To be considering a bathroom ultimatum for DS?

[TottWriter]

Okay, so DS is 11 years old. He's generally pretty good, if burdened with what I am assuming is the usual pre-teen scatterbrains (uniform wedged in the bottom of the wardrobe instead of folded, bed perpetually unmade, constant reminders needed that his personal hygiene requirements are now stepping up a notch and will require effort on his part to fix them).

Unfortunately, whereas most of the above are slowly (like, continental-drift kinda speed slowly) improving, the bathroom is getting worse. Specifically, his aim is getting worse, not better, and I am getting pretty tired of the bathroom smelling like a public loo.

DS is the only male individual in the house. It's all on him, and I'm getting a bit...frustrated that we're going backwards here. I did this once. It's annoying to have it a second time.

It's at the point, having just cleaned out a toilet which was - TMI warning - practically flooded behind the rim, that I am considering giving him an ultimatum: either he learns to aim better, or he can be the one cleaning it up.

Obviously he's a little bit young to just hand the bathroom cleaning products to, so it would be more a case of him wiping things down (and then I'll do the regular real clean when he's at school), but am I being unrealistic about his bathroom capabilities? Surely it's not too much to ask that he actually aims it into the toilet and not all over the effing hinges for the seat???

So long as he doesn't drink it, or pour it in his eyes, what harm can he actually do with a bottle of bleach?

It doesn’t need bleach! Just a general cleaning spray and a bit of loo roll.

And all of mine (3,6 and 9) can clean up after themselves. And get called back to clean up if they don’t.

Mine is 7 and I make him clean

No need for bleach. I have a septic tank so there is no bleach in this household. I still manage to have a clean loo without any bleach or wipes.

He's 11 so year 7? Or going i to yr7 soon. They have science lessons with Bunsen burners etc he will have a cookery class where he will use an oven, and have to clean up after himself, im pretty sure that with instruction he can handle a bottle of bloody dettol. Please stop coddling him, you are creating a selfish snowflake and making.more work for yourself. He made a.mess he can clean it up.

If you don’t properly ‘train’ him, you’ll just pass him on to his wife without the ability to puss in a straight line or clean up after himself and you’ll be the Mil from Hell who raised a man child, incapable of pissing or cleaning properly.

Make sure you are waiting with cleaning spray everytime he uses the bathroom, he’ll soon learn. Show him how to clean the rest of the bathroom too, make that one of his weekly chores.

Does he leave skid marks too? At 11 he is more than capable of cleaning up after he uses a toilet.

No offence but after your last post I think you're the problem. He's 11. If he's NT then you need to stop pandering to him and tell him not to screw it up.

Tell him to sit on toilet whilst peeing
You never know, his foreskin might be ballooning with pee and then spirting
I do think that if a child is struggling with basics like this, handing them a bottle of bleach would be inviting an accident.
If you really wanted him to try to clean this up, you could give him a pack of baby wipes so he wouldn’t be struggling with harsh chemicals.
There’s no need for people to be shocked or mean about this, it’s a very common problem which the op has sought help to address

He is not too young. I put rubber gloves on my 5 year old and had him wipe up his pee after decided to pee all over the bathroom for the fun of it. He used toilet paper then when he finished I wiped over with antibac

Defo get him cleaning up, but also consider that if his aim is getting worse, he may have an issue with his foreskin, which is making aiming difficult.

I made my step son do this after sitting down for a wee in the night and getting his piss all over me. He was about 11.

The next time it happened (and not the middle of the night!) I basically marched him up to the toilet and gave him the spray and some toilet roll and told him to clean it. I watched him to make sure he got all the really gross bits that I generally have to clean despite not being the one who actually pisses anywhere but the bowl.

He never did it again.

So no I don’t think he’s too young, but if you’re concerned then just supervise a couple of times.

Jesus Christ will all the ‘harsh chemicals’ shit. He probably puts lemon and vinegar on his fish and chips which is about as strong as an anti bac spray

My SSs were doing this until around age 12 and 13. They eventually stopped peeing all over the toilet seat when they were told to get back in the bathroom and clean it each time. In our case all we really needed them to do was lift the toilet seat and then I’d continue to clean the toilet as usual. I just hated accidentally sitting in pee every time I forgot to check!

If it helps after sitting down on a peed on seat by accident the other day I’ve implemented this with my son already and he’s younger. He had warnings. He’s cleaning the toilet now!

Just popping by to second the suggestion of putting a target in the toilet bowl. I do this with Sharpie (still needs to be re-drawn regularly) for my 8yo.
And if he doesn’t hit it, he cleans up! Even if only to mop it up with toilet roll - having to deal with his own mess is a good motivation for making less of it!

Tell him to sit down pee! My DP can't aim properly due to a condition, so he has to sit down pee or else my floor would be covered!

No need to"hand over a bottle of bleach"

He can use loo roll to soak up the wee for flushing. spray and wipe the area with anti-bac spray or a anti-bac wipe.

Dispose of wipe/cloth in whatever manner is suitable.

Keep gloves in the loo if needed.

Job done.

Stop babying him. And make him clear up his own wee

My almost 10yr old DS cleans the bathroom, that's his chore. I don't hand over a bottle of bleach, he has anti bac sprays, glass cleaner, cloths and gloves and he opens with window when he's doing it. Plus I always find things to do upstairs while he's doing it. I haven't observed him doing anything dangerous! He also cleans all of the upstairs windows...inside, I don't hoy him up a ladder

OP definitely get him to clean up after himself!

put a ping pong ball in the loo for him to aim at, apparently it stays afloat when the flush goes so doesn't flush away.... disclaimer i have never actually tried this!

I’ve expected my kids to clean up after themselves from the moment they started using the loo. A skid mark means call me for the little ones but drips and messes are their responsibility (all under 6).

How can you can toilet train them without teaching them what to do when they have an accident!!! He’s 11. He should have been doing this for years!

Just to add, I know the kids that haven’t been toilet trained. They are frankly disgusting in the house. And my heart sinks a bit when one of the known ones who’ve not been taught properly by their parents goes into the loo.

One of my teens is autistic and dyspraxic with very poor life skills. He still needs to learn how to clean a bathroom!

I'm not sure if he'll live independently but even if he stays here until I'm old or lives in supported living he will need to clean up after himself.

I wouldn't give him bleach but he has been using a spray and cloth since he was about 9 or 10. Admittedly he's not great at doing it as it takes him a lot longer to learn how to do stuff, but he knows what he's meant to do .

Well old enough to clean up after himself
He can always wipe up with a bit of tissue, if he makes more mess a bit of general bathroom spray or a spray bottle of 50/50 water vinegar if you are worried about him and anything too toxic.

So do you ask him to wipe it every single time then? Or because you don’t want him to use bleach he doesn’t have to do anything at all?

I make my 8 yo clean it when he does this, he uses tissues then detail wipes and I check to make sure it’s cleaned properly otherwise he does it again. 11 is not too young.

*dettol