for our honeymoon we'd do a luxury Maldives/Caribbean destination, as that's not our usual holiday type. I just think the cost and having two Dc with us just doesn't make it worth while or really appeal to me.

Am I terribly unromantic or is he being terribly unrealistic?

Errr Maldives with two kids in tow one of which a very young baby? You're joking right?

Fuck to the no.

For the lack of rapid response health care when you're stuck in a beach cabin alone, on top of the ocean. Just no!!

Tell him to give his head a wobble and have your honeymoon on your first anniversary and leave the kids at home.

He didn't necessarily mean the Maldives @Fiveredbricks. That was just the kind of holiday we'd discussed for our honeymoon pre dc. He'd called to the travel agents for some ideas, but being February it's further afield beach type destinations he was looking into.

Not sure I'd want to leave them by our first anniversary, not for two weeks anyway.
He's looking at city breaks for February now and a longer holiday in the summer or us going in April time but baby would still only be 5 months ish.

I just think I'd rather not. We can still have a lovely holiday in the summer, but just normal lovely.

What's wrong with that? DC will be there if you get married after you've had them & you don't even think you'll be able to leave them a whole year later either.
A city break in Feb and then a lovely family summer/early summer holiday sounds ideal.

Sorry @RainbowMum11, what's wrong with what?
I want to go away in summer, I'm ok with that. I think April baby is still too young. City break I'm ok with, just not sure he's being realistic with how much fun a winter city break with a 16 and 3 month old will be. I was thinking a short break in this country after the wedding so a nice cottage somewhere, so the four of us could just enjoy a few relaxing days together.

Dp seems to think it's got to be something romantic and special and I feel like we'll be wasting money because it's something he feels we should do, rather than something that we want and works.

The type of holiday he wants just won't be good with young kids in tow. It really wont., The flights alone will be a killer.

Why don't you plan that type of holiday for an anniversary and maybe sell it to him with a suggestion of saving for the posh plane seats as well. In a few years when the kids can be left easier?

That's what I'm trying to tell him @gamerchick. When we talked about that type of honeymoon, it would have been two weeks of sex and sun. If we go now it will be two weeks of breastfeeding (for me) babies sharing our bed and keeping babies out of the sun. Hardly romance of the year.
Dp just doesn't seem to be seeing the reality. I'm not sure quite what he's imagining but I don't think it's what I am.

It is very sweet of your intended but wholly impractical. Tell him that you don't actually care about going away, being married to him is the real prize (stroke his ego!) and that the chances of sex will be nil as things stand. However, you could have a lovely, naughty time if you saved your money and went away alone in (insert year) and remind him that you'll both be absolutely gagging for this alone time. Sell it as something else to look forward to besides the wedding.

Congratulations BTW, I wish you both a happy and prosperous life together

I don't think a city weekend break is any more difficult than a weekend in the UK - especially if you're in a hotel rather than self catering.
A nice summer holiday that is family friendly too sounds good.
It sounds like you are both suggesting very similar ideas.

That's what I'm trying to get across to him @Hylobates. He seems to have his head it needs to be a proper honeymoon.

I just think a city break will mean sight seeing and with two small babies I'm not seeing the appeal @RainbowMum11.

He does think and he's probably right that if we leave it and say we'll do it on a few years, we never will.

You need to bring him back down to Earth, in the nicest possible way.

I think for a lot of men, the honeymoon is the bit of the wedding they look forward to most but, he needs to lower his expectations under the circumstances

He’s delusional but I think there’s a compromise to be had.

A lot of people have “mini-moons” ie a short break then delay the dream honeymoon until later.

I’d look at somewhere shorthaul Seville is beautiful, amazing restaurants and popular with young families.

It’s also on the coast

We planned what we thought was our dream honeymoon. It was one disaster after another and we flew home a week early. Booked a few nights in a lovely country hotel here and chilled out. It was bliss and just what we needed.

I'm happy to do short haul in the summer or may/June time. Don't think February will be warm enough and I do want some sun.

My suggestion is 3/4 days somewhere in the uk after the wedding to give us a break. Then two weeks in the summer, short haul though.

Sorry I didn't see your post @federationrep. That's exactly what I want after the planning of the wedding, a few days of chilling just the four of us. Sorry your honeymoon didn't go to plan though.

He's now on to Mexico and we could go a few weeks after the wedding. I'm just not sure he's getting it at all 🤦🏼‍♀️

Plan a lovely trip for just the two of you for your first anniversary. That would be romantic and actually make sense. Your partner is being daft.

We honeymooned in Italy a month after the wedding with our 6 month old. Twas lovely.

Nice that your DH obviously wants to include some Romantic Honeymoon Things but I'm totally with you on the practicalities. I think find somewhere that suits you and includes star gazing from hot tub, and a horse drawn carriage ride. That might make it honeymoony enough??

I'm keen on Italy @pickleface been looking at Sorrento in May/June time, so a bit longer after our wedding, but it gives us something to look forward to and Dc2 will be a few months older too. I didn't really want a February wedding I agreed because Dp wanted to do sooner rather than later.

I'm really not sure I'll be ready to leave the Dc by a year @Aquamarine1029. Haven't left Ds overnight yet, my mum or Dp's babysit but at our house.

Please don’t take this the wrong way but, with two children, the romantic honeymoon ship has sailed. Your idea sounds perfect, save the romantic idyll for when you can go on your own and are able to enjoy it.

I feel like he's being a bit showy off or more thinking what will others think. He's not usually like that but he's been a bit, "we can't say we're going there for our honeymoon" when I've suggested places.

I don't know! I've said no to his plans and now he's being a bit sulky. Everywhere I send as a suggestion he's finding something he doesn't like about it.

Definitely not taken the wrong way @Alsohuman. I completely agree and I don't want the romantic honeymoon, I want a few days after the wedding to chill and a nice holiday a bit later with my family.
I don't know if Dp doesn't believe me or just thinks it's not honeymoony enough.