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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why do some people think paying their childminder is optional?

103 replies

ShiveringCoyote · 08/05/2019 09:03

DSis is a child minder, has been for years. Two sets of parents have asked to leave off paying her for April until next week because "expensive month for them" and " car needs repairs". Its not the first time its happened and she said its very common amongst minders, especially at this time of year and Christmas.

OP posts:
MrsSpenserGregson · 08/05/2019 10:48

It's absolutely not OK and extremely rude! Also smacks of lack of empathy, as these parents should realise that CMs earn a lot less than them, so are less likely to have a buffer. Not that that would make it OK! There was a Twitter campaign a while ago about the crap excuses people give freelancers for not paying. It went along the lines of "Would you say this to the man running the corner shop?". Does your DSis have contracts with each parent? She should include clauses about the consequences of late or non-payment of fees. It's so selfish of these parents!

I run a shop and people actually do ask to pay later! We sell stuff but we also provide a repair service, and people regularly expect to be able to collect their things and pay "as soon as I have the money" or whatever.

I've started charging 50% up front now before any work is done, unless we know the customer really well. Which customers really don't like, and I don't blame them really, but at the end of the day we just cannot afford not to.

Chloemol · 08/05/2019 11:04

I think she should just say, ok if you want to defer, however I need to defer looking after the children until I have been paid, then see how they like that

bagsofbats · 08/05/2019 11:11

wow I am amazed people do this! there is a long line of people I would willingly upset before my childminder, she is way too precious to my kids and our family life.

LazyLizzy · 08/05/2019 11:12

I need to defer looking after the children until I have been paid.

Agree.

RainbowWaffles · 08/05/2019 11:15

I don’t think it’s anything to do with not valuing the work, it’s just that a lot of people are cheeky and bad with money. People pay what and when they think they can get away with.

User6949671 · 08/05/2019 11:15

I've just ended up in small claims because of this. They still refuse to bloody pay. Just think some people don't veiw it as a high priority cost or they think you can't turn the child away. Seriously thinking about leaving childcare because of the whole experience, if only I had some idea of what to do I think I would!! It's such a needed and disregard profession, unless your a teacher you clearly only do the job for fun

Chickychoccyegg · 08/05/2019 11:24

some people are sorude and entitled!
im a cm, i charge a month in advance and £10 per day late fee's, also no pay then no care, its taken a long time to get tough but so much better now, everyone pays on time.

Jaxhog · 08/05/2019 11:25

Totally unreasonable. How would they feel if she didn't mind their kids for a month because she 'had a busy month'? Or if THEIR employer decided not to pay them for a similar reason?

CM is a JOB like any other. Not a charity.

@dreamingofsun same with being a LL. You hear so many people saying 'but they knew I was having a hard time so I didn't pay my rent'.

You wouldn't dream of saying this to a bank, so why is it ok to do this to a CM or LL?

SimonJT · 08/05/2019 11:27

That’s a really shitty attitude, I have a cleaner and I wouldn’t dream of delaying payment, I have chosen for her not to come this week but I’m still paying her as I shouldn’t deny her pay because I chose to move things around for a week.

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 08/05/2019 11:30

I am self employed (office work) and many years ago learned a helpful tip from someone I worked for. If they are late paying you charge them interest (at an exorbitant rate of interest set by yourself though you don't stipulate the rate on the invoice!). I have on my invoice a statement that if they haven't paid by 21 days from date of invoice, interest will be charged. I've only had to do it once in the last 30 years (though have had to remind a regular client of this rule a couple of times as he is always slow paying). It worked like a charm the one time I did it - client paid immediately - total including the added interest (since then several acquaintances have temped for him against my advice and been paid months late or not at all - they wouldn't take my tip!). In your sister's case, OP, she is better to say their child can't be looked after unless they are paid up as no doubt lots of others have said.

tenbob · 08/05/2019 11:30

It's not just childminders
I've had a couple of nannies, and have also used local nannies as ad hoc babysitters
Every. Single. One has had got stories of a previous family who has paid them late, or 'forgotten' to pay them for a week, so the nannies have to chase payment

One of them was left to housesit for 2 weeks while the family went on holiday, and not paid while they were away
She was only able to buy food because she had a few babysitting jobs lined up and was being paid in cash for those

Troels · 08/05/2019 11:36

Our old childminder charged in advance. Due to having had this done to her in the past.
She'd do weekly or monthly.
So if it was weekly, don't turn up without payment for the week or she would refuse entry, and she had done that too.
Some parents have no respect for childminders. I always paid mine on time and in full, I knew I needed her or couldn't work so made sure to keep my end of the contract.

