Why do some people think paying their childminder is optional?

[ShiveringCoyote]

DSis is a child minder, has been for years. Two sets of parents have asked to leave off paying her for April until next week because "expensive month for them" and " car needs repairs". Its not the first time its happened and she said its very common amongst minders, especially at this time of year and Christmas.

We only used our CM for about 6 months, we paid the month upfront, so if we didn't pay she wouldn't have taken DS.

It's shocking that people think they can get away with this. it may be an expensive month, but paying for the services you use (including CM's) is something you budget for first, then you budget what you have left.

She needs to get tough. Charge up front and leave a deposit when the child starts with her. If the children were in nursery this is the minimum the parents would have to do.

I used to tutor and people also thought they didn't necessarily need to pay me, I had to learn to be more businesslike .

Depends how much her services are in demand. If she knows she can fill her places, then I think the answer is that unless the bill is paid, in full, on time, they will need to look for another childminder. That should sharpen up the parents' priorities.

Upfront payment on Sunday at latest by PayPal or transfer. I'd they dont pay then dont accept the child monday

dreamingofsun my favourite no rent comment was: its my daughters birthday so I cant pay you (ie hb £400pounds worth...) I would loved to have been able to spend that amount of money on my dd!

I agree with op it’s nothing to do with the type of work etc. People will do this where they feel they can and where they feel they’ll get away with it. They seem to detach the service they receive from the need for payment!

It's because some salaried people simply do not understand what it is like to run a small business.

Agree she needs to charge in advance (tricky to change existing clients but certainly all new ones) and refuse to provide the service if she’s not been paid yet that month.

For the current non payers she needs to refuse to have their DC until they’re up to date with payment.

It’s CF behaviour from the parents to not think of it as a non-negotiable expense like rent/mortgage, council tax, groceries etc. I think it’s especially shocking that people don’t want to pay the person who is looking after something as precious as their children!

Stop providing the service til the payments are up to date, and ignore the inevitable sob stories. They’re in the wrong, not her

This entitled attitude needs nipping in the bud quickly, clearly and thoroughly.

Would these same people try and bargain with their local council about non payments of their council tax? Imagine trying to tell a finance company you can't pay, for example, for a car being bought on finance? These, like your DSis's child minding, are businesses/services which need to paid for on time.

Do they see your DSis as a soft touch? Maybe she can tighten up her contract to include penalties or late ("deferred") payments. You'll always get some chancers - best to give them no leeway in the first place.

I would have her ask them whether they have asked Sainsbury's if they can have their food for free this month?

Apparently, at least with childcare, it's more likely to alter people's behaviour if you explain to them the impact (like not being able to pay her own bills, having to stop childminding, etc etc) rather than imposing fines. Not just for late payment but late collection.

Our childminder charged for contracted hours up front and then overtime and sundries are in arrears.

I’ve never paid late and would definitely prioritise it but it is the only one of my regular bills which requires a manual payment. Everything else is paid by standing order or direct debit. I have a standing order set up to go to the tax-free child care account at the beginning of every month but I have to do a manual payment out of that account at the end of the month because there is no way to automate a variable amount. I always try to pay as soon as I receive the invoice so that I don’t forget, and I have reminders set up on my phone - but I am paranoid that I will slip up one day. I would be mortified if I did though, and would definitely offer interest.

I agree that your sister should start charging in advance, not in arrears.
That way if they don't pay she can refuse to mind the children. Puts her on a much stronger footing.

On here when anyone is struggling for money and trying to juggle work/childcare someone will always say “become a child minder “
Like it’s a default option for someone who can’t get a job
I’m not a childminder but I’m sure it’s very annoying to have your profession ( and actually your business as they are SE) devalued like that.

Because if you just impose a fine then people view that as the worst consequence and make their decision based purely on whether or not the fine is acceptable to them - not based on all the other disruption and problems their behaviour causes.

Personally I think the only way to make it work as a CM is to be strictly payment in advance and to turn away people who haven't paid. There are just too many who can and do take the absolute piss.

I think she should make it clear from the off, that late payments are "not on" ,Some parents still seem to think that Childminding is not a "real" job for some reason.At the moment she should tell these parents that in future they will have to pay by a Standing Order ,and that if payments are not made on time, then she cant guarantee their places !.If they were at a Nursery for example this would not be acceptable at all!

Because people are selfish.

They don’t think that the Cm has a mortgage to pay, gas and electricity to pay, council tax to pay, food to buy etc

If I were the childminder I would say no. Not least because if you say yes once then you’ve sanctioned it and they’ll think they can do it again.

I’d also give them a date by which she wants the money then if she’s not received it she can give the parents 30 days notice.

Where I live CMs are in high demand so hopefully she wouldn’t struggle to find work.

If I was DSis I would then ask them for advice on how she can defer her mortgage payments and gas/electric? Cheeky fuckers.

I'm sure your DSis has other people wanting to take their place.

That's shocking, and I agree that it's to do with the lack of value placed on what's still seen as 'women's work'. I wonder what those parents' reactions would be if they picked up their kids and your sister casually mentioned that she hadn't bothered giving them lunch/snacks because her car needed repairs?

She needs to add something about not doing deferred payments to her contract.

Your sister needs to change her system.

She needs to take a deposit of at least two weeks.
She needs to take the months payment in advance instead of arrears.
She needs to have heavy financial penalties for late payments.

And advise parents that 2 late payments will result in notice being given.

So what does your sister do when her parents don’t pay or are late paying? Does she implement her contract t&c’s?

I work and expect to be paid at the end of the month for the work I’ve done. In turn I am always very prompt in paying my childminder. She’s a professional and almost an extended member of our family, my children adore her. I respect her and the work she died for us, and I pay her promptly.

*does for us

Because it's not real work - for three reasons 1) a woman is doing it 2) she's doing it in her own home 3) looking after children isn't work. Twats. They wouldn't try going into Asda and asking if they could take their shopping and not pay for it because they're a bit strapped would they? And if their employer tried it with them because cashflow was a bit tight, there'd be hell to pay.

She does have tight terms in her contract but that's with non payments, these parents are asking to defer payments.

Until it's paid, a "deferred payment" is a non-payment. Ask a bank, Sky, Virgin, your local council ....