or am I just over reacting?

[tired1245]

think I may just be hormonal as due on period!!
My partner and are in the process of buying a house, we've both discussed starting a family soon once all moved in.
I really couldn't care about him going out in the evenings and weekends for drinks with his friends, but now he's just said him and his friends are looking to plan to spend a month in America next year, I said to him maybe in years to come when we've settled into our own house, have children etc we could go to Disney Florida for 2/3 weeks, but he said 'if the boys are going, I am'
I don't want to be at home on my own for a month, I know he should miss out, but he acts as though he's still 18 with not a care in the world.
Am I overreacting, just tell me if I am!!

It really is only about the money, surely? Apart from that, why can’t he go?

You want different things. At 26 I'd much prefer to spend my money on a holiday with my mates in the US for a month than a mortgage. But each to their own.
Doesn't sound like you're a great match if you can't see each others point of view at all. Week in Disney with the kids... doesn't quite compare.
This could be his (or yours) last chance for this type of holiday for a long time.

Don't have kids!

Sounds like he’s having commitment issues a man would consider his responsibilities first. Could it just be a fantasy/last minute hope before he has to ‘grow up’? Is he likely to do it? Nothing wrong with going away if he can afford it, but a month is way ott and what next? A holiday home/year in Australia? Every weekend with ‘the boys’ ? there’s a line he has to draw. I’d put a hold on the house buying until you’ve spoken about what you both want, don’t rush into anything. I’d personally hold back and not make anymore commitments to him until he proves he’s grown up.

Being grown up and wanting to go travelling are not mutually exclusive. Although I guess if the holiday impacts on your house buying plans then yes, he's not considering all of his responsibilities now he's made that commitment to you to buy a house.

If money is not an issue, and he still had some leave left so that we could plan something together then I don't see the problem. You're both very young and should enjoy these years before kids come along (if you want them). Disney with kids would not cut it compared to a month doing Route 66. This would be a holiday lifetime and he's likely to hold it against you if he doesn't go. Are his mates all single? I would organise something myself with friends or enjoy the peace and quiet 😊.

'if the boys are going, I am'

I have loads of objections to your hopes of a happy family with this chap, but his statement sums them up. He has told you clearly that he is more influenced by his friends than by you.

Basically, your concerns are not his problem.

I don't think you should be investing your money, time or future in a man who sees you as background noise.

He could always invite you along too to this holiday of a lifetime, or is it a male-only affair?

If he is still at that stage in his life inwould reconsider buying a house with him to be honest. You sound like you want different things.

Doesn't matter if it's a week or a month, it's his entitled attitude that is a red flag.

Once you take a serious step like moving in together (never mind TTC) then you have conversations about these types of decisions. Like some PPs say, a month for them is not a problem. But he needs to understand your priorities shift when you move in together and you aren't living the single life anymore. It takes compromise.

So what happens on the next boys trip and the next and the next?

If you are making a commitment to combine your life and resources you should be discussing this. Not one person making their decision and telling you that is it.

What will happen if he wants an expensive car or any other purchase? Does the bathroom get put on hold another year?

He isn't in the same place as you, think twice about this.

Your DP doesn’t sound too interested in buying/renovating a house with you, or starting a family.

A month is too long, a week or two sounds okay.