KathleenW · 08/05/2019 11:36

I understand your sister's problem. I run a children's out of school club and have done for a few years. I love running it but I hate chasing payment. 50% of the parents pay at the start of term as requested, some are late and pay after a reminder, some put it off for as long as possible and need 4 or 5 emails before they pay and a few have sent their children to me for a term and then disappeared into the sunset having never paid. I don't know what else I can do to fix the problem. Often children are brought by grandparents or by the child's friends parent and some older ones make their own way so the parents can avoid me whilst knowing their child is attending. I love my club but I'm thinking of discontinuing simply because of this.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 08/05/2019 11:36

They are looking after one of two things most precious to me so want to treat them well.

Exactly - yet so many people begrudge paying it.

Bookworm4 · 08/05/2019 11:41

I'm self employed and find people do have poor attitudes, I regularly get asked to discount to which I reply 'would you like it if your boss said you were working for half wages?' usually shuts them up. Your sister should try it and tell them she won't be taking the child if payment is not made in 24hrs, they wouldn't be able to work if it wasn't for her childminding.
Get tough, be firm.

Purplelion · 08/05/2019 11:45

She needs to charge people a month in advance. Then if they don’t pay she doesn’t take the children!
My DD goes 3 days a week and we have to pay for the following month on the last day of then month so we are always a month ahead!

Roomba · 08/05/2019 11:49

But she is like millions of self employed businesses who have to wait for their money. It isnt child minder exclusive.

My ex was self employed and I was gobsmacked at how often people and other companies thought it was acceptable to pay late, often very late indeed! He even had customers who were also friends or family, so they were well aware that the money was needed on time for us to pay our bill and eat - they were generally the worst for paying on time too Hmm

RainbowWaffles · 08/05/2019 11:50

The terms and conditions are crucial. As pp have said, a month in advance gives you some insurance and late fees/ interest provide an incentive for people to pay on time. Refusing to take children once payments are say, a week late, really makes sure people prioritize payment of childcare!

wengie · 08/05/2019 11:51

I agree, woman dominated roles are very under valued.

Sorry but I don't agree with that what has gender got to do with how she runs her business. If they don't pay then turn them away a nursery wouldn't have it so why should she.

Shimy · 08/05/2019 11:54

I'm more shocked that they would be so stupid as to cite "expensive month for us", as reason for not paying on time. I mean how entitled and selfish can you get? if you're going to pay late at least think up something that isn't going to give your CM the rage.

nancy75 · 08/05/2019 11:55

KathleenW I'm in exactly the same position as you, we run an after school activity.
We have recently brought in online booking & payment which has improved things massively and we have started telling people that their child is not insured to take part unless they have booked online. They get one weeks grace & if they have not paid I have told people child will be turned away or if not with parent will have to sit out and not join in.
It's a horrible thing to have to do to kids but we were getting to the end of term with over £5 thousand outstanding and we just couldn't afford to do it anymore.

RussianSpamBot · 08/05/2019 11:56

What's generation entitled janeeyre? Presumably parents using the services of a childminder could be anything from late teens to early 50s. Or do you just mean kind of sign of the times?

YANBU OP! But if her terms are that tight, do they not include deadlines and provision for what happens if not paid by deadline? If not then they need to, particularly if she charges in arrears.

wengie · 08/05/2019 11:57

Here's an excuse bank account been frozen because of fraud will take a few days to sort it out. Some one in USA tried to hack my account to buy fancy drinks. That did happen actually the bank called my dp the next day to tell him what happened. They had to send him a new bank card with new numbers.

NorthernRunner · 08/05/2019 11:58

Hello 👋🏻 CM here, it happens so frequently, and it’s the most horrendous feeling to know that a family, who you welcome into your home, don’t respect you enough to consider it a priority bill.
As a CM you don’t want to say no because you love and care for the child and you feel like you are doing them a massive disservice but equally, this is my income. How would you feel if your employer said, sorry but I need your wages to fix my boiler so erm you won’t get paid until next month...

I have twice had to verbally warn parents no payment, no childcare, and only once had to go down the legal route via my insurance company. It actually broke my heart and left me very unwell, it was such a devastating experience to take a parent to court but I felt it was important as my bills were crippling me, and as a result, my daughter.

I would urge your DSis to stick to terms of contract and refuse care for the month they can’t pay.

Drum2018 · 08/05/2019 11:59

I assume your Dsis is adult enough to say a firm no to these unreasonable requests. If she lets them away with it once, it opens the door for them to continue taking advantage of her.